What I've felt, what I've known...

I found this and decided to play...

It's a long weekend, you know, and I have 500 other things I'm supposed to be doing...so I made this one of them!

I didn't answer all the questions though. Too many. I made an executive decision and EDITED...because a lot of the questions have already been answered on this blog anyway. I hate to be repetitive. And redundant. :) 

PERSONAL:

3-Do you ever wish you were someone else?

Yes. Is that not politically correct?

5-How old are you?

I find this question extremely offensive.

6-Age you get mistaken for:

This used to be a good question. Now I don't want to talk about it.

7-Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality:

Aquarius, yes.

8-What did you do on your last birthday?

I believe I cried a lot.

9-What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?

Accomplishing ANYTHING would be amazing. I'd like to do THAT.

20-Left or right handed?

Both!
It took me a while to figure out why I use both hands for stuff, because I distinctly remember that I used to be right-handed. 
Then I realized, by the time I was ten, my right arm had been in a cast twice - once at five, and again at ten.
(I'm clumsy. I've had several broken bones.)
I guess when you're a kid, you just adapt. I use my left hand to open bottles, eat with utensils, stuff like that. I still use my right hand to write, but if I get tired, I just switch hands.

21-What’s your sexual orientation?

That is a very personal question.

27-Do you have any “rules” about food?

Yes! Do we really wanna go there again?
No pork, no beef. No chocolate, no peanut butter. No nuts of any kind.

52-Ever broken any bones?

Ha! See above...
Jaw...twice. At 3, and at 15.
Arm, 5. Thumb, 10. Leg, 3 years ago.
Hmmm, I think I'm forgetting something, because I thought I've broken six, and that's just five. They all run together...most of these occurrences involved falling of some sort. I'm challenged.

53-Ever come close to death?

Last year. Emergency surgery. I needed a blood transfusion. I didn't realize I was close until afterwards. I was just grateful for the people who donated. So grateful.

66-Something you do without realising:

If I don't realize it, how can I talk about it?

FAVORITES:

71-What’s your favorite color?

I like all colors, but I would have to say I'm partial to blue.
Kentucky blue.

73-What’s your favorite movie?

I canna choose just one, Captain!

74-What are your favorite books?

Is it too soon to go back to loving Ender's Game? The best book ever!?

75-What is your favorite quote and why?

(see above) The enemy's gate is DOWN...

78-What is your favorite type of food?

Chocolate and peanut butter.
Which I am not allowed to eat anymore.
So, no food. :(

79-Your favorite ice cream?

Yuck.

80-What’s your favorite animal?

The elephant, of course.

85-What is your favorite season?

Winter! Let it snow, no bugs, less sun, nice and cold...it's perfect!

86-What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die?

Alaska, Hawaii, the places in Germany where I grew up, Australia, Patagonia.

FRIENDS:

106-Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I have...I do. But my eyes quickly slide away...I'm sure I look like a complete creep.

MUSIC, MOVIES AND BOOKS:

181-How often do you listen to music?

All day if I can.

182-What kind of music you like?

I like all kinds, but I do tend towards indie, folk, singer/songwriter and alternative-type music the most.

187-A song that’s been stuck in your head:

3 Doors Down - Kryptonite.

188-Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play:

Metallica - One
Linkin Park - Numb
Shane Mack - Lie To Me
NIN - Hurt
Kris Kristofferson - The Silver Tongued Devil and I
OneRepublic - Secrets
The Lumineers - Morning Song
Stevie Wonder - Superstition
Switchfoot - This is Your Life
Slow Runner - No Disassemble

189-A book you want to read/have recently read:

I am currently reading Moonless by Crystal Collier. :)

190-Describe your dream library:

You mean like Lucien's in The Sandman series?
Get it? 'Dream' library? HAHAHAHA...

191-Last movie you just watched:

Rise of the Guardians.

SITUATIONS AND CRAZY THINGS:

193-You’re in a tattoo parlor about to get inked. What are you getting done?

The only kind of ink I would ever get would be some kind of remembrance tattoo. And really, I'm not allowed...my grandpa forbade it long ago. :)

194-What’s something you can see yourself going to jail for?

In all seriousness? Before I quit driving, it would have been for any number of traffic offenses. Nowadays, I can't think of anything I'm doing that's illegal. I'm a RESPONSIBLE ADULT, my reckless days are behind me!

199-If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

As bad as everything has been, I couldn't possibly delete anything.
Life is what it is.
I will take the bad with the good.

