Hope that you spend your days and they all add up...

On August 17, 2015, I missed a day of work. It was due to illness.

The next day, I went in to work and said to Mark, "I think this is gonna be my last day."

Later that morning, my supervisor came and asked me to come with him, and we took a trip down to the second floor conference room. 45 minutes later, I was in my car and crying my eyes out. I had managed to lose my job of 19 years.

It's still taking some time for me to get over it. I got a new job in October and I'm so, so lucky to have gotten someone to give me a chance and hire me, but it was a real blow to my confidence. I learned, really learned, that I'm replaceable.

So.

It's been a year. My dear Aunt Linda died, and my beautiful cousin drank herself to brain damage. I didn't get out of bed for a month after losing my job. I truly thought I wouldn't get through the pain, and I was terrified that I would lose myself to depression again.

But I didn't. I don't know how it happened. I managed to stick around and tough it out and I'm still here and mostly whole.

I stuck around long enough to find out my brother is in remission! I didn't realize how the worry was hanging over my head until I got the wonderful news. There are still blessings in the world.

Also, next week, I'm moving. AGAIN. This time, hopefully, I'm moving to my forever home.

And yesterday, we were finally, FINALLY told that Dwayne can get new knees. The doctors lagged on and on for years because he was too young. Sooo, there's at least one good thing about getting older! He's now 48 years old and soon may be able to walk again. 

Hope is a wonderful thing.

So, on this last day of the year, I'm grateful. I'm so grateful to have my job and my family and a roof over my head. Even though I lost family again this year, I'm ever so grateful to have had them in my life. 

I'm counting my blessings, and I'm thankful for possibilities.

Have a wonderful new year.

I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve...

You know, I just looked at this picture and remembered that movie Lawnmower Man from a zillion years ago...I remember actually going to the dollar theater and seeing it with a friend of mine, back when we were in high school.

I'm so old.

That theater is now a Steak n' Shake, I think.

So weird, the stuff you suddenly remember out of nowhere. :)

My week has been filled with migraine, work, rehab place to visit my grandpa, moving boxes around my apartment, moving boxes around some more, migraine, migraine, work, migraine.

I also fit in some time to watch the MTV Movie Awards, read a little, tweet a little, play Legend of the Cryptids a little, and I felt terribly guilty THE WHOLE TIME.

And...I went to the basement by myself for the first time to wash clothes and nearly died on the stairs. It was dark, and I managed to miss the last step completely. Luckily, there was a wall right in front of me for me to smash into.

Staircases - I just don't do well on them, for some reason.

So...you know my co-worker Mark, right? The one who's now my landlord? Well, we're old cronies at work, we've sat next to each other for years...he's the one I bestowed my window seat to earlier this year.

We've worked in the same office at the same job for the last 15 years or so, and we're considered 'old-timers' on our team. We recently acquired a new person, who's been with the company maybe 7 or 8 months...and wow, I just don't know how we're going to break her in.

I've caught her several times asking our supervisor for MORE WORK. Then, I heard that she went and asked ANOTHER team's supervisor for more work. THEN, if that wasn't bad enough, I overheard her bragging about the fact that she had to go and ask for more work.

Oh, boy.

But the really funny, awful thing happened on Tuesday.

Tuesday, I was sitting at my desk, typing up an email, minding my own business, when I heard New Girl walk up behind me and start talking to Mark. So of course, I immediately ceased minding my own business and started listening.

New Girl: Hi Mark...
Mark (warily): Hi...
New Girl: Um, I was working on some of your accounts...

(Here's me, thinking, OMG, if you even so much as touch one of MY accounts I will END YOU!!)
(sorry...I have rage)

New Girl: And um...don't take this the wrong way...

(Here it comes, that phrase is never followed by anything good)

New Girl: But...WHAT do you DO all day?

(??? Oh no she didn't!)

New Girl: I mean, these are in such bad shape, some of them, and I was just wondering, why...

Mark, after being momentarily stunned into silence, very gracefully told her what he did all day, as he is the leader of our group and does all the things that we don't have to do.

