Thursday, March 31, 2005

Miscellany...

No school tomorrow for my daughter...it's the first day of spring break.  So she is spending the night at her best friend's house.
So what did I do on my big Thursday night out with no responsibilities, not a care in the world?
I got off work, came home, and took a nap.  D called and woke me up twice.  He didn't come over because he has to work at the crack of dawn tomorrow... The second time he called and woke me up, I gave up, got up, and went into the kitchen.  I was starving...no one but me to fix dinner for...I fixed a can of ravioli and ate at the table while studying my laptop. 
And once I finished my ravioli, I signed off my laptop in there and came and got on my computer in here (my bedroom).
My life is obviously very, very sad, when there's no daughter around to fill it up!
But at least I got to eat ravioli.
LOL! Okay, I'm done now...I really did have about a million other things I could have done, but the prospect of having an evening where I did absolutely nothing but sleep and whatever else I wanted was too good to pass up...I would have turned the phone off but I was afraid my daughter would call so I couldn't...no phone really would have been the perfect evening!
NEWS OF THE WEEK:
1.  I took C to the ear doctor this week and she is healed!  Even the hole the doctor had seen has healed up...the doctor was amazed, she wanted to know what else we had done at home because she had been sure that we were going to need additional medicine and/or surgery.  As it is now, she goes back in two months for another check up.
I am just so thankful that this day is here...more than five months later, she is finally free of all that infection and pain.  Thank you thank you thank you...
2.  I am going to New York in less than two weeks and I have nothing to wear...
3.  Saturday evening, D bought me a present for the trip.  Yes...he took the hint...I can't BELIEVE he took the hint but then again I've never gone to NYC before...
I am now the proud owner of an iPod shuffle! Yay!
It only took me two days to figure out how to make it work with my computer, but it's oh so cool...
4.  After the good news about my daughter, I was on a wave of relief that lasted for approximately one day...then my mom told me that she has to go see an oral surgeon about a spot on her tongue...and then my grandpa's outpatient surgery on his nose that was scheduled for tomorrow was cancelled this week due to his heart rate being extremely low (40 instead of 80 where it's supposed to be) and he instead had to go see a cardiologist and is taking a stress test tomorrow...and my aunt has a place on her pancreas that the doctors are looking at...
What in the world?  I kind of felt like, sheesh, get rid of one worry, pick up three more...but I'm refusing to worry about it.  Breaking news today from the cardiologist was that my grandpa's low heart rate may be due to some medicine that he's been taking, so hopefully that's that and once he weans himself off it he'll be fine.  And God and the doctors will take care of my mom and my aunt and there will be no problem...I mean it!
5.  And now, to end on a positive note...you should be here in Louisville to feel how excited my city is about being in the Final Four this year, for the first time since 1986!  Pep rally downtown yesterday at Fourth Street Live...16,000 people attended it!  Even most...some...die-hard Kentucky fans are excited about it!  Go Cards...
(sigh)
I'm really missing my daughter...I'm sure SHE'S having all kinds of fun...here's the current background to my desktop, my daughter made it for me a couple of weeks ago...
Picture fromHometown
Good night!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Easter...

I had a rough time getting out of the house on Easter morning...any other Sunday, I get to church on time (well, my usual five minutes late for Sunday School, no problem), but this Sunday...well...
I know what the problem was.  I usually just wear my work clothes to church...dressy casual dark slack-type clothes, and my black Skechers, of course!  I've gotten used to being the only woman at my church who doesn't wear dresses, I hardly even notice it any more. 
But my grandmother bought me this lovely purple skirt and jacket-type thing for my birthday, that's been hanging in my closet ever since, that she begged for me to wear at least for Easter, before it's relegated back to my closet with all my other lovely skirts and dresses that my grandmother has bought me...
So that was the problem.  I know it took me twenty minutes to figure out how the stupid skirt went.  It had TWO slits in the front, when I finally figured it out...whoever heard of that?!
When I finally emerged from my bedroom, all dressed and grumpy and purple, D laughed and laughed when I told him about my skirt confusion.  I think his exact words were, "You girly-girl, you...".  It's a good thing he also told me how nice I looked!
But after the rough start, Easter settled down into a good day.  What's a little skirt grumpiness compared to the magnitude of what this day means to Christians like me?
It was also my grandma's birthday.  After church, the whole family went to my grandma's house for dinner.  Then C and I, and my cousin, made Easter eggs.  After that, things are a little hazy because I fell asleep on D's knee in the family room, but I vaguely remember the kids having their Easter egg hunt inside (it rained outside all Easter long).  Then my grandma opened presents, we had birthday cake, and we watched the Kentucky game,
insert big sad :( here, nothing worse than fighting through two overtimes and still losing...but I'm still so proud of my team...I love my Cats!...
I was sitting around the table with my mom, and my grandma, and my aunt, and my cousin, and my daughter...everyone else was in the family room or the living room or elsewhere...and my grandma boasted about how she still had her eastern Kentucky accent...and my mom and my aunt said, no, not like you used to, and then they all started talking over each other in this old language...the language they all had forty years ago when they still lived in the mountains of eastern Kentucky.
I just remember feeling so lucky, sharing amused glances with my daughter and my cousin, that we all shared a moment like that, together, in 2005.  Every holiday seems like a precious gift, to make just one more memory with your family.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