200-You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?

SAMURAI SWORD
'HOKA-HEY!!!!!!!!!'

204-Halloween costume idea?

Are you kidding? I've never, in my whole life, had a good Halloween costume idea. I'm very unoriginal.

207-Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with someone you love for ten years or someone you hate for a month? Explain why.

I can get along with anyone for a month. But alone with someone for ten years...that's just asking for trouble.

This is me.

Me.

Please carry me home...

Music: Patty Griffin - Not Alone

I hate broken ankles. I hate pain. I hate being confined to the house for weeks. I hate not being able to get comfortable. I hate being scatterbrained. I hate cliques. I hate cancer. I hate vegetables and fruit and ham and lettuce and beans. I hate insects. I hate Westerns. I hate my carpet. I hate bigotry and racism and homophobia. I hate war.

I love my family. I love my kitty. I love reading, and writing, and dancing, and poetry, and art and music. I love TV and movies. I love my iPod and my Sony Reader and my laptop. I love my blanket. I love the fall, and the winter, and the spring. I love trees. I love my brothers and sisters around the world even though I have never met them. I love God.

I try to love when I feel like hating. But I'm still hating things, especially cancer.

I need to be more loving, to make up for it. Loving is easy...it's everything.

Always a struggle to be...

See John Glenn's autobiography for this exercise...

1. I am Michelle.
2. I am a mom.
3. I am a Christian.
4. I am a daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin.
5. I am owned by a cat.
6. I clench my teeth when I'm stressed.
7. I clench my teeth all the time.
8. I am broke... or maybe broken.
9. I have no idea how John Glenn or the other astronauts managed to come up with 100 of these.
10. I am done.

wandering...

It's like I've been away for so long I forgot how to do things.  
Anyway, Julie sent this to me and I haven't done one of these in a while...I like these...  
Four Things:Cut and paste this email to a new one.  
Just answer each question with the appropriate 4 answers of your own...
A.Four jobs you have had in your life:

1.)   Fast food restaurant
2.)  Answering service
3.)  Truck assembly line (for five whole weeks)
4.)   Key Entry admin (that was my favorite...)

B.Four movies you could watch over and over:

1.)   Apollo 13
2.)   The Princess Bride
3.)   The Shawshank Redemption (but only Michelle's edited version)
4.)   Kill Bill (this is a fairly new addition but I haven't got sick of watching it over and over yet, so I think it will stand...)  
C.Four places you have lived:

1.)   Louisville, KY
2.)   Fort Campbell, KY
3.)   Obernburg, Germany
4.)   Kitzingen, Germany

D.Four TV shows you love to watch:

1.)   Survivor
2.)   Charmed
3.)   Animal Cops
4.)   MASH (I know it's not current, but I can't think of any other current shows that I MUST watch!)

E.Four places you have been on vacation:
1.)   London, England
2.)   Colorado Springs, Colorado
3.)   Myrtle Beach, South Carolina 
4.)   Gatlinburg, Tennessee
F.Four websites you visit daily:
1.)   searchbug.com (for work)
2.)   UPS.com (for work)
3.)   courier-journal.com (Louisville's newspaper)
4.)   freetranslation.com (for work)
G.Four of your favorite foods:

1.)   JIF Crunchy peanut butter
2.)   Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
3.)   chocolate...chocolate...chocolate
4.)   Anything that my grandma cooks
H.Four places you'd rather be right now:

1.)   I'm pretty happy here...
2.)   Although I would like to be in a place where my hand isn't hurting and in a cast anymore, it's really cramping my style...
3.)   And a place where my daughter hasn't turned into a TEENAGER...
4.)   The most beautiful places I've ever visited (outside of my own beautiful state of Kentucky! :) are Wyoming and Austria, I still dream of going back there...

I.Four of your favorite things to do:

1.)   Reading
2.)   Music
3.)   DVDs
4.)   Petting my kitty
J.Four of your favorite drinks (alcoholic or non....ANYTHING):
1.)   Diet Pepsi
2.)   Diet Pepsi
3.)   Diet Pepsi
4.)   Big Red 

Back, again...

