I'm bleeding out...

I'm sitting in the living room of my new apartment with my darling daughter...we're both on our computers and watching an awesome comedian named Gabriel Iglesias on TV, and laughing hysterically.

The fact that we're in our living room and watching TV is something I still can't quite get over. For over a year, Chelsea and I hadn't been able to relax in our living room and hang out together, and this is just. so. nice!

I love our new place. It's full of natural light, and the hardwood floors are so shiny and beautiful, and it has such possibilities. It's true, it needs a lot of work, but I don't care. The feeling of freedom I have here is priceless.

We're on the second floor again, but with a huge difference. Just to get up to our building we have to walk up a gauntlet of steps on a very steep hill; by the time I get to the actual steps to get up to my apartment, I have to stop and take a breather. When I'm carrying groceries or something, forget it - I start seeing black spots before my eyes on the last flight of stairs, it's pretty funny.

This is the type of place where everyone knows everyone else and hangs with each other. It makes me a little uncomfortable, actually, because I'm not the social type. I've already told Chelsea she will have to do all the socializing for us.

So...I think the current school of thought on me is, um, crazy, flaky, scattered, suggestible and absent. That's just the impression I have, anyway.

I think it's because I moved, and so quickly. People aren't used to me doing anything, much less in a hurry. I'm definitely more of a turtle type. I've only made a few major decisions in my life:

1. I had a daughter.
2. I decided NOT to work in a factory.
3. I graduated from college with a degree in Philosophy.
4. I moved.
5. I moved again.

That's all I can think of.

But anyway, this is what I come up with when people ask why I moved:

To co-workers: I had to move because my floor-sleeper wouldn't leave.
To family: Um...because...it's closer to work?

Neither of these seem to be an acceptable answer to people. I wonder why?

.......................................................................

It's 2 a.m., and I've relocated to my bedroom. I'm trying desperately to end this useless post, but my daughter followed me in here and is playing with my kitty. Chelsea isn't going to bed anytime soon, she came home from work at 9 p.m. and this is Happy Hour.

I am sooo old!

I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in

Chelsea helped me with my room yesterday. We're packing this week, among other things.

When I learned of my grandmother's cancer, back in 2009, that's kind of when things went south for me, and my room reflected that. 

We got through piles of books, DVDs, CDs, papers...the stuff on the bottom was stuff that I'd last seen 5 years ago. It was kind of like an archaeological study on depression symptom #2: not having the energy or the interest to take care of things.

I'm much better now. In the past year, especially, I've come a long way from the dark place that landed me in the hospital back then. I think I've finally hit the right combination of medicine, I have figured out coping mechanisms, I know my triggers...

But this month, I'm desperately wishing to be anywhere else. Isn't that awful? I want to drown my sorrows in something...check myself in the hospital...just lay under my covers and hide forever!

But I can't, because I'm stronger now. My brother has cancer and the pill he takes makes him sick and my grandfather had brain surgery again and he's in the hospital and I have to divide my time between packing up my life to move this week and visiting my grandpa in the hospital.

My grandfather also has cancer again, and this time they can't do anything with it. They're giving him six months to a year.

My mom and my aunt, wimps that they are, sent my brother to tell me the news. He was very no nonsense about it, much like he was when he told me that he himself had cancer.

I just want to cry.

Well okay, I have. But only in my room, late at night. 

I just can't even express how much I hate cancer.

10 years. 10 YEARS!

All of a sudden, ten years is today!, and I have to make a fabulous post, an hour after I've already taken my Ambien, which means...nooooo fabulous post is coming from me tonight! Maybe tomorrow...

But my ADD couldn't just leave this date empty, so this WILL be the official 10-year anniversary post! Sad, very sad, but true...

I've been trying and I can't really remember what prompted me to start blogging to begin with.

It was the days of AOL dial-up, so we had lots of open time while we were waiting 20 minutes to download one song at a time from Napster, and AOL started something called AOL Journals (it was blogging), and all us nerdy writer types signed up. And then we went from there.