It's 3 a.m. ...

I'm sure that tomorrow I'll regret this whole staying up thing...but tonight my team made it to the Elite Eight (yay!) along with Louisville (yay!) and I was on a 'my team won' high...and my daughter spent the night at my grandma's and something about her not being here makes me not want to go to sleep...it's just different without her in the house!
I'm trying desperately to fight the urge to buy an IPOD before I go on my trip to New York.  While we were watching the game tonight, I virtuously offered D the chance to buy me one of the newer, cheaper IPOD Shuffles (because one of their handy commercials came on...), but he just laughed at me...he feels that I have a problem.
Which is entirely possible.  I'm a single mom, I work 40 hours a week, I go to school (or I did before I dropped this semester), I go here, I go there, yet every night after my daughter is in bed I still find time to feed my book/music/book/TV/book/movie/book habit, not to MENTION computer time...
My name is Michelle, and I guess I'm an entertainment junkie.
(whew) There, I've said it!
Okay, the confession took a lot out of me and I'm finally getting tired, I'm going to bed now...good night!

Friday, March 25, 2005

Campaign time...Go Cats!...

Remember the very nice guy (my supervisor's son) in Lexington who checked a book out for me at the University of Kentucky Library, not knowing who I was or whether he could trust the crazy girl from Louisville to get the book back there before it was overdue?
Well, he is a sophomore at the engineering school and is running for Mr. UK, representing his fraternity...will you go vote for him?
Vote for Drew Stinnett...here...
Thanks! I think he definitely deserves to win, don't you?
p.s. I actually got the book back three days late...but I paid the fine while I was there!

Monday, March 21, 2005

Is there anything besides this?...

March Madness (noun) -
1.  The annual college basketball tournament to determine the NCAA champion.
2. A state of mind associated with the NCAA Championship Tournament.
Symptoms are: desire to watch basketball games until 1 a.m.; compulsion to read every word of the sports section; and temptation to participate in office pools.
Help! I have all the symptoms...was there anything besides college basketball going on this weekend? 
Well, not really, not where I live...the city, and, I'm sure, the state, came to a dead stop Saturday evening when my team played (GO BIG BLUE!)
No one knows what it's like to be caught up in the madness, until you visit Kentucky during basketball season and become infected...it's not a game, it's a religion!
I did manage to tear myself away from the TV a few times this weekend, though...we went to the Macaroni Grill Friday night...my mom called and asked if we wanted to meet her there, and having just been reminded by Angel of how nice it is (what a coincidence!), we had a very nice time...AND I got to draw pretty pictures on the table, that's always a plus!
I took my daughter to the Y Saturday morning, treadmill, strength training (me), rock climbing wall (her! not me!)...then we went to see 'Because of Winn Dixie' at the movies Saturday and was VERY pleasantly surprised at how good it was!  We loved it!  I had avoided going to see it because, you know, it's a 'dog' movie...but no sad ending for this movie, it was all good...
So can we talk about basketball some more? I know I'm a girl and this isn't a sports journal and I never talk about the fact that I watch every single Kentucky game, and that I record every single Kentucky game, every year, in case it might become a classic (e.g. the UK v. LSU 'Mardi Gras Miracle' that I DO have on tape because, yes, I recorded it!)...and I know that I'm actually a Louisville grad and they are also still alive in the tournament (yay) but it's not a conflict at all, I'm glad Louisville wins but I DIE if Kentucky loses...and how about that West Virginia-Wake Forest game? Wasn't that good? Two overtimes...take that, Wake Forest, I don't want to hear anymore whining about how come you were not a number one seed...Texas Tech still in it, I wonder if the players are afraid of Bobby...one last observation about Kentucky, three of the head coaches in the Sweet Sixteen this year are or have been Kentucky's head coach (Tubby, Slick Rick, and Eddie Sutton...pretty rare, if that's even ever happened before...and, okay, one last GO BIG BLUE!
Anyway, I just finished reading a Great Book, Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk...I know that there's a movie out based on it but I've never seen it, but the book was first and it is awesome!  I finished reading it today and immediately started rereading it, which is always a good sign...
I think that's all for now, because I have to go and put some clothes in the dryer and more in the washer...I'm so hungry because I didn't get to have supper tonight, I got home from work and my daughter begged me to take her to the skating party so I had to turn around and go back out...there's poor hungry parents all over town tonight, probably, like me, who were stuck at the skating party with only the prospect of stale chips and candy bars for dinner, whatever was sold at the skating rink...but she had lots of fun, and me sitting at the skating rink for two hours...well, that's how I had two full free hours to finish my book!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Well, at least I don't have to worry about THAT anymore...