The ads up there are a little disconcerting...I see them move out of the corner of my eye and it makes me jump. 
But I just can't work up the kind of outrage about the ads that would compel me to leave AOL and go somewhere else...
Because I am LAZY.  Or, SELF-CENTERED.  Or, I just DON'T CARE about some things, like stupid ads on my journal on a service that I PAY FOR (okay, maybe I care a little bit).
I care about my daughter.  I care about getting my daughter through eighth grade in one piece, mentally and physically.  I care about seeing her grow up into a beautiful, strong woman, and I care about making sure she doesn't lose her way. 
I care about our environment and our earth.  I care about animals...since I now have a pet it's scary, how much I care about animals.  Or maybe the scary thing is that I never thought much about them before.
I care about space exploration.  I care about books. 
I care about all of our soldiers in the military. 
I care about my life...or, I'm trying to.
So, I guess my point is that I'm staying put.  The stupid ads are just not high on my list of things to care about right now.
Though I will throw in a couple more STUPID ADS, STUPID ADS, for good measure...

Locked in a vault with a TV and my favorite shows...

Could there be anything better?
Patrick's Sunday Seven, Episode 3:
You will be locked in a tape vault for six months and you can only have seven choices of television programs to watch.  Name the seven shows - present or past - that you'd want to make sure were accessible by your remote control.  Don't worry about listing them in any particular order...just pick seven you wouldn't want to be without for six months.
Here's my seven:
1.  All the different incarnations of Star Trek...is it cheating to list them separately, or is it cheating to lump them all as one show?  Regardless, give me 'ST: Deep Space Nine', 'ST: The Next Generation', 'Star Trek' (the original series), 'ST: Voyager', and 'ST: Enterprise', and I am one happy girl...
2.  'Buffy'...
3.  'Charmed'...
4.  'The Pretender'...(ssshhhhh! Don't interrupt my fantasy, please...)
5.  'MASH'... this is my most recent discovery...I avoided watching this when I was growing up - I was an Army brat and I already had quite enough of Army life, thank you...I only started watching it in the past couple of years because of D's addiction to it and, wow!, why didn't I know before what a great show it was?!
6.  'Survivor'...don't you like to record the whole season and then, after the winner is announced, go back and watch it from a different perspective and see masterminds at work? ... What, no one else does this?  Oh...
7.  I don't know what to put for #7!!!  So, when the time comes and I'm put in the vault, I will close my eyes and pick between 'Alias', 'CSI', and 'MacGyver'...I'm thinking 'MacGyver' will win!

I've been tagged...

The wonderful Anna tagged me, so here goes...

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die (in no particular order)
1. Visit where I used to live in Germany...
2. Go to Disney World...
3. Go to Alaska...
4. Learn to speak Spanish...
5. Get married (someday...)
6. Watch my daughter grow up into a beautiful woman...
7. Act the way I want to act instead of how I'm expected to act, and do what I want to do instead of what I have to do.

7 Things I Can Do (in no particular order)
1. Read really fast...
2. Type really fast...
3. Hike in mountainous terrain...
4. Play the piano...
5. Edit papers...
6. Swim...
7. The Vulcan 'Live long and prosper' salute...

7 Things I Can't Do (in no particular order)
1. Lose gracefully...
2. Admit when I'm wrong...
3. Face conflict and confrontations...
4. Be around any type of insect or spider...
5. Stop myself from blushing...
6. Act normal in a social setting...
7. Return phone calls...

7 Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex (in no particular order)
1. Sense of humor
2. Kindness
3. Intelligence
4. Thoughtfulness
5. Humility
6. Hands (they must be MANLY...)
7. Sports affiliation (e.g., Team preferences MUST be compatible with mine)...

7 Things I Say Most Often (in no particular order)
1. Cool...
2. Wow...
3. Huh.
4. My goodness...
5. PLEASE get in the shower / go to bed / go to sleep / wake up / brush your hair / clean your room / clean up your mess...
6. I love you...
7. Where's the kitty?

7 Celebrity Crushes (in no particular order)
1. John Cusack
2. Ed Harris
3. John Cusack
4. Ed Harris
5. John Cusack
6. Ed Harris
7. John Cusack

7 People I Want To Do This (in no particular order)
1. I don't think I KNOW seven people who haven't already done it!
2. Um...
3. This particular tag might have to stop with me...
4. How about, anyone that reads this that HASN'T done it...
5. just go ahead and do it?!
6. And then leave me a link to it...
7. Yay!

Your turn ...... Tag!  You're It!

