Thursday, July 8, 2004


I miss my life.  Where did it go?
I miss my journal.  Does it miss me?
I've had a sudden influx of being frantically busy the last few days.  Why?  I can't pinpoint it.
And I'm trying to format a brochure to help out my mom (remember HeroQuest?), and I DESPERATELY need a drawing of a little astronaut.  I know exactly what I want, but I can't find it online.  At this rate, it would have been faster to create it myself.  I've been at it for hours. :(
I had another little car accident today.  My rating as the world's worst driver keeps going up and up.  I just get so discouraged, driving, because it's always close calls and people blowing their horns at me.  The man I hit today said, "You need to be more careful, young lady."  The problem is, I think I am careful.  Why can't I drive like a normal person? 
(I had taken my break at work to go across the street to the bank.  I was backing out of my parking space when a car just flew by behind me.  I heard something but I didn't even feel my car move, and I didn't realize we had collided until I finished pulling out and he was stopping at the end of the aisle.  He got out and looked at his car, so I got out and asked if I had hit him.  He said yes, but it was just scratched and he could rub it out.  Then he threw the disparaging comment at me and got in his car and drove away.)
I didn't even think to check my car until after I got back from the bank.  It's just scratched.  It now nicely matches the banged up front end from my wreck a few months ago.  This is a new car, mind you, even though it doesn't look like it.
Only a little over four years, and my daughter will be driving!  I'm thinking it will be like having my own personal chauffeur, we'd both be safer, probably, with her behind the wheel...
I hate that I'm moving at top speed and I don't have time to think or reflect.  I would slow down if only I knew what I'm doing wrong.  My relationships are suffering from it.  My daughter is suffering from it.  I can't get rid of this URGENT feeling inside me.
Enough!  Slow down!  Stop!


  1. Awww..((((Hugs Michelle))))  I know how you feel, we have all been there.  Ya gotta try and slow down and just relax.  Easy to say...I know...cuz I am having the same problem.  But mine is I have lost my brain and can't find it...I am losing everything and I mean everything.  If my head wasn't attached I would be looking for that too.
    Did you try search in Google under images?  Try that and see if that works if it doesn't let me know...on our DSL provider I can find anything I type in.
    Hope things look up for you...and just slow down and take a deep breath...hang in there, things will get better...I will keep you in my prayers.  :o)  Julie

  2. Hi Michelle,

    it sounds like you are in the doldrums.  I am here to talk to you when you need it.  If you see I am online, send me an e-mail and then I will IM you and we can chat about this.  Getting it off your chest will help you I hope.  I will also pray for you.  I know you are a good driver.  The best of drivers have accidents.  Nobody is immune to them.  

    Yes, your journal misses you too.  She cries when you are gone too long.

    Hang in there Kid,

  3. Michelle~

    I know exactly what you are describing!  That is how I've felt this past week also!

    Does your car happen to be red??  I had a red car, that seemed to just scream 'HIT ME, I'M RIGHT HERE!!'  i finally got rid of it, and haven't wrecked since then.

    I sent you an email :0)


  4. This is my first time visiting your journal and I just wanted to say hi and that I think you have a wonderful journal here.