Why do people put their big huge trash cans in the middle of the road?
Why does my mom have to call me first thing in the morning as I'm taking my daughter to school?
Why am I such a terrible driver?
(sigh)
The latest episode of Michelle's Mishaps on the Road occurred yesterday morning, when I tried to do more than one thing at a time, and answered the stupid cell phone to talk to my mother as I was driving my daughter to school...
I heard a big THUD...
And my very helpful daughter informed me that I had hit that trash can that was in the middle of the road...
OOPS!...
Then she asked me if that meant we had seven years of bad luck...
WHAT?...
I looked over to where my sideview mirror...USED to be...now it's gone...
Goodbye, mirror.
That was some major trash can!
My helpful daughter then proceeded to tell everyone she knew, all day long, about the funny thing that happened on the way to school that day...
The other person in the car...(that would be me)...hasn't quite arrived at the 'funny' part yet...I'm still stuck at the 'mortified' part...and the 'expensive to fix' part...and the 'she can't grow up and get her license soon enough so she can drive me around town because anything is better than this!' part!
But I've always worried about getting too close to things on that side, and hitting a mailbox or something with my mirror...so at least I don't have to worry about that anymore!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Good news and alternate news...

Yesterday was both much better than I expected, in some ways...but the news we got from the doctor wasn't as glowing as I wanted!
Her surgery was at the Children's Hospital, which we've never been to before...and now I refuse to go anywhere else!  Is is made especially for children, and it's all about making them comfortable, easing their fears, etc.  It was perfect!  The last time she had to get an IV she cried and cried...but yesterday, she barely knew it was happening, the RN doing it was so good.  AND they let her take Purr (stuffed kitty) back into surgery with her...they even gave Purr a matching hospital bracelet to go on her paw, with her name on it!  My daughter was thrilled by that one...
The doctor came out after the surgery and let us know that there were layers of layers of gunk that she hadn't expected...and that she found a tiny hole on the edge of the graft (that had repaired the previous hole)...and lots of granulation tissue (whatever that is, I didn't think to ask so now I'll have to remember to ask at the follow-up appointment!).  As she's not sure that the infection's completely gone, C will have to take eardrops for five more days, and oral medicine for another week, and then go back in for a checkup, and then they'll see if the tiny hole is still there...and if it is, she may need additional surgery to repair that.
And wow, we were NOT expecting to hear 'additional surgery' yesterday, that really bummed us out for a while...
So then we brought her home and she laid in bed for the rest of the day and we waited on her hand and foot, because the nurses at the hospital told her that we would (Thanks, nurses, I appreciate that! LOL)...
At the hospital, a whole troop of our family was there, me, and D, my mom, and my grandparents, and our preacher from church...
And when we got home, phone calls from my brother, my aunt, and her friends, checking on her...
And a balloon bouquet from my friends at work arrived at the door for her - that was thrilling!  She also came out of this with the new 'Incredibles' DVD (D bought that for her...).
I'm very grateful to have such a support system of people who love my daughter, it means so much to me.
p.s. As for how she's doing now...she was very pale the rest of the day...so pale it really had us worried and we kept trying to push food down here so as to get our rosy-cheeked girl back...she cried and cried last night with the eardrops, which the doctor had told us to expect they would sting a little...she's also having some bloody drainage which really freaked her out but she's a lot better now after I talked her down...this morning she was MUCH better, still a little wobbly-legged but back to rosy cheeks, no drainage, no fever, and so I sent her off to school.  She's doing great!

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

It's a beautiful day, so far...

