It’s just another day…but it doesn’t feel like that, does it? Going from December 31st to January 1st is a good thing…you have a whole new year to get it right…
2004 ... lessons learned
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? Started an online journal.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I never make any resolutions…I have no willpower.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No
4. Did anyone close to you die? No
5. What countries did you visit? None besides my own...
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? Some semblance of order in my life…
7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Dec.26…I still can’t believe the enormity of what happened…
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I made it through, still mostly sane…
9. What was your biggest failure? I hate to lose. And if I do, I never talk about it. Next question, please…
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No…my daughter did and still is suffering with her ear, I wish it was me instead of her…
11. What was the best thing you bought? My DVDs…few, but so cool…
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I don’t know…
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I don’t know…
14. Where did most of your money go? Practically? Bills… Frivolously? Books, as usual…
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? It may be superficial, but every time I got an unexpected check in the mail, my daughter and I did the ‘happy money yay!’ dance…
16. What song will always remind you of 2004? 2004? I’m still stuck in 1984 and have the playlist to prove it…
17. Compared to this time last year, you are: One year older…stronger…sheesh, everything else is the same!
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Sleep
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Waste time
20. How will you be spending Christmas? Oops…I’m answering this after Christmas…I spent Christmas with my family, grandparents, aunts, cousins and all…
21. How would you rather be spending Christmas? After experiencing Christmas with my family, grandparents , aunts, cousins and all…I’d rather be spending Christmas ALONE
22. Did you fall in love in 2004? No, I’m already in love…
23. How many one-night stands? None!
24. What was your favorite TV program? I discovered Charmed this year! Why didn’t anyone tell me sooner!?
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don’t hate anyone.
26. What was the best book you read? I can’t pick just one…
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Randy Travis! Wow!
28. What did you want and get? Buffy Season 7 to complete my collection…
29. What did you want and not get? Still frivolous…this question probably wasn’t meant to be about material things…but I so need a sustainer pedal for my keyboard…my family keeps dodging the hints…
30. What was your favorite film of this year? I don’t know…I have to think about it…
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I took the day off…can’t remember what I did, I think my mindset was, "I’m doing whatever I want because it’s my birthday"…but I’m sure I still had to get up early, take my daughter to school, pick her up from school, help her with her homework, do laundry…I was 31.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? To have been able to hold my family and myself together a little better towards the end of the year…
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? I have no fashion concept!
34. What kept you sane? Pills…LOL!
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? None
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Locally, this stupid ‘Say Yes’ amendment (defining marriage between one man and one woman)…there were bumper stickers and signs in yards and it was without a doubt the most mean-spirited, terrible thing…I couldn’t believe it was even on the ballot, and then I really couldn’t believe that my state voted for it…
37. Who did you miss? Mrs. Barbara, a wonderful person who’s in heaven now…
38. Who was the best new person you met? I met many awesome new people this year!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: Go to the doctor, they can help…children blossom under your attention…and…strength training not only makes you stronger and more toned, it makes you more coordinated so you don’t knock things over as much as you used to!
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Last day...
It's my last day of work until 2005...yay! I've been waiting for this day since...um...July, I think, when I used up the last of my vacation days...they start all over again in January.
How's this for a New Year Resolution? I WILL NOT USE ALL MY DAYS TOO QUICKLY!
I have a real problem...it's called, if I have a day off available, I WILL USE IT! What else is it for!? LOL...
So, off to work I go...last night when I came home, I got stuck coming into my driveway...it's been above freezing and melting the foot of snow which isn't as good as it sounds, because now there's no traction, hence, my getting stuck...
I ended up parking half in my grandparent's driveway and half on the sidewalk, that's as far as I could go, so hopefully I won't get stuck trying to get out today...
HI HO!
How's this for a New Year Resolution? I WILL NOT USE ALL MY DAYS TOO QUICKLY!
I have a real problem...it's called, if I have a day off available, I WILL USE IT! What else is it for!? LOL...
So, off to work I go...last night when I came home, I got stuck coming into my driveway...it's been above freezing and melting the foot of snow which isn't as good as it sounds, because now there's no traction, hence, my getting stuck...
I ended up parking half in my grandparent's driveway and half on the sidewalk, that's as far as I could go, so hopefully I won't get stuck trying to get out today...
HI HO!
Monday, December 27, 2004
Well, Hello...
Christmas Blessings 2004:
1. I am blessed by all my wonderful J-land friends, who prayed for and sent healing thoughts for and asked about my daughter...
2. I am blessed by my daughter, who, even with her leaky, itchy ear, dived right into enjoying every minute of Christmas...