And a lot of people quit along the way, or moved sites, but I stayed...I tend to stay somewhere until I'm forced from the building. Finally I was forced to move to Blogspot, and I've been here ever since. Yay!

I truly love my blog. It's a purely personal blog...when I started it, I was a young mom with a young daughter and we were having a sometimes difficult, sometimes wonderful life. 

As we both got older, our lives changed, and as Chelsea was able to take better care of herself, my grandmother got sick and my world fell apart. 

My blog became a record, and an outlet for the things I couldn't tell my family, because they were in as much pain as I was in.

So...I'm trying to gather my thoughts because the Ambien is kicking in big time! ... This blog has been a lifesaver for me. When I write down the things that have happened, the things that I have felt, I know them to be true. It's been cathartic. I think it's helped my mother and daughter, too, who've also read it.

I love my blog and I love the friends it has brought me, that's definitely the most important thing. Thank you all for sticking with me through my migraines and meltdowns and mild little freakouts; I'm totally appreciative (hope you don't stop now!), and you rock!, thanks y'all!!!

Don't you bring me down today...

Orchard in Blossom with View of Arles by Vincent Van Gogh

I'm only mildly irritated that every time I try to comment on a post, my comment disappears into the blogosphere. THREE times that has happened, so far. No wait, FOUR.

I'm practicing my breathing.

Chelsea and I are moving! Probably. Most likely. Our new place will be not as nice, is smaller and has no fireplace, BUT it's closer to work and is almost half the rent.

The most important thing and the biggest impetus for our move is that our new place will not have a floor-sleeper.

I know it's a tiny bit ridiculous...I'm basically moving because my squatter won't leave.

Let me be a precautionary tale, although I seriously doubt there's anyone out there as naive, gullible, timid, pushover-y and can't say no-y as me.

I'm going to pick this up again tomorrow when my stuff isn't disappearing into the nether...I'm hoping this doesn't disappear!

Let me know if you have some oceanfront property in Arizona you're looking to get rid of...

Trying to walk to my own beat...

Here's what I'd like...

1. More time
2. More time
3. More time
4. Bloggie friends to please stop blogging so I can catch up!!!
5. More time
6. No more migraines
7. No more migraines
8. No more migraines
9. Warmth
10. Warmth

Okay, since we have that out of the way, NEXT!

Here's another throwback post celebrating ten years of blogging, suggested by Chelsea, who wants it known that she is no longer scared of BTVS and also, she does not talk to ghosts. Or vampires.

From 7/6/04, If you only knew...

My daughter begged and begged to be allowed to watch an episode, ANY episode, of Buffy...her reasons being that she is a big fan of the Once More, With Feeling soundtrack, and she is almost 12 now, and ALL her friends are allowed to watch the show, except for her, etc...
So I thought, well, the first season was pretty tame, I'll let her watch Welcome to Sunnydale/The Harvest.  I even made her close her eyes through the bad parts and turned the sound down.
She seemed to take it well enough, until bedtime.  Here are the top five reasons why letting your immature almost-12-year-old watch Buffy is not a good idea:
5.  There is no question, this time, about whose bed she is sleeping in tonight.

4.  You get drawn into a long, drawn-out treatise on why vampires really do exist.  Even when you say, "They're not real. Period."  You get asked back, "How do you KNOW?".  "You can't be sure."  The child then proceeds to tell you where in the Bible it says that demons walk the earth, and vampires are demons, right? Um...

3.  She immediately makes plans to ask our preacher to bless some holy water for her.

2.  She rearranges the kitchen cabinets looking for garlic powder.

And, even though I've assured her that a) vampires aren't real, and b) they couldn't get in the house anyway without being invited in, the top reason against letting her watch this is:

1.  She slept last night with a wooden 'Medieval Times' stake under her pillow.

I promise you there's hope...

Sometimes it seems like I'm wasting space. Well, a lot of the time it feels like that.

I promise I'm better, comparatively! It's just a habit, I think, along with feeling a little at odds in my environment. Now that I'm feeling a little healthier, I don't even know where to start.