Finally, New Girl left.

Seconds pass by, then, at the same time, Mark and I slowly scoot our chairs back until we can see each other behind the cubicle wall.

Gut-splitting laughter ensues.

We're trying to talk as we're gasping for air.

"Did you hear-"

"Did she just say-"

Finally, Mark gets it out...

"If she'd been one of us, I would have told her the truth.

"What do I do all day?

"AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE!"

This is the mantra of someone who has worked in the same job for years and years and years.

:)

Poor New Girl. It's not her fault she's new and gung-ho, but it IS her fault that she asked one of the rudest questions I've ever heard, and jokes have abounded in our pod the last couple of days about what we do all day.

Besides work, that is.

Miss you all...

:(

December Photo A Day, Days 13, 14 and 15 - Composition, Drink and Lights

More Photos for December:

Day 13: Composition - The building I work in, and the tree I like to gaze at during meetings (I think I took this in September)

Day 14: Drink - My drink is still Diet Pepsi

Day 15, Lights: My grandpa's tree...Chelsea took this picture today

I'd say more but I'm still recovering...The immediate care center gave me an antibiotic, and I'm actually taking it, that's how bad I feel. Well, felt - I am feeling better than I was.

So, okay, here's a thing - today was my great-aunt's birthday party (this is my grandma's sister). We were supposed to have her party last week but we had snow and ice so we had to reschedule. 

My aunt (my mom's sister) was in charge of bringing the birthday cake this time. So, when it's time to put the candles on, this is what she comes up with:

Do you see a giant piece of cake missing from the corner? Because I do.

We all stared at Aunt Sondra in disbelief, and she said, "What? I was stuck in the house with Alyssa all week, and the cake was going to go bad, so I gave her a piece. Just don't say anything about it and no one will notice."

NO ONE WILL NOTICE?

So this cake wasn't meant to be eaten, Aunt Sondra had bought another cake that wasn't a week old to actually eat. Why couldn't we put the candles on that?

I've mentioned before that my brother is completely obnoxious, AND that we're very much alike. In unison, we both said, "I don't care how old my cake is or how hungry you get, please don't EVER give me a cake with a piece missing out of it." LOL 

So that's all...my aunt is something else. She is my grandma multiplied by about a thousand. Audacious to the most outrageous.

My great-aunt Edie is the sweetest, gentlest soul in the world, so of course she didn't say anything about the missing piece. 

Dwayne loves to point out how sweet and gentle she is and what in the world happened to the rest of us.

December Photo A Day, Days 6-7-8-9 - Shadow; 6 O`Clock; I Shop Here; This Is The Weather Today

Friday's snow

I'm dreadfully behind and I've been dreadfully sick. I don't know if it's the flu. How can it be? I HAD A FLU SHOT. I worked two whole days last week. I'm still feverish and headache-y and nauseated and I'm so dehydrated and I can't get enough water.

And I'm full of things to talk about but my head is so heavy...I want to talk about Friday's ice and snow and the two and a half hour journey it took to get home and how we actually did get stuck going up our hill, it was pretty funny. 

Mark and I finally switched seats at work, and I love it. Except that I am closer to more annoying people talking so I need better headphones for my iPod. And I have less privacy, but I knew that going in. I didn't count on the annoying people talking part, though. The headphones can't come fast enough!!

I apologize for my sloppy blogging and blog-visiting...I am sure I will start feeling better this week. Pleeeeeease let me feel better this week...

Now on to December Photo A Day Challenge, Days 6-7-8-9:

Day 6: Shadow (Chelsea took this, because I had no idea what do do)

Day 7: 6 O`Clock - My phone screensaver. I've posted this pic of me & Chels before, it's my favorite.

Day 8: Where I Shop - A close tie between Walgreens and iTunes

Day 9 - This Is The Weather Today - Seriously, what would I do without my iPhone?

I wanna lay down in the falling snow...

Well...

Today I did the thing I never, ever thought I would do.

I volunteered to give up my desk by the window.