My ABC's

I don't know where they started, but I got these from Anna:
A is for Age:   32
B is for Boyfriend:  That would be D. LOL! He hates when I talk about him...we're on year 9, and counting...
C is for Career:  Three careers...I'm a mom...I work full time in brokerage (international) accounting for a corporation...I have a degree in Philosophy but I'm still a student at the University of Louisville pursuing another degree.
D is for Dad's name:  Ray
E is for Essential item to bring to a party:  I try not to go to parties...when D makes me go, he always does the calling and asks what to bring (he's so nice and polite), usually we bring ice.  Oh wait, I have the answer!  Whenever I go to someone else's house, I always take my own Diet Pepsi...just in case they don't have any...
F is for Favorite song at the moment:  I have lots of favorites, I can't choose just one! 
G is for Girlfriend:  Sorry, I can't choose just one here, either... 
H is for Hometown:   Louisville, Kentucky
I is for instruments you play:  Piano.  Guitar.  Middle school clarinet.
J is for Jam or Jelly you like:   Strawberry.
K is for Kids:  C...she's 12...my everything...
L is for Living arrangements:  Small house...
M is for Month you were born:  February.
N is for Name of your best friend(s):   D.
O is for Overnight hospital stays:  Jaw surgery when I was 15, and then when my daughter was born.
P is for Phobia[s]:  Bugs.  Tornadoes.
Q is for Quote you like:  Easy... "The enemy's gate is down!"
R is for Relationship that lasted the longest:  See B for boyfriend, above...
S is for Sexual position:  Ewww, too much information, I'm skipping this one!
T is for Time you wake up:  Weekdays 6:30 a.m.  Sundays 7:30 a.m.  Saturdays I wake up about 7 a.m., realize that this is the day  I don't have anything to do, and then go back to bed until afternoon.
U is for Unique trait:  Nah, don't have one.
V is for Vegetable you love:  I don't eat vegetables...
W is for Worst habit:  Oversleeping. 
X is for X-rays you've had:  I don't know!  Chest, hand, arm, jaw...
Y is for Yummy food you make:  I make a good pasta...
Z is for Zodiac sign:  Aquarius

My list...

Here's my list, better late than never...I don't know where it started, but I believe I took it from Julie...
() smoked a cigarette 
() smoked a cigar 
() made out with a member of the same sex
(x) been in love 
(x) been dumped
(x) stolen
() been fired
() been in a fight
(x) snuck out of my parent's house
() had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
()been arrested
() made out with a stranger
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
()had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
(x) slept with a co-worker
() seen someone die
() had a crush on one of your journal friends
() been to Canada
() been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
() thrown up in a bar
(x) purposely set a part of myself on fire
() eaten Sushi
() been snowboarding
() met someone in person from journals/online
() been hxc dancing at a show (I have NO idea what this is!)
() been in an abusive relationship
() taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
() had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
() played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
() used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
() felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
() pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) run a red light 
() been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
() eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
() danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
() witnessed a crime
() pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
() squished barefoot through the mud 
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country 
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
() played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
() sung karaoke
(x) paid for something with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
() danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe
() watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles 
() made a bonfire
() crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
() humped a monkey
() worn pearls
() jumped off a bridge
() screamed penis in class
(x) ate dog/cat food
() told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
() have a little black dress
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) gluedyour hand to something
() got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
() kissed a fish
() worn the opposite sexes clothes 
(x) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
() done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
() didn't take a shower for a week
()pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
() had a tree house
() are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
()have more then 30 pairs of shoes
()worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
() gone streaking
() played ding-dong-ditch (I don't know what this is, either...) 
() played chicken [in the pool]
() been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
() caught a fish then ate it
() made porn
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
() mooned/flashed someone
() had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
() have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
() slept naked
(x)French braided someones hair
()gone skinny dippin in a pool
()been kicked out of your house
Pretty tame answers, really...

The story...