3. I am blessed by Him, who managed to look over me in the past seven days and helped me take care of getting my insurance card, my license tags, my traffic ticket, my Christmas presents, my brother's birthday present, my daughter's doctor appointment...I managed to finish decorating my tree...my daughter had her oral antibiotic twice a day all week, as well as her antibiotic eardrops twice a day all week, I caught and got over a terrible headcold and cough that stuck me in bed for a day, and we had a blizzard that dumped ice and snow on the ground and then brought subzero temperatures and my car wouldn't get out of the driveway and there's still cars getting stuck around town...and yet I'm still making it...
4. I am blessed by Himself, the reason for it all...
5. Special recognition goes out this year for the most useful blessing: That of an SUV in the family when a blizzard hits the Ohio Valley three days before Christmas...The 9-12 inches of ice then snow then ice then snow meant that the roads of my city were impassable by all but four-wheel drive vehicles...my mom and her Ford Escape became very, very popular this week...
I've been extremely neglectful of my journal this past week...just too, too much to deal with...My daughter is doing okay...her ear has been draining for almost two weeks now, but it's less swollen than it was...I have no idea if this is good or bad...her ENT appointment will be Jan. 10. She has been having a real problem with it itching, especially at night! We've had several sleepless nights lately, with her crying and wanting me to hold her ear...I feel like this has been going on forever...I think it has, right?
And the combination of the foot of snow outside and the girl who loves to sled and make snow angels inside was almost too much for me to take...I couldn't let her go out because of her ear...that was a rough one!
But things are good! I drove my car today for the first time since last Monday...and didn't even get stuck in the snow, like many people in my city are still doing on a daily basis...My daughter has jumped into decorating for the next holiday, Valentine's Day, and already has hearts all over her room (don't ask me what happened to New Year's, I don't know...)...We went to my brother's house for his birthday party and enjoyed a nice, restful evening (always a pleasant surprise when my brother's involved!)...my favorite moment of the day was watching my nephew play with my grandpa...my nephew is named after my grandpa...it was quite a wonderful sight, seeing the 74-year old J.W. sprawled on the floor playing GI Joes with his great-grandson, the 3-year old J.W....and best of all, I caught up on my journals and even got to make a journal entry!
I am...accomplished!
1. I am blessed by all my wonderful J-land friends, who prayed for and sent healing thoughts for and asked about my daughter...
2. I am blessed by my daughter, who, even with her leaky, itchy ear, dived right into enjoying every minute of Christmas...
3. I am blessed by Him, who managed to look over me in the past seven days and helped me take care of getting my insurance card, my license tags, my traffic ticket, my Christmas presents, my brother's birthday present, my daughter's doctor appointment...I managed to finish decorating my tree...my daughter had her oral antibiotic twice a day all week, as well as her antibiotic eardrops twice a day all week, I caught and got over a terrible headcold and cough that stuck me in bed for a day, and we had a blizzard that dumped ice and snow on the ground and then brought subzero temperatures and my car wouldn't get out of the driveway and there's still cars getting stuck around town...and yet I'm still making it...
4. I am blessed by Himself, the reason for it all...
5. Special recognition goes out this year for the most useful blessing: That of an SUV in the family when a blizzard hits the Ohio Valley three days before Christmas...The 9-12 inches of ice then snow then ice then snow meant that the roads of my city were impassable by all but four-wheel drive vehicles...my mom and her Ford Escape became very, very popular this week...
I've been extremely neglectful of my journal this past week...just too, too much to deal with...My daughter is doing okay...her ear has been draining for almost two weeks now, but it's less swollen than it was...I have no idea if this is good or bad...her ENT appointment will be Jan. 10. She has been having a real problem with it itching, especially at night! We've had several sleepless nights lately, with her crying and wanting me to hold her ear...I feel like this has been going on forever...I think it has, right?
And the combination of the foot of snow outside and the girl who loves to sled and make snow angels inside was almost too much for me to take...I couldn't let her go out because of her ear...that was a rough one!
But things are good! I drove my car today for the first time since last Monday...and didn't even get stuck in the snow, like many people in my city are still doing on a daily basis...My daughter has jumped into decorating for the next holiday, Valentine's Day, and already has hearts all over her room (don't ask me what happened to New Year's, I don't know...)...We went to my brother's house for his birthday party and enjoyed a nice, restful evening (always a pleasant surprise when my brother's involved!)...my favorite moment of the day was watching my nephew play with my grandpa...my nephew is named after my grandpa...it was quite a wonderful sight, seeing the 74-year old J.W. sprawled on the floor playing GI Joes with his great-grandson, the 3-year old J.W....and best of all, I caught up on my journals and even got to make a journal entry!
I am...accomplished!
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Help Wanted...
Not just wanted...help is needed...
My beautiful daughter not only still has an ear infection...she has the worst ear infection she's ever had...and that's saying something from one who's had four surgeries in that ear...
