Sunday Minutes...

 
It's one of my favorite paintings...:)
The lightbulb is out in my bedroom...it's kind of nice...I probably won't think that in the morning!
It's 11:00 p.m. ... I put my daughter in bed over an hour ago, and she's still awake, up and down, re-tucked in twice, and it seems her sinus troubles are back and I had to give her more medicine...(sigh)...
The mantra of all parents: "I just wish she would go to sleep..." anytime now...and why is she sick again anyway?  Why didn't that Zithromax work?!  I mean, I guess it did work, but only for a couple weeks, it seems...(SIGH)...
My Sunday:
8:00 a.m.: Up and in the shower...
8:30 a.m.: My daughter up and eating breakfast...
8:50 a.m.: Skirmish #1 between daughter and self...(involving hair accessories)...
8:55 a.m.: Skirmish #2 between daughter and self...(involving shoes)...
8:57 a.m.: Sent daughter out of house and next door to grandparents so they could take her to church... (No, I wasn't being mean!  She always goes to church with them.  Something about me being late everywhere I go and her not wanting to be late, I don't know...)
9:05 a.m.: Open door to D, who's come to pick me up for church. 
9:20 a.m.: Actually leaving for church.
9:30 a.m.: In Sunday School, ON TIME I might add, thank you very much.  I go to the 'Single Again' Sunday School Class at my church, which was started for people in our church who had been divorced.  Only one divorced person actually goes to the class, everyone else is part of a couple.  And then there's me, the only single never married mom at my church, that I know of at least...
10:20 a.m.: Going over to church, headed for my usual back row...
10:30 a.m.: Safely ensconced in the back row on the right, with daughter, D, mother, brother (SIL is home sick, unfortunately) :(, and Donna, Steve, and little Mackenzie :) (newly home from China, yay!)...My grandparents and aunt also go to my church, but they sit near the front...no way can I sit up there...nephew is in children's church, which is a very good thing to have...
12 noon: Church is over, it's been a very good time, having spent most of it admiring the beautiful baby Mackenzie...
12:!5 p.m.: Safely in the car, having been sidelined by several people...including the preacher, complimenting me on the decorations for the missions conference we're having this week.  And a couple of people who stopped me to tell me they were going to be at church tonight...(well, DARN, since when did I get so visible? Now I have to be there tonight!  haha  No really, just kidding...sort of...)
12:20 p.m.: On the way to lunch, we saw a boat on the side of the road.  Cool!  I was all for stopping and towing it.  "No," D said, "we don't have a hitch."  Oh.  "Well," I said, "Call your brother, doesn't he have one?"  Then I got a long lesson from D on 'stealing', as in 'just because it's on the side of the ride doesn't mean you can take it, it's just like a car'.  See, I'm one of those non-moral Democrats, I don't know these things! LOL! (Kidding, kidding, well, not about the Democrat part, I AM A DEMOCRAT AND PROUD OF IT!, but about the non-moral part, I didn't REALLY intend to steal the boat, THAT much, I mean, where would I put it?).
Okay, I'm done with this, not even halfway through my day and I'm tired of writing about it!  We went out to lunch, I came home and did dishes, laundry, computer, then we went shopping to fill up more shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child, went back to church, where I will be spending my life for the next few days for this missions conference, watched the beautiful Mackenzie some more until they turned off the lights and showed a movie and I fell asleep (it's not my fault, it's that migraine medicine I'm taking!), left church, went out to dinner (Mexican), and finally came home (thank goodness!).
I hope my daughter is feeling better in the morning, I think she's finally asleep, I don't hear her tossing and turning anymore...
We had a couple more skirmishes today that I forgot to mention...but even with the skirmishes, I'm very blessed to have such a wonderful, beautiful, generous child.

New York in April?