:)

I asked Chelsea for ideas on how to celebrate my 10th anniversary of blogging and she was way too important and busy.

She used to be a proper minion who did all my work for me but now she has a job and thinks she's allowed to like, live her own life and stuff.

What's up with that? Children just think they can grow up and move on and OMG! - NOW I understand why my mom is always so mad if I don't talk to her on the weekends!

*Epiphany*

:)

Sooo...

Here is a look back ten years ago at one of Chelsea's and Mom's favorite posts:

Good Memories, Part 1

Wednesday, March 3, 2004

We spent Memorial Day at my grandparent's farm last summer.  My grandparent's farm - this is the place where I love to go for the peacefulness and the woods and the brilliant night sky.  I guess it's nice during the day, too, if it wasn't for the bugs and the heat and the sun and that since it's a family picnic you're not supposed to stay inside and read your book.

My daughter was doing softball at the time at the Y and I suggested we play baseball so she could get some practice.  My bossy brother heard me and insisted we play kickball instead.  I'm 31 and my brother is 36 and we still regress back to our childhood roles of him being bossy and me being sneaky.

He decided we were going to choose teams, that archaic schoolyard practice that still haunts me - I was always chosen last in elementary school.  But this time, my daughter was picking - she picked me first!  She also picked my 73-year old grandfather.  

This is the part that makes it my favorite memory.  I never knew anything until I saw my grandfather, who I love and admire and who I placed on a pedestal when I was five years old, playing this kickball game.  Determination.  Coaching - "Michelle, you need to run fast!".  Verve.  

And the best moment of all, Popa sprinting around third base and heading for home, with my bossy brother aiming for him, and so my 73-year old grandfather slides into home plate.  SAFE!  And the crowd roared.

 It was a perfect moment. 

December Photo A Day, Days 17-19 - Tree, Big and 'Tis The Season To

More late December Photo Entries:

Day 17 - Tree

Can you tell this is a tree?

Every time we have an ice storm, there are two willowy trees in front of my apartment that bend completely to the ground with the weight of the ice.

When the ice melts, the trees stand back up.

What looks like Christmas lights up there is actually the setting sun behind me glinting off the branches.

Day 18 - Big

I begged Chelsea to help me with this one.

We decided our kitty was pretty big (!), so Chelsea grabbed her and went and took a picture.

Then we laughed hysterically at the expression on my poor kitty's face.

My cat's big, right?!?!

She was just a kitten when I got her, and then she grew and grew and grew. For YEARS, she kept growing. She's apparently a Maine Coone mix, they're the ones who keep growing and get big and furry like that.

Day 19 - 'Tis The Season To

'Tis the season to GIVE.

Chelsea took this picture for me as well. This is one of our local Angel Trees. Instead of exchanging presents with people who have everything, you can take names from the Angel Tree. 

This way your money and time goes toward purchasing clothes and toys for a child who may otherwise not have a Christmas at all.

DONE.

In other news, I'm trying my hardest to make it to January. That's when I get my days back and I can take a day off and just THINK.

The ability to stop time would be so handy. I want that.

December Photo A Day, Days 11 and 12 - Green and Joy

 

Green

For Photo Challenge Day 11, I give you Green - Chelsea in a floor-length, handmade cape. The outside is black lace, the inside is green felt. It's hand-stitched... 

It took Chelsea forever and ever to make this, I would look inside her room and see her sewing away. I have no idea why she doesn't use a sewing machine! The button is also handmade. My girl is truly talented. :)

Joy

For Day 12, I give you Joy - Me, taking my beautiful baby daughter out in her first snow, 21 years ago. 

My mom took this picture, I'm standing on the front sidewalk, still living at home, of course. I'm still a teenager, fresh out of high school, just started college, still wearing my high school jacket - the one and only RED piece of clothing I've ever owned. :) 

I have to laugh when I look at this picture. Inside the house we had me, my mom, and my grandma all fussing over baby Chelsea to make sure she didn't get a chill on her 1-minute foray into the weather. The result is the wrapped up baby you can barely see here, LOL. :)

December Photo A Day, Days 6-7-8-9 - Shadow; 6 O`Clock; I Shop Here; This Is The Weather Today

Friday's snow

I'm dreadfully behind and I've been dreadfully sick. I don't know if it's the flu. How can it be? I HAD A FLU SHOT. I worked two whole days last week. I'm still feverish and headache-y and nauseated and I'm so dehydrated and I can't get enough water.