Took her back to the follow-up appointment Wednesday...she was NOT better at all, at all...she was in fact much worse than she was when she went to acute care on Sunday. The doctor changed her antibiotic...
I think this has gone on for five or six weeks now...at least four different antibiotics...three different types of eardrops...four or five different doctor appointments...numerous phone calls to the doctor...
It's so bad now that it's obviously swollen, from the outside you can see it...as well as a raw spot on the outside of her ear from where it keeps draining...
Since it's her weak ear I'm also worried about her eardrum possibly rupturing, but her doctor said we can't worry about it now since her ear canal is so swollen we cannot see in there to do anything about it anyway, and we have to heal that first before doing anything else.
I'm calling an ENT on Monday...not her old one that put her through all those surgeries, this time a different, highly recommended doctor...her pediatrician said not to worry about an ENT but I can't help it, I think weeks of this is just too much, given her history.
I'll feel a litle better later on tonight, I'm just a little upset right now, having just spent a half hour doctoring her ear for the night...I'm so discouraged and worried.
We need lots of prayer...please...
My beautiful daughter not only still has an ear infection...she has the worst ear infection she's ever had...and that's saying something from one who's had four surgeries in that ear...
Took her back to the follow-up appointment Wednesday...she was NOT better at all, at all...she was in fact much worse than she was when she went to acute care on Sunday. The doctor changed her antibiotic...
I think this has gone on for five or six weeks now...at least four different antibiotics...three different types of eardrops...four or five different doctor appointments...numerous phone calls to the doctor...
It's so bad now that it's obviously swollen, from the outside you can see it...as well as a raw spot on the outside of her ear from where it keeps draining...
Since it's her weak ear I'm also worried about her eardrum possibly rupturing, but her doctor said we can't worry about it now since her ear canal is so swollen we cannot see in there to do anything about it anyway, and we have to heal that first before doing anything else.
I'm calling an ENT on Monday...not her old one that put her through all those surgeries, this time a different, highly recommended doctor...her pediatrician said not to worry about an ENT but I can't help it, I think weeks of this is just too much, given her history.
I'll feel a litle better later on tonight, I'm just a little upset right now, having just spent a half hour doctoring her ear for the night...I'm so discouraged and worried.
We need lots of prayer...please...
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Tears, loneliness, pain, really bad day, just move along...
I took her to the acute care center again today...how many times have I taken her for this ongoing issue now, and it still hasn't gotten better?...
(History of my daughter's ear problems: She's twelve years old now...in her life, she's had tubes in both ears three different times. The last time was about four or five years ago... She seemed to outgrow the ear problems, except for her right ear...turned out that she had a hole in her right eardrum from the last time the tubes were in, that never healed up... She had to have surgery to repair the hole about three years ago, meaning cartilage taken from the outside of her ear grafted onto the hole in her eardrum... so now she has one cute little ear and one cute little slightly different ear because it's missing that bumpy thing and has a scar on it... and ever since then whenever she has an ear infection, it's always in that bad right ear that she had that fourth surgery in... the worst ear infection she ever had was about two years ago was when she had swimmer's ear...)
So we went to the acute care center today and sat back there for two hours, me with a massive headache (as usual) and herself with a massive earache...and himself sitting in the lobby getting more and more upset as he sees people come in after us and leave before us...and anyway, it turns out she has swimmer's ear again, which is extremely painful and I feel so stupid because she had it before and I should have caught it before now...
She cried alternatively off and on all day, the last time before she went to sleep...I know that this is my fault, every time she goes swimming at the Y this happens and I somehow forgot this, I just feel so terrible.
My brother and I somehow got off speaking terms today...my brother, or, to those who don't know him, BOSSY JERK THAT HE IS, was his regular mean self today...but somehow, the combination of C's pain and my headache and my family members who are sometimes so mean to each other and also that my medicine ran out Friday and I didn't have it yesterday or today culminated in a crying jag with D in the car that lasted a good ten minutes... poor D didn't know what to do, and so he decided toblame my brother, because it usually is him who makes people cry, me, or my mom, or my grandma, or my aunt, or my cousin... my brother just has a special talent for hurting people...
But families do that...particularly a close family like I have, my family members will go to bat for me whenever I need them, but they also feel they have the right to say whatever they want, whenever they feel like it, and who cares if it's true, or if it hurts?
If I can just make it to tomorrow, and get up, and take her to school, and go to Walgreens, and get my medicine, and take it, and get to work on time, I'm pretty sure I'll be okay and out of this funk...
On the plus side, I got to see my two favorite rednecks make it to the final two on Survivor tonight...It was like a dream come true, seeing both Chris AND Twila make it, because they've been my two favorites from way back. WOW! It's like I was psychic or something...