My sleep patterns are all messed up...since my doctor put me on a million different medicines, my eyes shut at 11 p.m. ... and then I wake up at 4 a.m. ... and then I try to go back to sleep, and then oversleep...
And today, my daughter doesn't have school which SHOULD mean an extra hour of sleep for me (yay!), but instead, here I am, wide awake... :(
I've been way too busy lately...I can't help but think, if I had gone to school this semester like I was supposed to, how in the world would I be managing it?  Even scarier, how will I manage it in January?  Best not to think about things like that, though...Better to just blindly move forward and assume things will work out...they usually do...
Well, my daughter brought home, FINALLY, the information on this year's middle school field trip.  After last year's less than stellar time (for a recap, see here), I'd decided that it didn't matter WHERE they were going, we were not falling for it again.  The thought of watching my tender 12-year old girl be ignored by all the snobby girls who go on the trip (because, as we discovered last year, only the snobby girls go on trips like this, the regular nice girls stay home) is NOT my idea of fun.  But then she brings home this year's destination: New York City...
See, I'm weak, and a traveler at heart, which is a bad combination...
I've been to eight different countries and twenty-three different states...I've been to Windsor Castle and the Black Forest, I've been to the Badlands in South Dakota and Pikes Peak in Colorado...but I've never been to NEW YORK CITY.
So what am I going to do?  She's already begging me, "Please, pleeeaaaasssseeee, Mommy, can we go? Please?".  I've reminded her of how things went last time, but she keeps assuring me that the snobby girls don't matter, as long as we have each other (does my girl know how to work it or what? LOL!). 
I just have a bad feeling that I'm going to cave, what with her constant pressure and my avarice to go somewhere new.  Is caving such a bad thing?
I'm already going around humming songs like "New York State of Mind"...

What time is it in Iraq?

Fallujah...
Scary place, and the name brings fear, and it's all I've been thinking about the past few days...
I love our men and women over there and I'm praying for them and their families.

Not tonight...

Why is life so hard sometimes?
Okay, wait...is it LIFE that's so hard, or HUMAN LIFE that's so hard?
Because plants are alive, but I refuse to believe that they have a hard life.
I'm also assuming that all human life is hard, when maybe it's just MY human life (as opposed to my non-human life!).  I would ask the question, Why is MY life so hard sometimes?, but it just doesn't sound right.  I KNOW life is hard for EVERYONE sometimes.
Is the answer that most common..."Because if it were easy, everyone would do it!"  Of course not!  Everyone does do it!
It can't be the 'Job' thing (as in Book of, not employment)...can it?  We ALL can't be Job.
I don't know...
Maybe life is so hard sometimes to show what an amazing gift it really is.  Life hurts but it can also be glorious, and it's always REAL.

Call me...Shelly?

There are lots of things to be learned from the baby picture contest currently going on at work.  Today was the last day to bring your picture...the contest will be held Monday.
Scenario: Bring in your baby picture (0-5 years old)...it gets put onto the bulletin board...with no name...
Objective: Be the one to correctly match the most baby pictures to your co-workers.
This is what I learned:
1. I learned that EVERYONE loves baby pictures!  There were about 45 pictures on the bulletin board today, and at all times you couldn't walk past it without five or six people standing there, admiring the pictures and puzzling out who was who.  Not much work was done today, unless you count the intense studying of the bulletin board.
2. I learned that it doesn't matter how old you get...Just about everyone, including me, got their baby pictures by asking their mother to get one out for them. 
3. I learned that great memories can come unexpectedly...I experienced another sweet moment with my grandparents and my great-aunt, when I went over to see if my grandma might have a different picture that my mom didn't.  We started looking at REALLY old pictures, of my great-great and three greats grandparents!  It was great to hear some stories that I'd never heard before.
4. I learned that I could feel a little sad over the loss of a name...Up until I started Kindergarten, everyone called me Shelly...and then suddenly stopped.  I don't remember when everyone called me Shelly, and it's always disconcerting to meet someone from my parent's past who doesn't know that my name has changed..."Shelly?"... "No, Michelle".  My grandfather on my dad's side was the only one who refused to change names, he called me Shelly until the day he died. 
The point is, I pulled out one of my baby pictures and got quite a shock when I turned it over and it said, Shelly, 1 1/2 years. 
Who?  Oh right, that's me...
5. I learned that if I'm going to enter a baby contest and try to stump people, I need to think a little smarter.  I picked out a picture that looked completely different from me now...I THOUGHT.  The picture I picked was me at three years old...with blond hair and bangs, not like me at all now!
So I confidently took the picture in, sure that no one would know it was me.  But guess what?  EVERYONE knew it was me.  People from all over the floor were coming to me...hey Michelle, you're #40, right?
What gave me away?
MY OWN DAUGHTER, apparently, if you listen to anyone that has ever seen my blond-haired, blue eyed daughter, or the pictures of her on my desk! 
So...to stump people on the baby pictures...It would be a good idea to try NOT to enter the picture that shows you as a lookalike to your child!  You WILL be found out!
This contest hasn't even started, and it has been great fun so far!

20 questions...

