Monday was a very bad day here...we've had bad days every day for three weeks, so I was getting used to it. Then I went to Open House on Monday night, and, wow, did I wish I was somewhere else. The past three weeks of drama have definitely showed up at school, too. All her teachers showed me their records, in which my beautiful girl's grades started out A, A, then...nothing. That's right - weeks worth of assignments not even turned in.
I KNEW something was up, when she came home every day saying she had no homework!
And then Tuesday morning was bad, also...and I just knew I had to do something different. I've already done different things ... I took her to our doctor ... then I took her to a different doctor ... they're evaluating different things and I'm really hopeful about it. But in the meantime, I felt like she was drowning and I needed to do something NOW, instead of waiting for the evaluating to be done with. I was just so tired of, and worried about, the same terrible events happening every morning and evening...
So I didn't go to work Tuesday. I took her to school, went back home, picked her back up from school at 3.
I did the same thing Wednesday, and Thursday (today).
I've realized quite a few things, in these three days off.
1. There are all kinds of great TV programs on during the day. I normally get to watch only one thing throughout the week, so I had a hard time tearing myself away from the TV. 'Charmed', 'MacGuyver', 'Full House' (!), and lots and lots of classic Trek, TNG, DS9...I noticed from the TV Guide that 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Buffy' were also on, but unfortunately I don't get those channels - it's a good thing I have those series already on tape and DVD! I'm a TV fanatic, and it's been a long time...
2. I've been so busy I haven't had time for basic things. Like vacuuming. It was a great relief to be able to do such simple, yet mandatory, stuff...
3. When you get back home after dropping her off at school, that's a really good time for a nap.
4. The main thing is, I realized the effect that my working so much has had on her. I've seen many different things happen over the past few days, the most important of which is that my daughter blossoms under my constant attention and encouragement. The reason I took the last three days off was to spend every waking moment with her...joined at the hip, so to speak. Picked her up from school...heard the day's good and bad things...got home and sat down with her to do her homework - lots and lots and lots of make-up work to do this week! It was kind of like she was in prison, but she seemed so happy.
We've had two full drama-free days, and I KNOW it's because of all the care and attention I lavished on her. There are a few problems, now. A 12-year old shouldn't have to be constantly monitored and lavished with attention...but I'm sure the counseling will help with that. Another problem is that I have to go back to work tomorrow, and she will once again be with less patient people until I get off. I'm really worried about that one. The worst thing, of course, is that I get home around 6 p.m., and there's just not a lot of quality time, when it's just three hours to get homework, supper, and bath...
It's obvious that I have to do something different...I don't know how...we'll work it out, somehow...
I do know that I'm feeling so much better since I went to the doctor myself, and I'm still feeling hope that things can work out, and I've so enjoyed and appreciated the past few days of peace and laughter.
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(((Michelle)))
ReplyDeleteNo ever said being a parent was an easy job. I am finding that out day by day. But somehow we get through it as best as we can. You are doing a great job, being there for her, and you will work it out to be there for her even with going back to work. It will all work out. I will say a prayer for you both tonight, like I do every night. God will get you both through this rough spot.
Huge Hugs, Julie
((MICHELLE)) sometimes it just takes a step back to see things with a little more clarity. Sounds like those few days off did you both a world of good! I'm so happy to hear that!! Now that you have figured out what "some" of the problem is (excluding the normal teenage stuff) you'll be able to go from there and make a plan. Like for instance, if she does a good job at school all week, saturday you can have a mom and daughter date, one week do what she wants, even if it's ice skating!lol Then the next she has to do something you want to do, like watching a classic movie! Those teenage years are very confusing! Hang in there chic! Keeping you guys in my thoughts and prayers ;-)
ReplyDeleteHUgs,
~Angel
Sounds like you love her so very much. Things will have to work their way out.
ReplyDeleteYou and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope things work out better for you in the coming days.
ReplyDeleteIf you've found something that is working, find a way to keep doing it. Could you possibly cut back on your hours and only work the times she's in school? I'm happy to here things are better.
ReplyDeleteI feel SO very fortunate to be able to stay home with my son. I don't know what I would do if I had to work full time to support us. I hope you are able to find a happy balance between work and home soon. -B
ReplyDeleteHi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteRaising children by yourself is jut way too hard and I don't know how you do it. Yes, you don't get home until 6 which only leaves you three hours for her and dinner included. You also don't get "Michelle Time" and that worries me too. There is a reason why I put the moniker Michelle the Superwoman in listing your journal in my sidebar.
We will talk on the e-mail.
Hugs,
Anita
I am hoping that things do work themselves out. 12 is hard for all girls and she just maybe having a hard time. She know that you love her and you are working so hard just to be able to provide for her--not to just be away.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend.
~Heather