(History of my daughter's ear problems: She's twelve years old now...in her life, she's had tubes in both ears three different times. The last time was about four or five years ago... She seemed to outgrow the ear problems, except for her right ear...turned out that she had a hole in her right eardrum from the last time the tubes were in, that never healed up... She had to have surgery to repair the hole about three years ago, meaning cartilage taken from the outside of her ear grafted onto the hole in her eardrum... so now she has one cute little ear and one cute little slightly different ear because it's missing that bumpy thing and has a scar on it... and ever since then whenever she has an ear infection, it's always in that bad right ear that she had that fourth surgery in... the worst ear infection she ever had was about two years ago was when she had swimmer's ear...)
So we went to the acute care center today and sat back there for two hours, me with a massive headache (as usual) and herself with a massive earache...and himself sitting in the lobby getting more and more upset as he sees people come in after us and leave before us...and anyway, it turns out she has swimmer's ear again, which is extremely painful and I feel so stupid because she had it before and I should have caught it before now...
She cried alternatively off and on all day, the last time before she went to sleep...I know that this is my fault, every time she goes swimming at the Y this happens and I somehow forgot this, I just feel so terrible.
My brother and I somehow got off speaking terms today...my brother, or, to those who don't know him, BOSSY JERK THAT HE IS, was his regular mean self today...but somehow, the combination of C's pain and my headache and my family members who are sometimes so mean to each other and also that my medicine ran out Friday and I didn't have it yesterday or today culminated in a crying jag with D in the car that lasted a good ten minutes... poor D didn't know what to do, and so he decided toblame my brother, because it usually is him who makes people cry, me, or my mom, or my grandma, or my aunt, or my cousin... my brother just has a special talent for hurting people...
But families do that...particularly a close family like I have, my family members will go to bat for me whenever I need them, but they also feel they have the right to say whatever they want, whenever they feel like it, and who cares if it's true, or if it hurts?
If I can just make it to tomorrow, and get up, and take her to school, and go to Walgreens, and get my medicine, and take it, and get to work on time, I'm pretty sure I'll be okay and out of this funk...
On the plus side, I got to see my two favorite rednecks make it to the final two on Survivor tonight...It was like a dream come true, seeing both Chris AND Twila make it, because they've been my two favorites from way back. WOW! It's like I was psychic or something...
On the run...
I haven't had time lately.
I NEED MORE TIME.
And now someone's knocking at the door...
Sheesh...
It's himself, of course.
And my daughter's ear still isn't better. It's worse. I just don't know what to do.
I guess I'll go let him in now, he's still knocking...
I NEED MORE TIME.
And now someone's knocking at the door...
Sheesh...
It's himself, of course.
And my daughter's ear still isn't better. It's worse. I just don't know what to do.
I guess I'll go let him in now, he's still knocking...
Wednesday, December 8, 2004
Blessing for today...
May the God of heaven's vault bless you
May the God of shimmering moonlight love you
May the God of sparkling stars lead you
May the God of haunting songs cheer you
May the God of strange shadows calm your nerves
May the God of straight roads bring you home
May God be watching from a familiar window
And hand in hand with Him may you wait for dawn.
May the God of shimmering moonlight love you
May the God of sparkling stars lead you
May the God of haunting songs cheer you
May the God of strange shadows calm your nerves
May the God of straight roads bring you home
May God be watching from a familiar window
And hand in hand with Him may you wait for dawn.
Sunday, December 5, 2004
Wishing to be, um, not me...
I got a ticket Friday.
The very nice police officer gave me a ticket for not having my new sticker thingy. My tags expired in August.
I also didn't have my latest insurance card with me, but he didn't cite me for that. He was very, very nice.
This is what I DIDN'T say to the very nice police officer:
"Thank you so much, sir, for pulling me over, because I delay and delay getting my tags every year until I'm made to do it, usually by one of your esteemed colleagues..."
I'm tired of being me. I'm tired of driving around with expired tags all the time because I forget to do anything about it, and I'm not even really clear on how to do it because I'm leasing my car (and leasing is a very stupid thing to do, it's right at the top of the list)...and how can I remember anyway because my birthday is in February and the tags expire in August, that's totally nonsensical...and I'm tired of not having my insurance card because I lost it right after it came in the mail and I haven't had it in four months...and I could go on and on...
I'm a college graduate, for goodness' sake, and I'm very successful at my job ... I'm the mother of an almost teenager (!) ... I'm in my THIRTIES now (I can't believe I just said that) ...
So WHY do I need a keeper?
Sheesh, I feel like Arthur.
Good night.
p.s. Once I got pulled over for expired tags (I think I've been pulled over four different times over the years for expired tags...) and I HAD the tags, they had been in my glove compartment for months, I just hadn't put them on my license plate yet. I have never seen anyone look as exasperated as that police officer did, when he ordered me to get out of the car right then and there, and go around to the back, and PUT THAT STICKER ON MY CAR. :)
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