Yesterday was ENT day! My daughter wasn’t miraculously healed that day, unfortunately, but the doctor we saw was still wonderful and I left there feeling better about things. She put my daughter on a different medicine and we have to go back in two weeks. It sounds a lot like what we have been doing the last couple months! But this time, it’s not the same old doctor going, "I think this and I think that"…at least this doctor KNOWS what’s going on and what to do next. THANK GOODNESS!
I’ve seriously slacked in my journal lately, and so, I thought I’d write this:
This is what I do:

1. I’m a single mom, to a beautiful 12-year old daughter. I don’t usually talk much, unless someone asks about her, and then it’s like a fountain (you know, PLEASE shut me up!)…so that everyone who knows me knows everything about her…
2. I work full-time…Monday – Friday, 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. (or 9:15 to 5:45, really just when I happen to manage to make it in)…in the international brokerage accounting department of a really big package delivery service.
3. I’m a perpetual student…I’m taking one class this semester, ‘Radical Fiction’, with a bunch of really young, good-looking kids…I don’t know when I started getting older than my classmates...It’s a little depressing…
4. I’m an Awana leader Sunday nights…I love it…
5. Okay, now I’m bored, I was going to go on about the nights I work out at the Y, and being D’s girlfriend, and a ‘Cats fan, and a reader…I also apparently have a short attention span because I just can’t stick with this list anymore!

So, what to do, when you’re inspired to write an entry, and then get bored with it? It reminds me of when I saw Metallica in concert a few years ago…they started singing "Shortest Straw" and were at least a third of the way through the song when James Hetfield just stopped and said…"I’m bored."
Did I have a point? I think we’re back to that attention span thing again…
And so now, because I really miss writing here but I can’t get my mind to focus on a proper entry, here is the list of paperbacks I have in the little bookcase by my bed (how many bookshelves and bookcases do I have? I can’t count them all…this little one is the smallest and cutest…):
Okay, there a few videotapes in the shelf, too, because they are conveniently almost the same size as paperbacks, yay! We’ve got:

1. 11 recorded videotapes worth of ‘Angel’, season 5…(I’ve got to hang on to them until it comes out on DVD J …)
2. UK v. U of L December 2004 (college basketball for those not in the know…I record most games, and keep them forever and ever if they turn out as wonderful as this one did…)
3. Movies: For Love of the Game, Reality Bites, Dazed and Confused…

Books:
(Not all, but certainly a lot of my favorite books are on this bookshelf, which is why it’s close to my bed…)

• Ender’s Game
by Orson Scott Card (The BEST BOOK EVER always goes to the top of the list…)

Ender’s Shadow

by Orson Scott Card

Shadow of the Hegemon

by Orson Scott Card

Shadow Puppets

by Orson Scott Card

Speaker for the Dead

by Orson Scott Card

Xenocide

by Orson Scott Card

Children of the Mind

by Orson Scott Card

Seventh Son

, Red Prophet, Prentice Alvin, Alvin Journeyman, Heartfire, and Crystal City by Orson Scott Card

The Memory of Earth

, The Call of Earth, The Ships of Earth, Earthfall, and Earthborn, by Orson Scott Card

The Abyss

by Orson Scott Card

The Worthing Saga

by Orson Scott Card

Pastwatch: The Redemption of Chistopher Columbus

by Orson Scott Card (OKAY, the advertisement for OSC is over now, back to regularly scheduled programming…)

God Game

by Andrew M. Greeley

For the Roses

by Julie Garwood (I'm pretty sure this is the best historical romance novel I've ever read. And trust me, I've read...um...most of them!)

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

by Rebecca Wells

Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married

by Marian Keyes

Watermelon

, Rachel’s Holiday, and Angels by Marian Keyes

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

, Prince Caspian, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Silver Chair, The Horse and His Boy, The Magician’s Nephew, and The Last Battle by C. S. Lewis

Good Omens

by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

Neverwhere

by Neil Gaiman

Stardust

by Neil Gaiman (Okay, another commercial, this one for Neil Gaiman…all of his other books, as well as the Sandman graphic novels, are in hardback on another bookshelf…)

The Prophet

by Kahlil Gibran

Persuasion

by Jane Austen

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht

Ultimate Pocket World Factfile

The Declaration of Independence

The Constitution of the United States of America

The Hobbit

, The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and The Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien

Webster’s New World Dictionary

Cassell’s New Compact German Dictionary

Harper Collins Spanish Dictionary

The Natural Remedy Bible

by John Lust, N.D. and Michael Tierra, C.A., O.M.D.

Laura: The Life of Laura Ingalls Wilder

by Donald Zochert (Laura’s actual books are on a different bookshelf…but this is a great biography of her life from an outsider’s view. I’m going to write sometime of my visit in June 2000 to De Smet, SD, and Walnut Grove, MN, where she grew up…it was a dream come true for me!)