And I'm full of things to talk about but my head is so heavy...I want to talk about Friday's ice and snow and the two and a half hour journey it took to get home and how we actually did get stuck going up our hill, it was pretty funny. 

Mark and I finally switched seats at work, and I love it. Except that I am closer to more annoying people talking so I need better headphones for my iPod. And I have less privacy, but I knew that going in. I didn't count on the annoying people talking part, though. The headphones can't come fast enough!!

I apologize for my sloppy blogging and blog-visiting...I am sure I will start feeling better this week. Pleeeeeease let me feel better this week...

Now on to December Photo A Day Challenge, Days 6-7-8-9:

Day 6: Shadow (Chelsea took this, because I had no idea what do do)

Day 7: 6 O`Clock - My phone screensaver. I've posted this pic of me & Chels before, it's my favorite.

Day 8: Where I Shop - A close tie between Walgreens and iTunes

Day 9 - This Is The Weather Today - Seriously, what would I do without my iPhone?

December Photo A Day, Day 5 - In the Cupboard

For the December Photo Challenge, Day 5, here is a photo of what I have in the cabinet above the microwave. I put all my special glasses and stuff up here because it's so high up and kind of hard to reach.

This is, once again, a Chelsea photo. I can't help it! I'm laying down because it's been a migraine week, AND she is so much better at taking pictures than me. 

Look. I MADE her, so, it's almost the same as me taking them, right? HAHAHAHAHAHA LOL Okay, I know, not really...

If you look closely at the picture, you can see what my treasures are... Derby glasses, because, you know, where I live! Apollo space program glasses, because, you know, I'm a big geek. 

The most special of all are the painted wine glasses, those were done by my very talented daughter herself. She is ULTRA skilled at arty stuff.

That very noticeable pumpkin thing in the middle is NOT mine, I don't think. It's a communal special cupboard, apparently.

Tomorrow I swear I'm going to work and getting back in the game. My head isn't going to bother me any longer. I'm taking my life back. Well, I'm going to try.

December Photo A Day, Days 3 and 4 - Silver and Tiny

I swear, this was Chelsea's idea

So I yell for Chelsea to come here because I need help with my homework (obviously)...

Me: I want to combine two days to catch up, so I need something silver and tiny. Do you have anything silver and tiny?

Chelsea holds up one finger, turns on her heel, goes to her room, and comes back immediately. WITH A DIME.

A DIME.

When we got done laughing, I said well, okay, and then we took the picture.

Actually, Chelsea took the picture this time. I arranged my blanket (this is the awesome afghan my grandma made for me when I was little, isn't it beautiful?).

So yeah, wow, this picture thing is going great, right? LOL... Such fascinating pictures yall are getting out of me, LOL LOL!!!

December Photo A Day, Day 1 - Red

Chelsea the Impossibly Cool

I forgot all about doing December's Photo A Day thing, so this one is most likely cheating on several levels. It was my mom who actually took this picture, AND it was taken a few months ago, AND I think it's more reddish than red.

I will endeavor to do my homework myself, and on time, from now on!

Right now I'm just marveling that I've made two posts in one day. Hey, I might meet that blogging goal after all!

#epiphany #heywaitthisisnttwitter #ohnoimmixingmetaphors #ihaveanexcuseofcourse
#thatsrightyouguessedit #ivetakenmyambienalready

Night, yall! :)

I'm still looking up...

Comet McNaught above Ashburton, NZ, 2007

I probably should have written this before I took the Ambien, because now my eyes are shutting and what I had intended to write about is gone...gone to wherever Ambienesia thoughts and acts go to die.

I keep drifting off and coming back, I hope I don't Ambien-say something completely inappropriate.