My beautiful sanctuary in the corner where no one bothers me - which I snagged by kind-of-underhanded-means years ago - has become my enemy.

See, my area already stands out in the office, because all the lights above my desk are out. I like it dark.

And the shades always remain shut.

And behind the shades, I have flattened cardboard boxes up against the window, to block any sunlight that might get in between the cracks.

And if any sunlight STILL tries to get in, I have taped up pieces of paper that I move periodically throughout the day as the sun moves...and sigh in relief every day after noon when it goes to the other side of the building.

But even after all that, today the sun still got through. It kept reflecting off the silver windowsill right into my eyes...

until finally, after the fourth or fifth time of knifelike pain, bam! A migraine was born.

I don't always make the most rational decisions when I'm in pain, trying to remain at work, and I've taken two Vicodin and a Flexeril. But I'm so sick of pain.

So I'm switching with Mark. He's deliriously happy to be moving desks for reasons I can't talk about in public. At least someone's happy.

Well, probably lots of people will be happy...they'll get to have sunlight again, and stuff.

Wow.

Having me in your office is kinda like having Death hanging around, if you think about it. Or, not Death...EEYORE.

I'm EEYORE.

I thought I was someone else, someone good...

I tend to speak before I think.

A LOT.

That's why I usually don't talk in public. My mouth gets me in trouble.

Well, I also don't speak in public because of the crippling shyness...but I digress.

I made a terrible, awful faux pas at work today, which is going to involve me having to apologize to my boss.

(Hopefully I will not lose my job. I'm trying to stay positive.)

Dwayne has been warning me for years to watch myself at work, and now he's very manfully NOT saying I told you so.

He is, however, being his usual comedic self.

I asked him for advice on my big apology:

Dwayne: Blah blah blah "sorry" blah blah blah.

Me: Oh.

Dwayne: I know 'sorry' isn't in your vocabulary but I assure you it's a word - I've played it in Words With Friends. Let's practice, "I'm sorry," see, it doesn't hurt.

Me: Haha.

Dwayne: I'm serious you need to say it over and over to make it believable.

Me: OMG.

(pause)

Me: Okay. I'll practice.

It's true. To those who really know me, I'm insufferable. I HAVE to be always right. I HAVE to have the last word. I'm completely obnoxious. I very rarely admit I'm wrong. 

I'm a bad, bad person. I'm in for a long night of practicing my apology. Years of never saying 'sorry' have caught up to me.

Dwayne told me to practice on Chelsea, then he told Chelsea that Mommy has something to say to her.

I guess I will start with her.

Well, wait a minute, let me start right now.

I am sorry.

My cube...no, really...

So, this is my desk at work. Doesn't it look cozy?

It has all the comforts of home: my astronaut, my kitty and NWF calendars, my UK stuff (Big Blue Madness is coming up and it'll be time to change out my poster-yay!), my diet Pepsi and of course my daughter and kitty pics. 

There's a weird thing about working in cubicle-land. We spend half of our awake time here, with our only reprieve the weekend. We spend more time with work people than we do with most of our friends and loved ones. 

If I need to remember something, I put it on my work calendar. If someone needs to email me something vitally important, I give my work email. I'm pretty on top of things at work. It's just the rest of the time that I'm such a disaster. 

I really love my job, my company and my co-workers, and it's really a dilemma. In the past couple years I've seen four of my friends get fired. FIRED! And these were all people with 20-25 years of seniority in the company. 

Granted, the firings were just. But now I'm so paranoid about everything I do, AND I look around at my friends and wonder, who's next?

(For the curious: 

Friends 1 and 2: Friend 1 borrowed a controlled substance. Friend 2 gave it back to her when she got her Rx refilled. ILLEGAL!, and this all happened on company property.

Friend 3: Missed work approximately 485 times in a 6-month period and got 484 warnings. That last time did her in. 

Friend 4: Her second job was as a realtor. Spent lots of time at work looking up listings, doing realtor stuff, etc., on company time. Big no-no.)

So yeah, I'm trying to be very good. 

I probably shouldn't be writing this at work. 