Leap of Faith: An Astronaut’s Journey Into the Unknown

by Gordon Cooper

Apollo 13

by Jim Lovell and Jeffrey Kluger

Genesis: The Story of Apollo 8

by Robert Zimmerman

The Steel Albatross

by Scott Carpenter

Jupiter

by Ben Bova

Moonwar

by Ben Bova

All Quiet on the Western Front

by Erich Maria Remarque

Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl

Earthlight

by Arthur C. Clarke

Dolphin Island

by Arthur C. Clarke

Our Town

by Thornton Wilder

The Outsiders

by S.E. Hinton
Okay!  Now that I've had my fun, I have to go put some eardrops in my daughter's ear now.  Story of my life...
Good night.

New year, same story...

Well, I had a whole entry written and then AOL kicked me off, so now I'm rewriting this and not in nearly as good a mood as I was in...I knew I should have written it offline and copied and pasted...

Here's the update on my daughter's ear...by Thursday night it was completely swollen again, so the eardrops wouldn't go in at all...I took her to the doctor Friday morning and he was very concerned, to say the least.  This is the first time we've seen her regular doctor in a while, because every time we went back the last few times we had to see the on-call doctors and he wasn't there...

Anyway, it was great to see him, it just made me feel better knowing how concerned he was about her.  He put a 'wick' in her ear...it looks exactly like what it sounds like, a candle wick...so that the eardrops can actually make it inside her ear by traveling through the wick...it's supposed to fall out within the week.  He also prescribed her new, different antibiotic eardrops.

(I've lost count of the total doctor visits and different prescriptions this has come to so far.  My insurance is good, but I still have to pay co-payments: $15 for each office visit, and $25 for each RX.  $$$!  But I would pay anything if she would only get better...)

He also wants her to see her ENT when this clears up, because this has dragged on so long, something definitely isn't right.  I was so happy to say, yay, I finally did something right, because I already scheduled the appointment with the ENT for January 24th.  SURELY this will be cleared up by then?!

I'm feeling very hopeful now, for the first time in a while, because her ear is much less swollen now than it was on Friday.  Also, the draining has stopped, thank goodness!  (Some draining is good...except her ear was draining going on three weeks without stopping...causing an oozing sore on the outside of her ear where it was draining...).  She's still having some itching but on the whole things are looking better...cautiously optimistic here...this newfangled wick thing seems to be working...

I'm going to close this with a quiz I found in Angel's journal...I love these wonderful quizzes, because 1) they can help you think about where you are and what you're doing with your life, and 2) well, no explanation needed, the best kind... :) :

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Michelle
2. Mommy
3. Hey! (That's my boyfriend's specialty LOL!)
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
I can't answer this one, I've only had one screen name the whole time I've been on AOL...
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I like that I learned how to play piano.
2. I like that books are my friends.
3. I like that sometimes I'm a little funny.
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I hate that sometimes I let things slip away...there it goes...bye...
2. I hate that sometimes I have trouble getting started...getting moving...getting motivated...
3. I hate that I forget things...all the time...what? when?
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Scottish
2. Irish
3. Cherokee
(in other words: that of anyone with ancestors from the Appalachian mountains)
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. The stock market
2. Mechanics
3. Did I mention the stock market?
THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. Having to talk on the telephone when I'm at home.
2. People that come over, unannounced.3. People that say they're leaving and then stand at the door for another hour.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:1. Tornados
2. World War II / The Holocaust
3. Windows at night that don't have curtains

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:1. Diet Pepsi
2. Chocolate
3. A hug from my daughter

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:1. Gray sweat pants
2. Blue t-shirt
3. Hair clip
THREE THINGS ON YOUR DESK:
1. Trivial Pursuit electronic game
2. My daughter's mood ring (she discovered tonight that it turned her finger green so she left it on MY desk. Then she debated wearing it on her thumb so she could have a 'GREEN thumb.' LOL! She cracks me up...)
3. Gus Grissom Memorial Brochure (in Spring Mill State Park, Mitchell, Indiana)
THREE THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST:
1. Wow...
2. Cool...
3. Hmmm... (insert proper vagueness in there, so the person talking is never sure if I'm listening or if I'm in Michelle-fantasy-land...with my daughter, she never doubts that I'm listening, she's a narcissistic twelve-year old! With my boyfriend, he's pretty sure I'm NOT listening, even if Iam, so he'll repeat everything twice...)
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS AT THE MOMENT:
1. The Beatles
2. U2
3. Metallica
(I know, I'm not exactly in the moment here...)
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITES SONGS AT THE MOMENT:
1. Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell
2. Out of this World - Bush
3. Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers
 