I convinced my daughter to go to bed...it was about 10:30 p.m. (only an hour after her bedtime!)...
I was completely exhausted from the parenting effort this evening.  I climbed in my own bed, telling myself it was for just a minute, and then I would get back up and finish cleaning and then go to sleep.
But...I was watching the pretty pictures on my computer and I fell asleep.  And woke up at 2 a.m., feeling VERY refreshed! LOL  So I took my nighttime meds and I'm waiting to get tired again to go back to sleep...
In the meantime, I saw these twenty questions on Heather's journal, and I haven't done any in a while, so here goes...:
1. What's your favorite Halloween candy?
Anything with chocolate and peanut butter.  I think that means Reese's! 
2.You're stranded on a tropical island with 2 people. One is really attractive but dumb as a post and the other is smart and funny but not that attractive who do you spend your time with? 
But are they NICE?, that's the important thing...
3.What color is your toothbrush?
Dark pink and white
4. Have you or a friend ever seen a ghost?
No, no ghost.  Wait...my friend Heather has!
5. What's your favorite horror movie?
I can't watch horror movies anymore.  They stay with me and terrorize melong after I see them...Wait...I guess I'll have to say Scream 2, I convinced myself to go to the movies and see it even though I had a phobia.  I'm still deeply regretting it, although I really liked the movie.  I haven't been able to see Scream 3 and I don't plan on it!  I instead went to moviespoiler.com and got the scoop on it.
6. Have you ever met the person you thought was the one? 
Yes.
7. Whose your favorite stand-up comic?
Of all-time?  Janean Garofalo
8. Have you ever asked someone out? 
Romantic-wise? No, I've always been the askee, not the asker.  I'm shy.
9. What's your least favorite color?
I don't have one.
10. Are there any celebrities you have a crush on?
You mean besides Ed Harris?  No...
11. What's your favorite holiday special cartoon?
Rudolph!
12. What was the last cd you bought?
Jeff Buckley - Grace
13. What's your favorite song?
Too many to count...
14. Microwave popcorn or potato chips?
Ruffles...
15.  If you had one day to do whatever you wanted what would you do?
I have to think about this one...the first thing I think of is to clean off this stupid desk, as it has only gotten worse since the last time I complained about it.  I don't know what's holding me back.
16. What was your favorite tv show as a child?
I didn't watch much TV as a child...my dad had control of the TV...and when we lived in Germany we only got one American channel...I'm going with THE COSBY SHOW.
17. What the first thing you notice about a person?
Their hair, of course.  What, you don't?
18. What was your first date like?
I honestly cannot remember my first date. 
19. Where was the last place you went out to eat or the last place you ordered take out from?
Cracker Barrel...
20. What did you have to eat?
Homestyle chicken, hash browns plain with onion (no cheese), french fries.  The best thing is you get two huge pieces of chicken, so I also had leftover Cracker Barrel for lunch today! Yay!

No buttonholes...

I've been homesick for my journal...all day I think, I must remember to write this in my journal...then events conspire to keep me from composing an entry that night.  So here I am, stealing moments in the morning before I start getting ready for work...

I can't believe it's Monday and tomorrow really is election day.  Thank goodness!  I've kept away from political comments here...or any kind of comments, really...but why not change? It's my journal!

So here goes...

(Politics Lite)...

I had already fallen for D and we were entrenched in our relationship before it was revealed to me that he was a...Republican.  Yes, it turns out that my love is a Republican.  How did that happen?  He's such an easy-going and, well, nice person, my radar didn't catch on to it at all!  He's very low-key about it, so it's hard to spot at first.  But it's definitely there...

It's been very hard.  He's not dyed-in-the-wool...he's more of a moderate-type, I think...I'm not sure, I don't know much about Republicans!  Just that they're not me!  The reason that it's hard is specifically because he IS so easy-going and low-key, I forget sometimes that he is what he is.

Until...

The other night, for instance, an ad came on TV for someone running for US Senate.  So of course, I'm thinking, do these people really think we're so stupid as to fall for these ads, come on, I'm researching the issues, leave me alone already!  But then D says, "I'm not voting for so-and-so because he supports THIS", spouting the ad word for word. 

ACK!

I forgot who I was with! 

So of course, I accused him of being Mr. Party line all the way, and he accused me of being a liberal left-winger, and I called him a Republican sheep, and he called me a tree-hugger...

Sheep!

Tree-hugger!

Sheep!

Tree-hugger!

Life is SO interesting and fun, sometimes.

:)

Blueberry candles...

