Thursday, December 31, 2015

Hope that you spend your days and they all add up...

On August 17, 2015, I missed a day of work. It was due to illness.

The next day, I went in to work and said to Mark, "I think this is gonna be my last day."

Later that morning, my supervisor came and asked me to come with him, and we took a trip down to the second floor conference room. 45 minutes later, I was in my car and crying my eyes out. I had managed to lose my job of 19 years.

It's still taking some time for me to get over it. I got a new job in October and I'm so, so lucky to have gotten someone to give me a chance and hire me, but it was a real blow to my confidence. I learned, really learned, that I'm replaceable.


It's been a year. My dear Aunt Linda died, and my beautiful cousin drank herself to brain damage. I didn't get out of bed for a month after losing my job. I truly thought I wouldn't get through the pain, and I was terrified that I would lose myself to depression again.

But I didn't. I don't know how it happened. I managed to stick around and tough it out and I'm still here and mostly whole.

I stuck around long enough to find out my brother is in remission! I didn't realize how the worry was hanging over my head until I got the wonderful news. There are still blessings in the world.

Also, next week, I'm moving. AGAIN. This time, hopefully, I'm moving to my forever home.

And yesterday, we were finally, FINALLY told that Dwayne can get new knees. The doctors lagged on and on for years because he was too young. Sooo, there's at least one good thing about getting older! He's now 48 years old and soon may be able to walk again. 

Hope is a wonderful thing.

So, on this last day of the year, I'm grateful. I'm so grateful to have my job and my family and a roof over my head. Even though I lost family again this year, I'm ever so grateful to have had them in my life. 

I'm counting my blessings, and I'm thankful for possibilities.

Have a wonderful new year.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

How bad, how good does it need to get?


My name is Michelle and this is my blog.

I really love it here.

I may have given the impression that I DON'T love it here, seeing as how I've been gone about ten months. 

But I've been trying desperately to come back. It's like I was on the other side of myself, trying to break through to the real side where my life was. 

I have lots to talk about. When I dropped out of things here, it was initially because I went back to The Place, for about three months this time. Saw some old friends there from last time. Apparently multiple visits is a thing.

I moved in January, and then Dwayne got sick and was in the hospital for three months. 

And now I'm here and I feel like it's time to go back to my favorite mental health facility.

My doctor did change my medicine again a couple of weeks ago so hopefully my mood will change. I like to write hopeful posts, not hopeless posts!

I got more but I'm done boring you. Here's some fluffy notes of things I've liked this month:

1) Chuck (on Netflix): I haven't watched regular TV in years. This show is so great!
2) Leverage (on Netflix): Same thing. Awesome show!
3) Avengers: Age of Ultron: Great movie! Why watch any other movie when you can be watching something Avengers? 

I meant to put five but I forgot. Love you all, goodnight!