Today is hospital day!  I've been so nervous about this day for weeks, and now that today is here, I'm perfectly calm...the nerves seem to have finally caught up with my daughter, instead!  She's been assuring me for weeks that today was "no big deal"...but last night and this morning she's REALLY started to get nervous...maybe only one of us can be nervous at a time!
I'm dreadfully behind I'm on my journaling, I'm kind of hoping I'll get a chance to do it today after we get back home and I get her tucked safely into bed...
She's wondering if she can take her "Purr" (stuffed kitty) into surgery with her...I've assured her I'll keep Purr safe until it's over, and then she'll have her in recovery...
Now I'm going to go get in the shower and get ready for our trip downtown and only envisioning best case scenarios today!

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Darkness? ...

or, as the name of the Douglas Adams book: "The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul"...
Suddenly there's secrets back in my life, and I don't like it at all...I had secrets from long ago, of course...things I did when I was young and stupid that I wouldn't want discussed and that the people who know me today would never believe of me anyway.  But since I became, you know, a grown-up...or so I thought...I thought I'd be living my life without the need for deception.  Wrong! 
And I'm so !#$%^ tired it's hard to identify exactly where things have gone wrong so I can fix the problem...I definitely need a clear head for this one!
I don't know if it's secrets exactly...maybe distance, or a wall...I need sleep to figure it out...or maybe lack of sleep is the cause of the problem!
I bought my daughter's medicine again...because it was so close to the last time, the insurance wouldn't pay for it even though I explained we lost it.  So I had to pay for it in full...$120+...I'm keeping it under lock and key!  Very expensive, but well worth it.  She's doing wonderful at school and at home now...she's doing things like carrying on conversations with people, and studying and doing homework, stuff she just wasn't capable of before.  I feel so dumb for not realizing sooner that her other medicine had stopped working.  Dumb...
Every night I walk outside and I wish that I could see more than just the handful of stars that we see...it's always followed by the thought that there are those who've never left the city and have never seen the REAL night sky, alive with stars and dominated by the Milky Way...those of us who know it's there, even if we can't always see it, are very lucky...
Beauty like that stays in our hearts and our minds, even when we don't physically see it anymore. 
Last thing tonight! or rather, this morning! Quiz I found in Angel's journal, which was first in Anna's journal...
Picture from Hometown  
Your inner soul is calling for help!  You always seems so depressed, lonely, and feel like an outsider.  You may have a cold, sad exterior, but in all reality you are hurt inside and are bottling up all of your anger.  Everyday you wonder why are you still here when there is nothing left?  You used to once be a happy, loving soul, but it was damaged by 'them' and seems like it never can be fixed again.  However, you have yet seemed to realize that there are people out there that deeply care for you.  They secretly have a thing for you because they find you to be dark, mysterious, and full of secrets, not to mention being the prettiest person in the world!  You like to enjoy your time by yourself expressing your feelings through forms of art, and enjoy nice quiet sceneries that just dazzle your mind with awe.  Your bedroom is basically your sanctuary where you can hide out, hidden from those who gave you all of the pain.  Try to loosen up and have some fun!  Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your smile :)   
 What is your inner soul trying to say? brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, March 7, 2005

It got just warm enough...

to bring the stupid crickets back to life, I guess...I encountered the first cricket of the year in my kitchen tonight.
My daughter helped me.  She brought the spray stuff to me, and then the shoe so that I could make sure the cricket was really, really dead.  I tried to get her to do that part, but she refused.
I've detailed my cricket trauma previously, here...
It's supposed to get cold again tonight, but it's too late now! They're awake and coming after me...
I. HATE. CRICKETS.
Maybe I'll post something happier later, when I get over this cricket depression...
Good night.
:(

Sunday, March 6, 2005

Hello, world...

I wonder how a week goes by and I don't write in my journal...especially when every day something happens and I think, "I must remember to write this in my journal!"...but by the time I get here I'm just. so. tired.
The visit to the pediatrician went very well this week, my daughter was prescribed a different dose than what she is taking now, and it made a huge wonderful difference in her behavior Wed. - Fri. when she took the medicine...but by Saturday, the medicine bottle had disappeared...
That's what it's like to be us, things just...disappear...
So now I have to call the doctor Monday morning and humbly ask him to write out another prescription.
I spend a lot of my life being humble due to mistakes being made, things being lost, etc.  It's a learned skill that I didn't used to have, but I've since developed it quite well over the years!
It looks as if the New York trip is ON, since I sent the money in on Friday...so I guess we're going!  Manhattan in April...just me and my daughter...wow...I'm so SCARED! 
I'm sure there was much more I was going to talk about, but since I'm falling asleep in my chair I'm going to wrap up this pitifully small entry and hope to do better later...after sleep...I'm always chasing after sleep and never seem to catch it!