I went to the doctor yesterday...again...this time specifically for my migraines.  He asked me how I was doing with the Topamax he gave me last week.
Oh.
You know, I vaguely remembered him giving me that sample packet, and a prescription, and saying it would help my headaches...but what I really heard was that it would make me sleepy, so, I didn't take it.  Didn't even think about it anymore. 
Turns out that was the wrong move.
My doctor very gently explained why I start taking minimal doses...at bedtime...for that very reason...etc., etc.
I humbly agreed to take the medicine he prescribes for me from now on.  I also now have to take some kind of blood pressure medicine, along with 800 mg Ibuprofen as needed, along with the happy medicine I was already taking.  Five different medicines in all...I don't think I'm THAT sick, actually, I just think he likes to write prescriptions.
I lit a blueberry candle when I got home from work ... that was about six p.m.  I've moved it from the living room into my bedroom, and I'm looking at it now.  For some reason it's just really calmed and contented me all evening...I don't know if it's because of the smell, or if it's because I lit it.
I have to go to bed now and I hate to blow it out.  Blueberry candles, what an epiphany...

I'm through...

My head hurts...
Why has my head hurt every day for the last month?  Why why why?
I take it back, I think there were two days this month that I didn't have to take any headache medicine.  But for the most part, it's been like today, my head gripped in this intense migraine that not even Excedrin can get rid of...
It's really affecting my rosy outlook on life, you know?
I got the bank straightened out, for now, and it only cost me $180 in overdraft charges.  Yes...$180.  My head hurts so much I'm not even calling them to complain...maybe if I feel better...someday...I'll have the strength to argue with them!
My daughter has finally gone to bed.  I practically had to beg...if I wasn't suffering this debilitating headache, she wouldn't have gotten past me and past her bedtime like this.  This is a sure indication that she's feeling better, since first she was doing something with her beads/craft kit...and then her fingernails didn't look right...and then she wanted to read the last chapter of her book. (sigh) Okay, there's no 'practically' about it, I DID have to beg!
Is there life outside this headache?  What's life like without this headache?  Are there people having fun out there, with no headaches?
Headache, headache...will you PLEASE GO NOW?!

Strange noises...

Catching up...
My daughter did have a sinus infection when we took her to the doctor, and they put her on Zithromax and something for the sinus drainage...
She was so miserable.  I took her last Sunday and they said bed rest, Motrin, etc. ... why couldn't they have given her the antibiotic then?  Is it because it was acute care?  (sigh) I'm just a little frustrated over having to take her BACK to the doctor just a few days later, even sicker...
But she is doing much better now.  I hope...I've said that before and then she got sick again!  But not this time, right?!!! 
I have so much I want to talk about, but by the time I sit down it's time for bed!  (okay, past time, since it's now 3:12 a.m. and I have to get up at 6 a.m.!).  I'm going to be sensible now and go claim my two and half hours sleep! :)
More tomorrow...

Whew!

There are some very bad things going on with my checking account this week...I've decided that ignoring it is the best course of action.
I thought my daughter was doing better, but she woke up twice last night, crying, with ear pain...I'm taking her to the doctor tomorrow morning.  That will make the fourth doctor visit for us, in the last five days...I'm hoping this is the last one for a while.  It seems to be just at night that she is having problems, once she gets up and gets moving she seems to be fine.  That makes me think it's drainage, causing her ears to hurt and her cough to get worse at night...I'm not sure, hopefully this doctor tomorrow will help us a little more!
I've been kind of out of sync and my journal is suffering because of it...I miss it!
My grandma wanted to know what we thought about drawing names for Christmas this year, instead of buying for everybody (not including the kids, they will get presents from everyone).  GREAT!  It means less presents for me, but also more money for me!  GREAT!  So I asked my mom how she thought we would do my boyfriend's gift, since he usually gets my mom and my grandparents something, and they get him something, but he doesn't buy for the rest of the family (aunts, cousins, brother, SIL, etc.), so we wouldn't want to put his name in and draw my SIL, for instance.
My mom was stumped by that one...until she glared at me and said, "You know, you would solve so many problems by just marrying him!"
"What? You want me to marry him so we can solve the present-giving issue?"
"Yes!"
LOL This is a new one!

Cold, oh so cold...

