Thursday, September 23, 2004

Peace, quiet, blessings untold

Monday was a very bad day here...we've had bad days every day for three weeks, so I was getting used to it.  Then I went to Open House on Monday night, and, wow, did I wish I was somewhere else.  The past three weeks of drama have definitely showed up at school, too.  All her teachers showed me their records, in which my beautiful girl's grades started out A, A, then...nothing.  That's right - weeks worth of assignments not even turned in. 
I KNEW something was up, when she came home every day saying she had no homework!
And then Tuesday morning was bad, also...and I just knew I had to do something different.  I've already done different things ... I took her to our doctor ... then I took her to a different doctor ... they're evaluating different things and I'm really hopeful about it.  But in the meantime, I felt like she was drowning and I needed to do something NOW, instead of waiting for the evaluating to be done with.  I was just so tired of, and worried about, the same terrible events happening every morning and evening...
So I didn't go to work Tuesday.  I took her to school, went back home, picked her back up from school at 3.
I did the same thing Wednesday, and Thursday (today).
I've realized quite a few things, in these three days off.
1.  There are all kinds of great TV programs on during the day.  I normally get to watch only one thing throughout the week, so I had a hard time tearing myself away from the TV.  'Charmed', 'MacGuyver', 'Full House' (!), and lots and lots of classic Trek, TNG, DS9...I noticed from the TV Guide that 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Buffy' were also on, but unfortunately I don't get those channels - it's a good thing I have those series already on tape and DVD!  I'm a TV fanatic, and it's been a long time...
2.  I've been so busy I haven't had time for basic things.  Like vacuuming.  It was a great relief to be able to do such simple, yet mandatory, stuff...
3.  When you get back home after dropping her off at school, that's a really good time for a nap.
4.  The main thing is, I realized the effect that my working so much has had on her.  I've seen many different things happen over the past few days, the most important of which is that my daughter blossoms under my constant attention and encouragement.  The reason I took the last three days off was to spend every waking moment with her...joined at the hip, so to speak.  Picked her up from school...heard the day's good and bad things...got home and sat down with her to do her homework - lots and lots and lots of make-up work to do this week!  It was kind of like she was in prison, but she seemed so happy.
We've had two full drama-free days, and I KNOW it's because of all the care and attention I lavished on her.  There are a few problems, now.  A 12-year old shouldn't have to be constantly monitored and lavished with attention...but I'm sure the counseling will help with that.  Another problem is that I have to go back to work tomorrow, and she will once again be with less patient people until I get off.  I'm really worried about that one.  The worst thing, of course, is that I get home around 6 p.m., and there's just not a lot of quality time, when it's just three hours to get homework, supper, and bath...
It's obvious that I have to do something different...I don't know how...we'll work it out, somehow...
I do know that I'm feeling so much better since I went to the doctor myself, and I'm still feeling hope that things can work out, and I've so enjoyed and appreciated the past few days of peace and laughter.