Oh my gosh, there's a bad person living inside me. 

I'M ON BREAK! I'M ON BREAK!

I have to go now...

Wish I was cool like this...

Dean, Sammy, Frank

Well, except for the cigarettes, of course. We must be politically correct.

I LOST MY COOL YESTERDAY. I was justified! But it was still very strange...I have the reputation for being laid back to the point of being dead. That's partly me, and partly very strong pharmaceuticals. 

But Thursday morning, my mom informed me my internet bill had gone from its usual $50 a month to $200 last month. Apparently SOMEONE in my house caused us to go over our limit by streaming stuff, and it wasn't me.

HINT: The culprit is daughter's best friend, sleeps on the living room floor and is on the internet 23 hours a day.

So I got to work, texted Chelsea, told her we would have to cancel the internet for a while, and wow, did things get going then. 

Texts from Chelsea. 

Texts from my mom. 

Texts to my mom. 

Texts to Chelsea. 

Approximately 800 phone calls from Chelsea. While I'm at work. On Thursday, our busiest day. 

At one point, and this is where I lost my cool, I raised my voice on the phone to a customer. I'm very ashamed. Even if she was a mean heartless bad word. 

So I'm telling my coworkers how I need my mom to call and cancel my internet and finally Mark says what apparently everyone's been thinking. 

"Michelle. It's your house. Your internet. You are paying for it. YOU can call and cancel it."

Oh. 

Oh. 

So I did. Right then. And it worked.

I actually accomplished something like a normal grown-up, like I used to be. 

I was really quite proud of myself, until I got home and realized I HAD NO INTERNET. 

So yay, I cut off the hemorrhage of money flowing directly into AT&T's coffers; but boooo, I'm typing this on little tiny keys on my iPhone. 

I have a different company coming out to install that doesn't have an internet cap, so we should be good now...except they won't be here until Monday. Labor Day. Really? Apparently that's a popular day to actually work, because of the overtime. 

That's all! I have no idea how this post looks because I'm on my phooooooone. No internet. No money, related to the no internet thing! NO COOL, because I lost it this week. 

I still have my kitty. She's cute. 

Michelle's Tales, Part Two, and I swear I am not making this bizarre thing up... I wish...

So, I'm at work the other day, and I get one of these emails about 'real people' who are dumb as rocks, and here's the story of one:

"Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift.

One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'

'Just use paper from the photocopier,' the secretary told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!"

Ouch.

Right through the heart.

How did my own personal story travel twenty years and who knows how many computers until it made its way back to my desk?

The lady who copied blank paper because she needed more paper…

That was me. First office job. Okay, being my regular self.

Someone must have heard me tell that story. I do not think I've ever written it down, have I?

Unless there’s ANOTHER person out there who did that besides me.

Surely not!!!????

In my defense, I was very young.

VERY YOUNG, OKAY?!

Michelle's Tales, Part One

This is a pretty close approximation to what my hair looks like.

So,
I was blow drying my hair before work in the fourth floor restroom in my building.  I do this every day.  (It saves time, it doesn't tangle my long curls, I have more room.)

To be fair, I am the only person I've ever seen do this, but on the other hand, I HAVE been doing it every day for years. 

On this particular day, someone took offense. 

I'd just finished drying and flipped my hair back, and realized someone was in there with me.

Here's what happened next:

Mean Lady: You can't be serious. 

Me: Huh?

(I've always been quick on the uptake.)

Mean Lady: You're not seriously DRYING YOUR HAIR in here. 

Me (looking around to see if she was talking to someone else): Um. 

Mean Lady: This is outrageous. That can't be sanitary. 

Me (finally catching up): Um, we're in the bathroom. 

Mean Lady: I'm going to report this!!!

And with that, Mean Lady stormed out of the bathroom. 

I took a moment to compose myself... I had genuine visions of ending up like TV's Dr. Green, being beat half to death in the bathroom in E/R. Then I strolled out to the elevator where, yay, Mean Lady was also waiting. 