THREE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:1. My daughter  
2. My boyfriend
3. My mom

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS:1. They know me. I can relax.
2. I know them. They can relax.
3. We make each other laugh.
THREE THINGS YOU WOULD WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:1. Love
2. Trust
3. Respect

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:1. Humor
2. Honesty
3. Intelligence

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:1. Can't... figure out what I'm doing wrong here...2. Can't... seem to get this desk cleaned up once and for all...
3. Can't... get up in the morning for work if I don't go to bed soon...
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:1. Reading
2. Playing piano
3. Hmmm...what do I put for this third one...whitewater rafting?...memorizing things?...learning new languages?...(or rather, attempting to learn new languages)...or the really embarrassing one, going to the Y and working out?

THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:1. Solutions and an end to the suffering over there.
2. My daughter's ear to be all better.
3. Sleep.
THREE CAREERS YOU'VE CONSIDERED:1. You name it...
2. I considered it...
3. That's why it took me nine years to graduate from college.
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:1. The Arctic Circle
2. Scotland
3. Peru
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Maybe possibly get married. Maybe.
2. See my daughter grow up into a beautiful young woman.
3. I would really, really like to see a human land on Mars.

It's December 31st...

It’s just another day…but it doesn’t feel like that, does it? Going from December 31st to January 1st is a good thing…you have a whole new year to get it right…

2004 ... lessons learned
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? Started an online journal. 
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I never make any resolutions…I have no willpower. 
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No 
4. Did anyone close to you die? No 
5. What countries did you visit? None besides my own... 
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? Some semblance of order in my life… 
7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Dec.26…I still can’t believe the enormity of what happened… 
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I made it through, still mostly sane… 
9. What was your biggest failure? I hate to lose. And if I do, I never talk about it. Next question, please… 
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No…my daughter did and still is suffering with her ear, I wish it was me instead of her… 
11. What was the best thing you bought? My DVDs…few, but so cool… 
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I don’t know… 
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I don’t know… 
14. Where did most of your money go? Practically? Bills… Frivolously? Books, as usual… 
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? It may be superficial, but every time I got an unexpected check in the mail, my daughter and I did the ‘happy money yay!’ dance… 
16. What song will always remind you of 2004? 2004? I’m still stuck in 1984 and have the playlist to prove it… 
17. Compared to this time last year, you are: One year older…stronger…sheesh, everything else is the same! 
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Sleep 
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Waste time 
20. How will you be spending Christmas? Oops…I’m answering this after Christmas…I spent Christmas with my family, grandparents, aunts, cousins and all… 
21. How would you rather be spending Christmas? After experiencing Christmas with my family, grandparents , aunts, cousins and all…I’d rather be spending Christmas ALONE 
22. Did you fall in love in 2004? No, I’m already in love… 
23. How many one-night stands? None! 
24. What was your favorite TV program? I discovered Charmed this year! Why didn’t anyone tell me sooner!? 
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don’t hate anyone. 
26. What was the best book you read? I can’t pick just one… 
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Randy Travis! Wow! 
28. What did you want and get? Buffy Season 7 to complete my collection… 
29. What did you want and not get? Still frivolous…this question probably wasn’t meant to be about material things…but I so need a sustainer pedal for my keyboard…my family keeps dodging the hints… 
30. What was your favorite film of this year? I don’t know…I have to think about it… 
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I took the day off…can’t remember what I did, I think my mindset was, "I’m doing whatever I want because it’s my birthday"…but I’m sure I still had to get up early, take my daughter to school, pick her up from school, help her with her homework, do laundry…I was 31. 
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? To have been able to hold my family and myself together a little better towards the end of the year… 
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? I have no fashion concept!
34. What kept you sane? Pills…LOL! 
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? None
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Locally, this stupid ‘Say Yes’ amendment (defining marriage between one man and one woman)…there were bumper stickers and signs in yards and it was without a doubt the most mean-spirited, terrible thing…I couldn’t believe it was even on the ballot, and then I really couldn’t believe that my state voted for it… 
37. Who did you miss? Mrs. Barbara, a wonderful person who’s in heaven now… 
38. Who was the best new person you met? I met many awesome new people this year! 
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: Go to the doctor, they can help…children blossom under your attention…and…strength training not only makes you stronger and more toned, it makes you more coordinated so you don’t knock things over as much as you used to!