Insomnia...

I just cannot sleep...At first I thought it was because I was addicted to those stupid Lortabs.  So I quit taking them and then I still couldn't sleep, so I thought maybe it was withdrawal...but it's been a couple of days now...so I guess maybe it's just a permanent condition.  Or maybe it's because I'm so uncomfortable from the pain.
Yeah, that could be it. :)
I did get the cast taken off and the stitches taken out finally on Monday...physical therapy has commenced in earnest again and my life is happy just YAY! all over...
This is one of my favorite songs ever, it's been one of my comfort songs for about twenty years now...gosh I'm getting old...we all are...
The clues to a mild little depression are all around me...the utter disarray and clutter of my house, the unreturned phone calls, the unopened mail and the canceled doctor appointments... I don't know if it's because of the surgery, or if the surgery was just a convenient excuse.  If people hadn't been coming around to help me out, I'm not sure that the laundry or dishes would have been done.
I wasn't too far gone to make sure that my daughter and my kitty got fed.
Now I have three weeks left before I have to go back to work and it's like I've been given an ultimatum...get your life in order, get your mind in order, OR ELSE.
I close my eyes at night and try to go to sleep and all I see is a big jumble of all the stuff that I need to do and have failed to do in my life, stuff that I will never do and stuff that I will never get done and stuff that I will never hope to do and stuff that I BETTER do before July 10...
I don't think I can ever go to sleep.