Monday, September 2, 2013

The nightingale won't sing for us; or, I'm baaack...


Did I mention I'm seeing a new neurologist? This is my third one and I'm really hoping she'll be The One.

On my first appointment, the doctor gave me SIX new prescriptions, told me to throw out my Excedrin Migraine and Advil, and no more peanut butter. At all.

That's right, I said NO MORE PEANUT BUTTER.

Since then, I've also had to cut out chocolate, cut out any kind of nut or nut product altogether, cut down Diet Pepsi to two a day, and increase water to at least four bottles a day, but eight would be better.

But who cares, my mind got stuck on no peanut butter and I still haven't recovered.

If one could have a food religion, mine would be peanut butter. JIF Crunchy Peanut Butter, to be exact.

I had at least three jars of it stashed in my room for emergencies. A couple of days after the doctor's verdict, I was tearing through the kitchen in the middle of the night. Cabinets opening and closing, pots rattling, you name it...and in walks Chelsea.

"Mommy...what are you doing?"

"I KNOW there's some peanut butter in here! WHERE IS IT?!"

Poor Chelsea. I wonder what it's like to have a crazy mother?

"Mommy, I got rid of all the peanut butter. I know you have no self control. It's all gone."

(sob) "I don't believe youuuuuuuu."

So yeah...she somehow found all the peanut butter and got rid of it. Including all the jars I'd hidden away in my room.

I'm very unhappy about this dietary change.

Anyway, second appointment with the doctor this week, she wrote me MORE prescriptions, AND she took over my Vicodin RX from my primary care doctor. Which meant I had to sign a contract stating I won't sell my pills on the backside of Churchill Downs anymore.

Bummer...my new doctor is taking away all my favorite things.

But really, let's hope my migraines get better, because if I don't show improvement by next appointment, she's going to discuss BOTOX with me.

They use botox to treat migraines now.

Not on me, I don't think. Injecting toxin right into my brain? I'm already kind of...you know... It's just not a good idea.

So I'm following all the rules.

But I really, really miss Reese's Cups.