(six hours later)

I'm awake now! And now I don't really remember even writing those first two paragraphs, but, ooookay...

I mean, I'm sure I wrote it. It's not like I think a ghost did it. Chelsea believes that there is a ghost or spirit or entity or whatever that lives in this apartment. 

She says she talks to it.

I try not to think too hard about things like that.

Hmmm...

6:30 a.m. on a Friday. I have to start getting ready for work. I PROMISE I'll be fully present this weekend.

It's just been very hard this week, you know, going to work every day and stuff. LOLOL

I'm cracking myself up. I guess you had to be there.

So...as not to make this a wasted entry, I'll leave you with this:

It's tomorrow! Are you ready?

I need freedom now...

NASA Cassini image of Saturn's rings and Earth and moon

That's us...the tiny blue dot in the lower right corner of the picture. We're the prettiest.

So, yeah.

I've totally forgotten how to blog like a normal person, since my mind has been trained to blog about songs.

Hmmm. 

Let's do current events: 

• I've been home from work so far this week with a migraine. Ouch. 

• Right now I'm watching my Cats play Michigan State. Again, ouch. Maybe we'll catch up in the second half.

• Ooh, now we're only down by 6...

• Chelsea made a Christmas stocking for our living room floor-sleeper who I'm not allowed to talk about anymore ever ever again. 

• The stocking is pink with white fur and pink sequins. It's truly impressive. I don't know where my daughter got her mad skills, because it's not from me. From my grandma, I guess.

It's occurred to me that if I blog every single day for the rest of the year, I will reach my 2004 blog post total. Can I do it?

Someone had better be shooting me some blogging ideas!

30 Songs in 30 Days, Day 2 - Your least favorite song

Day 2 of the 30 Day Song Challenge, and wow, talk about going from a high to a low! From my favorite to my least favorite song, hmmm...

I try not to dwell on bad things. When there's a song I don't like, I change the station. And really, there's not much I don't like.

But there's one song I hate hate hate hate hate, and I tried my hardest to come up with something else so as not to seem like a Grinch - but I couldn't, so here it is:

My least favorite song: FELIZ NAVIDAD.

Can't stand it. I don't know why. I don't understand why people like it, or why it gets so much airplay, or why it gets remade over and over. Why why why?

Every time Christmas season is upon us, I brace myself for the inevitability of this awful, terrible song.

(big sigh)

For some reason, Chelsea actually likes this song, especially the Glee version. I will admit the Glee version might be the least annoying of the five thousand versions of the song out there today.

So enjoy...if you can:

Let the moon follow me home...

It's widely known that I am a soft touch. I am incapable of saying no. If you ask for me something, I'll give it to you. If I see you need something, I'll share what I have. I am very easy.

So, in January, when Chelsea says, Best Friend's dad is kicking him out and he has nowhere to go, can he stay here for a couple days? Of course I said yes. It was cold, and he had nowhere to go.

Best Friend is still here. It's October. That's nine months he's been here.

NINE MONTHS.

Best Friend sleeps on the floor in the living room. When he wakes up, he sits up, gets on his computer, and, still sitting on the floor, plays on his computer all day until it's time to go to sleep. 

Best Friend does this every day. No job, no school, no cleaning, no cooking. I'm beginning to see why everybody keeps kicking him out.

In the meantime, it's been a struggle having to feed an extra person. He eats a lot.

He told me a couple of months ago he was transgender. But he never talked to me about it again. Chelsea calls him, her, except for when she forgets and calls him, him. But he didn't ask me to call him, her, or tell me a different name, and he dresses the same. But okay, past tense, he, present tense, her.

She's gotten into fights with Chelsea and threatened to leave, has even disappeared for a couple days, leaving Chelsea devastated. 

Best Friend is supposed to be on medication for schizophrenia but doesn't take it. She says she can't get a job because she has a record that needs to be taken care of but she doesn't have the money.

