Wednesday, February 26, 2014

When the darkness closes in...


I'm furious with my big brother.

I've documented in great detail here about how obnoxious and annoying my big brother is; how he's a terrible loser and an even worse winner, how we still pick at each other like we're 5 and 10 years old and no one can stand to be around us because we're so much alike; and how he's the best dad and big brother in the world.


He's a big jerk.

On Monday, he told me he had leukemia. Chronic Myelocytic Leukemia.

My stupid brother has stupid cancer.

I'm so, so mad at him.

I'm crying even as I type this. How dare he have this happen to him? We've always been Johnny and Michelle, and now he's going through something I can't help him with.

My typical brother:

John: I have leukemia.
Michelle: (crying)
John: Why are you crying? Other than the leukemia, I'm in perfect health!

And later:

John: (blah, blah, blah)
John:...And no matter what, do NOT ask me how I'm feeling, I'm already sick of it, I feel fine! I mean it! Don't ask me!!!

(sigh)

The prognosis is good. I just feel a little beat down, what with my grandma's cancer and then my things and then my grandpa's brain tumor and I don't wanna hear the prognosis is good I wanna hear that my brother is going to be perfect as good as new as obnoxious and annoying as ever.

I love my big brother. I'm not really mad at him...well, no more than usual. :)

Love y'all, goodnight. :)

30 comments:

  1. What a shock! His bravado aside, he is understandably frightened and told you because he needs you to know. He must love you very much.

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    1. Thank you so much, Geo.
      Yes he does...I'm so lucky.

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  2. Of course, he's going to be okay...you two have many, many more years of perpetual childhood together. I think he told you because he needs you to be strong enough to carry on like nothing is wrong. In other words, keep busting his chops every chance you get. If you stop doing that, then he'll stop believing he's going to get through this. Does that make any sense? If not, chalk it up to it being late at night and this genius only functions from 10am to 3pm.

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    1. I think you're right. I guess I won't stop arguing with him about who gets the best chair over at my grandpa's. I like the perpetual childhoold line, too...more genius!

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  3. Maybe he is more worried about you than himself. He sounds strong with a lot of spunk...he'll kick it. I'll be thinking about you guys. Take care of yourself.

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  4. Thank you so much, Susie. He is very strong...

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  5. I am so sorry to hear this but I LOVE his attitude! Attitude is half the battle - even doctors will tell you that. I pray for a full recovery for your big brother.

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    1. Thank you so much Keith! I think maybe he is keeping this attitude because all the women in his life are worried sick, but I'm not complaining. I'm willing to bicker with him forever if that's what he wants... :)

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  6. My brother's dire cancer diagnosis last year was shocking and disheartening. I understand how unsettling this can be for you. Be kind to yourself and good wishes to you both.

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    1. Thank you so much! Yes, that's exactly how I felt, utter shock, and then my heart sank. I'm so sorry you went thru something similar, bit you've helped me, thank you...

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  7. Oh, Michelle, I have no words to express how I truly feel. My heart and prayers go out to you both. I'd be pissed at my brother too while holding him close to me. Hugs.

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    1. Elsie, thank you so much, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you!

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  8. I'm dealing with my mother. I'd hate for one of my siblings to battle the same sort of thing, too...

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    1. I hate to hear that about your mother, Tony, I'm so sorry. My grandmother battled ovarian cancer for two years and that's when I realized just how awful and terrible cancer is, I hate it, I hate it.

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  9. That sucks a ton, but his attitude is awesome. A positive attitude can get you very far too.

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    1. His attitude is really good and I'm so glad...he can be overconfident sometimes but in this case I think that's good, too - one thing my brother does not lack is confidence and usually it's annoying bur right now I'm counting on it!

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  10. I like Geo.'s comment, Mitch. I'm heartbroken at reading this. Sending you my love.

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    1. I like it, too...Geo. always knows the perfect thing to say. Thank you so very much, Suze.

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  11. I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I hope he feels better soon. Being sick is no fun especially when he needs to undergo all the treatments.

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    1. Thanks so much! :)
      Yeah, the side effects of the treatment is what's going to make him feel pretty sick in the next few weeks. There just seems to be no way to gently get rid of cancer. I hope he feels better soon too. :)

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  12. Shocking Michelle. Really shocking !
    Count on us to give you and him support during this difficult phase. Prognosis is good, so be cheerful :)
    Will remember you and him in prayers, let Him cure your bro asap. God bless !

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    1. Raj, we all need all the prayers we can get, thank you so much!

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  13. Oh I'm so sorry to hear this. How terrible on top of the other serious things that you mention:( I hope your brother soldiers through the treatments and comes out healthy so that he can be obnoxious again. I have an obnoxious brother with a bad cancer and while he's sick I can no longer beat up on him for being obnoxious. Only when he feels better, then I can have at it.

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    1. I wonder if all brothers are obnoxious? :) I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's cancer!
      I plan on taking my cues from John - the better he feels, the more obnoxious he is, so the more I can spar with him.
      I wonder if sisters like us only help our brothers be more obnoxious?

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  14. Replies
    1. Thank you very much, Mr. Squid. :) I appreciate it.

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  15. Michelle, you should go to bed early. ;-)

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    1. I'm really thinking that's part of my problem! I somehow find myself still awake at 1, when I have to get up at 6. I'm thinking I'll try 9 or 9:30?

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  16. My older brother was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 3. Thankfully after much treatment, he came through and lives a very healthy life. Punch your brother for me, and then give him a hug. I know how devastating this kind of news can be, but I think we need it to remind us of what matters most in life.

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    1. Definitely! I'm so glad to hear that about your brother, thank you so much for telling me that. :)
      You are awesome!

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