Monday, August 16, 2004
For such a beautiful song about beauty in simple things, it’s seems so poignant sometimes.
Where would I be if I hadn’t started my journal back in February? I thought it would help me make sense of things, and it has. But I never thought that I would meet such wonderful people who would become such good friends to me.
Julie, Jan, Anna, Anita, Mary, everyone, thank you for your friendship.
Although ‘Thank you’ just doesn’t seem like enough.
I just don’t quite know what exactly I did this summer to put me in this position. It’s no one else’s fault but mine.
We’re not ready for this week. We’re not prepared to go to the end of the year.
I’m always fixated on the mistakes I’ve made in the past, even though I know I should let them go…God’s already forgotten them. Now I have another mistake to add to the list.
I’ve dropped the ball.
I’m feeling…frantic. I have to go figure out how to climb myself out of a hole, and in the meantime present a calm front to my daughter, which I haven’t been very successful in doing lately. I wish there were more than me.
I’m sure I’ll figure things out. I hope it gets done sooner than later. I wish I could skip this process and already be There, over There, having jumped over this point to the next point where I don’t feel like such a failure.
More half full later, I hope…