Dwayne is so upset over the situation he is beside himself. I didn't listen to him, you see. He wanted me to say no. He always wants me to say no. We'd be several thousand dollars richer if I could just say no. Well, past tense. Times are hard now and there's no more thousands or even hundreds to give away. :(

I don't want Best Friend out on the streets with nowhere to go. That defeats the purpose of her staying here all this time. I've tried to have talks with Best Friend about owning her life, self-sufficiency, and having a plan...but I don't think they've gotten through.

THE POINT IS, I really don't mind Best Friend being here...and that's the problem. It's not fair to Dwayne. It's not good for Chelsea. It's not healthy for me - I'm supposed to be working to get out of my bedroom and instead, I'm stuck in here because Best Friend lives in the living room.

I suspect there's something in my lease agreement stating Best Friends aren't supposed to stay overnight, indefinitely.

This may be silly, but the only thing that really worries me is Best Friend getting upset again, leaving one day, and leaving the door open, where my kitty can get out and get lost. Everyone else is upset over things I don't care about. I just want my kitty to be safe.

That's all. It's an unwinnable situation. It seems I truly have adopted a 22-year old child; one who will never work, clean or cook; and will apparently never leave.

Please, don't tell me how dumb I am, I tell myself every day. I guess I just felt like telling YOU. :)

I'm sure it'll all work out...

I thought I was someone else, someone good...

I tend to speak before I think.

A LOT.

That's why I usually don't talk in public. My mouth gets me in trouble.

Well, I also don't speak in public because of the crippling shyness...but I digress.

I made a terrible, awful faux pas at work today, which is going to involve me having to apologize to my boss.

(Hopefully I will not lose my job. I'm trying to stay positive.)

Dwayne has been warning me for years to watch myself at work, and now he's very manfully NOT saying I told you so.

He is, however, being his usual comedic self.

I asked him for advice on my big apology:

Dwayne: Blah blah blah "sorry" blah blah blah.

Me: Oh.

Dwayne: I know 'sorry' isn't in your vocabulary but I assure you it's a word - I've played it in Words With Friends. Let's practice, "I'm sorry," see, it doesn't hurt.

Me: Haha.

Dwayne: I'm serious you need to say it over and over to make it believable.

Me: OMG.

(pause)

Me: Okay. I'll practice.

It's true. To those who really know me, I'm insufferable. I HAVE to be always right. I HAVE to have the last word. I'm completely obnoxious. I very rarely admit I'm wrong. 

I'm a bad, bad person. I'm in for a long night of practicing my apology. Years of never saying 'sorry' have caught up to me.

Dwayne told me to practice on Chelsea, then he told Chelsea that Mommy has something to say to her.

I guess I will start with her.

Well, wait a minute, let me start right now.

I am sorry.

I will say the only words I know that you'll understand...

Tonight Chelsea and I watched the second Beatles episode of 'Glee'. She didn't know most of the songs featured, in either of the episodes, which shocked me a little. I mean, The Beatles broke up before I was born, too, so 'before her time' is not a good excuse!

But the big surprise came during the last song..."Let It Be".

Chelsea didn't know it.

I didn't believe it. I truly thought she was joking. She's twenty-one years old, and she doesn't know "Let It Be"?

I've sung that song to myself countless times, during the darkest hours of my life. I memorized the lyrics long ago, when I was eight years old and took my mom's folk/guitar book and never gave it back. Singing that song would ease an ache in my soul that I was too young then to recognize for what it was. It still helps me today.

I tried to bring my kid up right. We watched Star Trek. We watched UK basketball. We listened to Metallica. We listened to Dolly Parton. We watched Doctor Who. And I know, I know, I know that we listened to The Beatles.

Some things didn't stick, apparently. She won't even consider watching basketball now. She doesn't know a thing about Star Trek. The Beatles, I guess, were blocked right out of her mind.

This is what I would want someone who is open-minded, which is not my daughter right now, to know about The Beatles: 

• The lyrics to "Across The Universe" are probably the most beautiful, evocative and bittersweet you could find in a song. And also...hallucinogenic.

• The opening guitar sequence on "Revolution" is different from "I Saw Her Standing There", which is different from "I Want To Hold Your Hand". Every Beatles song is unique and instantly recognizable.

