Monday, February 3, 2014

I can't escape myself...


What I'm experiencing right now is anxiety and stress, a lot of it. I know it well.

What I'm doing right now is hiding under the covers, nursing my headache.

What I'm afraid of is that I'm going to be triggered right back into the dark place - the place I've tried so hard to get out of for the past two years.

Funny how that fear is just piling on to the anxiety and stress I already have.

What I'm supposed to be doing is utilizing the tools I've learned to handle moments just like this.

But I can't remember a thing. Let's blame it on the headache.

The headache is probably caused by the stress and anxiety.

See?

I can't escape myself...

31 comments:

  1. If it isn't on thing it is another. Be stress free. It is easy. Go to the floor sleeper, bend down and take a pee right on their knee. Whalla, cured! lol

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    1. LOL, you gave me a good laugh...Floor sleeper is a good 65% of my stress, it's true...

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    1. Thank you, I appreciate that very much.. :)

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  3. Using your mind to do something so precise as reporting the problem, writing it down as you have done, can only be helpful. I have been doing crosswords in bed all day with the flu, similar dynamic. Let's feel better.

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    1. Okay, let's. I was trying to stay analytical and not be...morose, LOL.
      Tomorrow will be better, I'm sure.

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  4. Michelle, you seem to follow a lot of blogs and comment a lot, after working a full day. Are your headaches better the rare night when you skip the blogging/commenting? I know my back would feel better if I weren't in this ridiculous position with my pad next to me...yet I do it anyway.

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    1. Yeah, if I come home and just don't get on the computer, my head doesn't hurt as bad. Makes sense because I've been on the computer all day.

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  5. I'm so sorry you're not feeling great :( Remember though, one little set back does not put you back in The Dark Place. Even if you visit there for a day, you know you can come out of it because you have once before. You'll get through this. I know you will. I believe in you.

    (This is what I say to myself every time I am in danger into falling in my Dark and Twisty place. It's helped so far, and had been true every time. Remember: I fell apart...But got back up again <33)

    Hugs

    Xo

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    1. Thank you so much! You've said just what I needed to hear...you have no idea how much this helped me (well maybe you do)! :)

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  6. It's amazing how powerful our mind can be on our body. The stress causes the headaches, which in turn can cause more stress. And you are cognizant and self-aware enough to at least have recognition of these feelings and that is more than half the battle!!

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    1. Thank you! I know...today, it's eased some, and I'm remembering some relaxing and breathing techniques; but last night, it just seemed impossible. :)

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  7. =( I'm wishing you some healing cheese and amazing day dreams to keep you company under your blanket. You are going to get through this, and here's a wedge of sunshine to chase away the shadows.

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    1. That sounds wonderful!! Thank you so much!

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  8. I'm so sorry you're still dealing with the migraine. They suck so bad and to make it worse, they deplete serotonin from our brains; that's what makes us feel so sad. Again, I feel your pain. Much love and hugs headed your way.

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    1. I didn't know that about migraines, that explained a lot...Thank you sooo much!!

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  9. ohhh...take things lightly :)
    Take a deep breath and start writing a blog post. Read the beautiful comments, it is therapeutic, relieves anxiety too !
    My next post is about stress and remedies :)

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    1. You are so right, all of these supportive and wonderful comments really do help! Thanks so much, Raj!

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  10. Distract yourself with stuff you love. And hopefully the moment will just be lost in the shuffle.

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    1. That's good advice, Tony, I will try it; thank you so much!

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  11. Sounds a little overwhelming. I hope your headache gets better soon.

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    1. It's eased some tonight, I think, from last night...thank you so much!

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  12. So sorry to hear about your struggle. I don't really know enough, and don't want to impose - so all I can say, I know how truly horrid these dark cycles can be and that, as crass as it may sound, the sun will rise and you'll feel the summer breezes in your hair once more. You've also got one super-power - your sense of humour and ability to laugh. The night can never be truly dark when there is laughter in it.

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    1. Thanks so much! I love your comments and you are never in any way imposing, though I know what you meant, :).
      You know, I haven't seen the sun or felt warmth for weeks, it seems - that may be part of my problem?! We keep getting hit by snow and ice storms...
      I never thought about me having a super-power...you've really given me something to think about there!

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  13. Damn headaches. I hate it when I can't crawl out of my own head. May you soon feel better. Come back and keep talking. We're listening.

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    1. Thank you, so so much! That is exactly how I feel... :)
      I love your second comment, by the way! Do I really have to delete it, LOL?!

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    2. Ohhhh! I didn't need to leave that 2nd comment! hahaha.

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  14. I'm so sorry that you're not feeling well. Hope your headaches disappear after a while.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much, and thank you for visiting!

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  15. Sorry you are suffering. I get migraine headaches!

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

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    1. Andrew, thank you! So sorry you have migraines, too... :(

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