We waited in silence, got on the elevator in silence, rode to my floor in silence, where I stepped off and never saw her again. 

I think of her though, still, over two years later, every morning when I blow dry my hair in that same fourth floor restroom.

(sigh) I'm still waiting for building management to come have me arrested. It takes just one person to ruin all your fun. :)

'Tis a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury...

Signifying nothing, right?

How many of these do you have rattling around in your head? At work, when I'm stuck in a meeting and the pretty tree outside the conference room just won't do, I run down the list:

Books of the Bible
States & Capitals
Countries of the world via their country code
All the Bible verses I can remember
Hamlet speeches
Macbeth speeches
Julius Caesar speeches
Canterbury Tales Prologue in Middle English
Declaration of Independence
Prologue to the Constitution
Gettysburg Address
Favorite poems (Updike, Dickinson, Thomas, Brooks...)
Lyrics to Metallica and Dolly Parton songs
and etc., etc., the list goes on.

I have so much useless information in my head, and I think all the time, what will I do when I lose it? When the Alzheimer's comes, or the drugs inevitably fry my brain...how will I cope with losing all that makes me, me?

I think we all have that fear, or, even worse, we fear we will lose ourselves and not even know we are gone.

What useless knowledge do you (hopefully) have embedded in your brain?

Tears for Flight 1354

I would say that today is one of the hardest days I've ever had to work.

It's hard to lose a coworker.

This morning, two of our pilots got on one of our planes for a 45 minute flight to Birmingham, and then they were gone.

Our management team wouldn't tell us anything beyond what they were telling the news, except they added to us: 'DON'T TALK TO THE MEDIA'.  So we had to watch the news all day, waiting for the names of the pilots.

It's just been a really bad day.

I'm sad.

The Cutthroat World of Michelle's Office

This is where I work. Honestly.

So, a few years ago, a 'friend' of mine at work went out on short-term disability. Don't be alarmed...she did this every year. Only this time, it dragged on, and on...

After eight months or so, her cubicle by the window started looking very inviting. This was a valuable commodity, just going to waste!

So, I claimed it.

This is how you get a desk by the window in my building - you have to be a little sneaky.

So when Kim very surprisingly came back after eleven months out, her stuff had been moved to a different desk. I was very, very apologetic.

She got in little digs, though, about my underhanded method of seat-acquisition, until she got fired a few years later.

I was sad she got fired, but kind of glad, too...I was one of her marks. You know, one of those people that other people who borrow money a lot go up to every week and say, do you have $20, $50, $100, I can borrow? She ended up owing me $1000's of dollars I'll never get back.

I kind of have lots of people out there who owe me money I'll never get back. I have a problem saying no. If I have it, I will give it.

But anyway, back to THE WINDOW.

Since I have moved to the cubicle by THE WINDOW, it has caused me so much grief, it's almost enough to make me want to move...almost, but not quite.

I like the shades DOWN. I have headaches. I don't want sunlight. It HURTS.

But then Mark comes in. He loves sunlight. He pulls the shades one-third of the way up.

I wait one minute, stand up, and pull the shades back down. I go downstairs, get my breakfast, come back up, and the shade's back up.

Mark is laughing.

'Michelle, can't we just have it up a little?'

'Well, I guess, but the glare will kill us, and the heat...what about waiting until the sun gets to the other side.'
'(sigh) Okay...' (This is said very sadly).

I don't know how any work gets done because of the window drama.

When it rains, the shades open because no one has seen rain before, ever.

When it snows, you might as well shut the computers off for the day.

When the window washers are out there, it's all over.  Same goes for when the roofers are working across the street.

And there's always catty remarks from people who want to sit there...They say, 'Well if I sat there I'd have the shades up...she doesn't deserve that seat!'

And I'm thinking very uncharitably, it is so hot over here by the window and you already have hot flashes, no way could you last over here... I try to nip that unkind thinking in the bud but it sneaks out before I can stop it.

Apparently I'm really not that nice.

So that's where we are now.