• Lennon & McCartney became a songwriting machine and the undisputed champions of the world. No one else can touch them. Not even Eminem. ... And the less glamorous Harrison and Starr contributed, too, most notably with "Here Comes The Sun" and "With A Little Help From My Friends" (well, Ringo actually just sang that, but still!).

12 albums, 10 years. It doesn't matter if you 'don't like The Beatles'. They came together for a time and did a magical thing. :) 

Can you imagine if there had been no Beatles?

Images of broken light

I hardly ever watch TV anymore.

I just lost interest, like I lost interest in everything else.

But that doesn't sound right, because I LOVE TV, just like I LOVE playing piano, and drawing, and all the other things I stopped doing.

But anyway, my TV stays off.

I do, however, have the first three seasons of Glee on my iPod.

Let me just say, I was there first. First episode, first season onward. I'd be watching the show, and I'd say, "Chelsea, come here, come here!"

And she'd come running, and then turn away in disgust when she saw it was Glee I wanted her to see.

Then, last year, the brat decided all of a sudden that the show was cool, she downloaded all my episodes and all my Glee CD's - don't start, I know I'm a Gleek - and pretended like she'd been a fan all along.

Whatever.

So now, of course, because I don't watch anything anymore, she knows more than me. I didn't watch the last part of Season 3 or any of Season 4. I know what happens, but I haven't watched it. I just can't.

Here's the bad part.

This summer I was telling my mother about Cory Monteith's death and how perfect he was on Glee and how much he'll be missed, and my mom says, "That sounds like a show I would like, let me take it home."

So my mom took my precious iPod, and didn't give it back for three weeks.

It gets worse.

When she picked me up every morning, she was watching Glee on the iPod, with her little headphones in. Then she proceeded to drive me to work. While she watched Glee. Okay... wait. While she hypothetically watched Glee.

So there I am, a terrified passenger, "Mom, PLEASE, put that away, it's illegal."

Here's Mom's logic, "No, texting and driving is illegal. I'm not texting. I'm only watching."

Three weeks this went on. Okay wait...three weeks this allegedly went on.

She just turned 61. You would think that would be old enough for some sense, right?

So finally, she stops bringing it in the car, and I want it back. Every day, I want it back. Every day, she says, 'Oh sorry...I was watching the Michael episode, I forgot.'

Three days in a row of that. You know, I feel very sorry for Dwayne. This flaky, forgetful, personality trait was handed straight down to all three of us from Moma.

No wonder he looks so frustrated when we get in the car 45 minutes late sometimes.

FINALLY I get my iPod back, but not without us watching the Michael episode one more time. It's Mom's favorite because they sing the Jackson 5 song 'ABC' which she loves, and my favorite because they sing Michael's 'Man in the Mirror' which I love.

And now Goodman 1 and Goodman 3 are badgering Goodman 2 to get season 4 downloaded so they can watch in full for season 5 starting this week.

But...but...I don't even watch TV anymore! Well, hardly ever. Well, okay I watched the Emmy's. I sold out.

But I'm cancelling my cable...bye bye TV...

Throwback Thursday...

This is me, my mom and my brother, looking extremely tanned for some reason. That must have been the year we went outside. 

This is little Johnny and little Michelle. I'm the one in a dress. Everyone calls my brother Johnny, except for me. My nephew's name is Johnny, too. Yep, I always have to clarify, "Wait, do you mean Big Johnny or Little Johnny?"

This is one of my senior high school pictures. When Dwayne and I started dating, I remember him pulling his wallet out and I saw this picture in there. It was five years after graduation! I didn't even remember giving that to him...but he carried it five years, waiting for me. 

Another graduation picture. This one doesn't look like me at all. They made a huge thing of it and took it on their mall tour. That was my 15 minutes. 

This is my mom and my grandma being absolutely adorable. Every picture I see of my grandma, my heart seizes a little, I miss her so much. 

And one last one, because I am never done talking about Chelsea or my kitty on this journal, here they are! Both very young, and with very different reactions to the snow...

Love you all...