Let the moon follow me home...

It's widely known that I am a soft touch. I am incapable of saying no. If you ask for me something, I'll give it to you. If I see you need something, I'll share what I have. I am very easy.

So, in January, when Chelsea says, Best Friend's dad is kicking him out and he has nowhere to go, can he stay here for a couple days? Of course I said yes. It was cold, and he had nowhere to go.

Best Friend is still here. It's October. That's nine months he's been here.

NINE MONTHS.

Best Friend sleeps on the floor in the living room. When he wakes up, he sits up, gets on his computer, and, still sitting on the floor, plays on his computer all day until it's time to go to sleep. 

Best Friend does this every day. No job, no school, no cleaning, no cooking. I'm beginning to see why everybody keeps kicking him out.

In the meantime, it's been a struggle having to feed an extra person. He eats a lot.

He told me a couple of months ago he was transgender. But he never talked to me about it again. Chelsea calls him, her, except for when she forgets and calls him, him. But he didn't ask me to call him, her, or tell me a different name, and he dresses the same. But okay, past tense, he, present tense, her.

She's gotten into fights with Chelsea and threatened to leave, has even disappeared for a couple days, leaving Chelsea devastated. 

Best Friend is supposed to be on medication for schizophrenia but doesn't take it. She says she can't get a job because she has a record that needs to be taken care of but she doesn't have the money.

Dwayne is so upset over the situation he is beside himself. I didn't listen to him, you see. He wanted me to say no. He always wants me to say no. We'd be several thousand dollars richer if I could just say no. Well, past tense. Times are hard now and there's no more thousands or even hundreds to give away. :(

I don't want Best Friend out on the streets with nowhere to go. That defeats the purpose of her staying here all this time. I've tried to have talks with Best Friend about owning her life, self-sufficiency, and having a plan...but I don't think they've gotten through.

THE POINT IS, I really don't mind Best Friend being here...and that's the problem. It's not fair to Dwayne. It's not good for Chelsea. It's not healthy for me - I'm supposed to be working to get out of my bedroom and instead, I'm stuck in here because Best Friend lives in the living room.

I suspect there's something in my lease agreement stating Best Friends aren't supposed to stay overnight, indefinitely.

This may be silly, but the only thing that really worries me is Best Friend getting upset again, leaving one day, and leaving the door open, where my kitty can get out and get lost. Everyone else is upset over things I don't care about. I just want my kitty to be safe.

That's all. It's an unwinnable situation. It seems I truly have adopted a 22-year old child; one who will never work, clean or cook; and will apparently never leave.

Please, don't tell me how dumb I am, I tell myself every day. I guess I just felt like telling YOU. :)

I'm sure it'll all work out...

So show me family...

We're going through tough times here in the Ville, and I guess they could be linked directly back to me and my migraine.

My migraine and I missed a day of work this week (unpaid), and my migraine and I missed a day and a half of work last week (unpaid). We've really been spending a lot of time together, my migraine and I.
A 20%+ reduction in my paycheck every week is enough to freak my accountant out, and she doesn't have the benefit of nice calming anti-anxiety pills like I do.

And so every day when she picks me up and takes me to work - my accountant is also my morning chauffeur, who also happens to be my mother - I have to hear in full detail about my money problems and how I don't make it easy on her and if I keep it up I'll just have to move back in with her, and she doesn't take cats.

We can't ever ever let that happen, of course. Because 1) I love my mother, but living with her was really awful!, and 2) I love my kitty, and I could never give her up!

Things were much better before Dwayne got laid off, and then his RA got so advanced. He's still waiting for his disability hearing. He has to use canes, walkers, wheelchairs...it's shocking how much it has progressed in two years, and he's only 45. My grandpa, who is 83 and had brain surgery seven months ago, can still make it across the room faster than Dwayne can. I don't understand how he still hasn't been approved...it's a mystery.

The other thing is that I'm kind of supporting me, Chelsea and her best friend until they get jobs. Chelsea had a job but quit to go to school but then sat out a semester so now she has no job and no school but she is looking for a job now until school starts back. Her best friend was kind of kicked out by his family and had nowhere to go so I said he could stay here until he got a job and found somewhere to go.

I won't mention how long he's been here. Let's just say maybe our Christmas decorations were still up.

I'm kind of his mother figure now. He came out to me yesterday as transgender. So now I have to call her, her. And she.

I had noticed that she had pretty nail polish on her toes for a few weeks now, but you know me...I see something, I think, oh, and then it's gone. IT'S MICHELLE'S WORLD.

I don't know how easy it may be for her job hunting as obviously trans, because she has a deep voice still. I know that Louisville has the Fairness Act, but can employers find ways around that? I'm just worried about her, this is a great town but it isn't New York or San Fran where she might have more help available.

But she has me! Even though we're very low on funds, we have lots of love! And we have, you know, the internet.

p.s. My migraine and I will be going to work together from now on. We will no longer be staying at home. Even if I go and just sit there at my desk in silent death, I will get up and go. So I can bring home that $150/day.

Unless I won the lottery tonight, I'll be sure to let you all know.