I work in cubicle-land, where I send very nicely-worded emails all day to people in the US and Canada and the UK and India and the Philippines for the international brokerage side of my large shipping corporation. I avoid making calls as much as possible, EMAILS ARE SO MUCH BETTER!!!

And I LOVE where I sit, in the corner, with a window on one side, where no one can really see me, and I'm hidden away.  Except for when people come to look out the window when it rains, or it's windy, or it snows...sigh...

Friday. Weekend. Still employed. For now.

I actually can't believe I made it 40 years before I was finally the subject of gossip...finger pointing...whispered conversations...

Actual long drawn out made up falsehoods about me started circulating work last week while I was out and seemed to get even worse after I got back.

Ever had conversations stop as you walk by?

Wow.

If I wasn't on three different anti-anxiety medications I probably would have taken it with a lot less zen.

I just don't want to be fired for real now, and make the gossip come true.  

Forgot about the loss of income - I just don't want these people to think they were right!

So glad it's almost midnight...

Father's Day.  Bah, humbug, I'm very glad it's over. 
Okay, my morose moment is over, too...
Went and saw 'Batman Begins' last night...I loved it!  Batman's always been my favorite...he's just your average emotionally disturbed human, like all of us are (except for that whole billionaire thing...) - ANYONE can be Batman!

(Except for that billionaire thing, again...Batmobiles don't come cheap...)
:)
Took my daughter with me to work on Friday for 'Take Your Kid to Work' Day - she had a great time!  She sat next to me at my desk, and for about half the day sketched pictures and generally had no interest in my job at all.
Probably because all I do is sit in front of the computer all day...she can see me do that at home! LOL!
Then she went in the breakroom and read her book and watched TV ('Lizzie McGuire', of course...), until we left for the day.
SHE says she worked hard all day, because she 1) stapled some things for me, and 2) got some things off the printer for me.  She told me today she wants to work where I work when she gets older.  I'm thinking she's imagining work being like Friday, where you go and draw and read and watch TV and get paid for it!
Doesn't that sound like a wonderful job?!  She's definitely on to something...

I hope this Thursday will be better than the last...

Work...last Thursday...
Supervisor called a meeting...
Passed around an anonymous letter she received about one of us, accusing one of us of unethical behavior, stealing company time, etc...
Wow.  Talk about a huge downer in the workplace.
Nobody (except our supervisor) knew who the letter was about, or who it was from. 
It's been a horrendous week since then.  Everyone feeling guilty, even those who are not...everyone wondering who wrote the letter, and no one trusts anybody anymore.  Not to mention expecting to be cut off/terminated/booted out at any moment.
It's kind of like we're on Survivor.
Next week is 'Take Your Kid to Work', and my daughter has been looking forward to it all year, after the fun she had last year.  SURELY the awfulness will be over by then...please please please...
I seriously need a day off!

I love this world, even when I'm extra tired...

I've been out for a few days and now I have 180,000 alerts to get to.
I got a good start tonight, but it's almost 2 a.m. and I'm losing steam...I have to work in the morning...
I earned a promotion at work (yay!) which means now I'm making more money (yay! yay!) but it also means that I'm the one who's expected to handle T's special accounts when she's out on disability next month.
So I've been training on these accounts for the past week and work isn't NEARLY as fun as it used to be!  I hate training on new things...accepting change isn't one of my strengths, AT ALL.
huh...
I was going to write something about my struggle with my checkbook today and how I finally was victorious and BALANCED it...
but I just now fell asleep in my chair.
sheesh...
G'night...

Living today...

Do you ever let a day go by and realize that it held no meaning? What did I do today? I don’t know…
My daughter was sick again this morning and couldn’t go to school, so my aunt came over and stayed with her and I went in to work late. What did I do? I tried to make sense of work…I haven’t worked a full day in so long, there’s piles and piles of paperwork and emails and voicemails and faxes to work on…but that’s okay, I love a challenge…
One of my co-workers asked me for help on a problem and then broke down and cried at her desk…I hugged her, commiserated, and offered her a game plan…
I went on break early so that I could go to the bank, and to the radio station to pick up my free movie tickets, and to get some gas, and while I was out I got something to eat, and I read some of my book…
I reluctantly went back in to work, called my daughter’s doctor, emailed my professor and let him know I wouldn’t be at school tonight…and continued working…
At about four o’clock, I went into the bathroom at work and stood at the sink…with the worst headache in the world…and I looked absolutely haggard. I leaned on the sink and ran some cold water and held my hands underneath it, thinking for some reason that it would help…
It didn’t help my headache, but it did succeed in making a few of my co-workers think that I’m even more strange than they already thought…also, it made my hands nice and cold and tingly…
When I finally left work, it was dark, and cold, and beautiful, but I was unaffected…I came home…what did I do? Talked to my daughter…nagged her to do her homework (big argument there – I had her call and get her assignments so she wouldn’t be behind when she went back to school…) and straighten up the bathroom…tucked her in bed. Mainly, I just read and finished my book.
So…here I am, at the end of the day, and I didn’t really do anything. Nothing meaningful, nothing deep…no lasting conversations…nothing happened that really meant anything. I wasted a whole day.
I was so tired today, working on about three hours of sleep. Can I blame nothing-ness on being tired? There’s no excuse…
I have to try harder, to LIVE.

Last day...

It's my last day of work until 2005...yay!  I've been waiting for this day since...um...July, I think, when I used up the last of my vacation days...they start all over again in January.
How's this for a New Year Resolution?  I WILL NOT USE ALL MY DAYS TOO QUICKLY!
I have a real problem...it's called, if I have a day off available, I WILL USE IT! What else is it for!? LOL...
So, off to work I go...last night when I came home, I got stuck coming into my driveway...it's been above freezing and melting the foot of snow which isn't as good as it sounds, because now there's no traction, hence, my getting stuck...
I ended up parking half in my grandparent's driveway and half on the sidewalk, that's as far as I could go, so hopefully I won't get stuck trying to get out today...
HI HO!

Being normal...

I didn't go to bed last night until about 2 a.m. ... I had my alarms set for 6 a.m. ... I woke up (I thought) without my alarm and enjoyed a few seconds of smugness, as in, "Ha! I didn't even need my alarm clocks today!", before I realized that I didn't feel the least bit tired and that there was a gray light shining through my windows.
!#$%^&!!!  I overslept!
:(
I knew that I'd be out of sorts the rest of the day. I hate that!  I got my daughter to school late, and she forgot her binder...I had to run out the door to work without blow drying my hair...when I got to work, I realized I had forgotten my daily meds (you know, the ones that keep me sane and pain-free), and, even worse, I didn't have my book to read during my lunch!
And plus, it was doing that cold, rainy, drizzle thing all day.
But, thankfully, I survived the day.  After my hair dried, I went to the bathroom and combed it (it went from long tangly curls to long frizzy curls, but that's okay...).  I had some emergency pills in my purse, not quite as effective but at least they got me through the day...as did the emergency books I had in my car...
I went to the gym tonight...my daughter came with me, climbed the rock climbing wall, did her homework in the teen room and then went swimming while I worked out. Being as it was cold and drizzly and 8:30 p.m., she was the only one in the pool, but she insisted!
Hadn't been to the gym in a while, since I suddenly got busy-er than I was before...so at first tonight my body hated me, and my mind was saying, "Please walk out now!"...but then after I finished my cardio, my body was saying, "Thank you! Thank you!", and my mind was saying, "I am so proud of you, Michelle, now get to that strength training!". Woo-hoo, I love going to the gym...a year ago I would NEVER have thought I would say that!
ANYWAY, I finished strength training, retrieved my daughter from the pool, and as we walked to the car I thought, "Wow, we did some normal things..."  Last night, she went to the skating rink, and I dropped her off and picked her up...and tonight, we did all these activity-things...  It feels like lately with all the worries and the doctor visits and the counselors and the issues and the dramas we've forgotten to do just 'normal' things.  Like venturing out...
It feels really, really nice, kind of like a big accomplishment.  I think it is...
:)