I haven't turned my heat on yet...and it's so, so cold in my house.  I have an old-fashioned floor furnace, and I have to vacuum it out before turning the heat on.  I meant to do it today, but of course I procrastinated all day long and didn't get it done.  Well, really, it's called "laziness".
I got caught by surprise last night by how cold it was and ended up sleeping with extra clothes on, and double blankets...I got so cold I put my bathrobe on as well, and nice warm socks.  This morning, when I got up, I turned on the stove, left the oven door open, and had to sat in front of it for a half hour before I felt warm.
I promise I will clean the furnace out tomorrow.  It has to be cleaned out before it's turned on...I made the mistake once before of getting too cold and turning it on in the middle of the night when I hadn't first cleaned it, and was promptly followed an hour later by the piercing sound of the smoke alarm.  It's very scary being woken up by that!  But at least I know it works...
Midnight Madness was ALL THAT and more...(Friday night - the first official college basketball practice for the University of Kentucky)...thousands of crazy UK fans milling around downtown Lexington in the middle of the night...huge roar from the crowd as they opened the doors to Memorial Coliseum.  All kinds of fun events inside led up to the 12:01 a.m. appearance of this year's team.  By far the most applause came when Ashley Judd (UK basketball's most famous fan) was introduced and walked into the stadium...she got a standing ovation...I think people were more excited to see her than they were to see Tubby Smith!  Well, okay, that's understandable, because you know, she's ASHLEY JUDD, but still...hello, basketball?...never mind. 
I had to take my daughter to acute care today, she is not feeling well at all...the doctor said they have seen quite a few patients there in the past few days with the same thing and it should clear up in a few days.  She went through stages allday, where she would feel really good and get out puzzles or start cutting paper...and then she would feel bad again and lay down for a while.  I wish she would have just rested all day, but it wasn't going to happen!
Tomorrow is parent-teacher conferences and her follow-up appointment (not for being sick, the other doctor).  I'm a little apprehensive, about both...
I hope this week goes well!

Around the world and far away...

My calendar here at home is still on September...I just noticed that.
That's nothing, I was in my daughter's room the other day and noticed hers was on July.
I've always been vague, and floaty.  Today, influenced by Angel's journal, I thought briefly about opening my eyes and looking around at my life and relationships.
Then I realized why I'm vague, and floaty...what if I look around and don't like what I see?  What if I have to make a change? 
I'm putting my head back in the sand now...maybe sometime in the future I'll try again.
GOOD NEWS:
Today was the big day...Donna and Steve finally have Mackenzie!  I'm so happy for my dear friends...this has been a long, long time coming.  They'll be in China for another 1 1/2 weeks, then they're bringing her home!

Just a little silliness...

I sent C off to school this morning, headache-free...still stomach-achy, but I'm attributing that more to going-to-school jitters since I hear that from her roughly every single morning before school, and never on the weekends (!)...
And then I went off to work, with a massive headache...
I had 50 new emails waiting for me when I got there...
A huge stack of paperwork...
In 45 minutes I had three different people come to my desk with major problems that they've apparently been holding onto for me to handle when i got back...my mind swimming with news of a lost $5000 check...a $1.2 million combined shipment...a refund gone awry...
All I wanted to do was finish eating my granola bar (peanut butter and chocolate chunk, please don't think for a minute that it's anything remotely healthy!), drink my first diet Pepsi of the day, and take my three Excedrin Migraines, while scrolling through my emails.
So when I got the following silly email, it made me laugh and I had to post it, even though some of the things NO ONE will understand unless they've lived here, and some of the things are typical of every city, I'm sure...but I still love it!  I have added some disclaimers here and there, though...
You Know You're From Louisville When...
Your "International" airport has only one passenger flight that actually leaves the 48 contiguous U.S. states.
The in-state sports rivalry is given more attention than the national championship.  (1)
You live in an area that occasionally gets considerable snowfalls, floods, and tornadoes... but has no capacity to deal with any of the above. 
You pronounce the name of your city different than anyone else you've heard.  (2)
You ask your doctor for an allergy cure and he tells you to "move."
You've shoveled 10+ inches of snow and worn shorts in the same week.
When people ask what school you went to, they don't mean Vanderbilt, Yale, or Harvard; they mean Male, Manual, Trinity or St. X.  (3)
You know what the Bambi Walk is.
You make an emergency run to Kroger for bread and milk at the first sighting of a snowflake.
At least four times a year, you see a semi truck wedged under the train tracks down by U of L...and the truck driver shaking his head at the clearly marked sign that said his truck wouldn't fit...
You've lived here for years, yet somehow you get hopelessly lost each time you attempt a shortcut through Cherokee Park.
You're convinced turn signals are useless options on a vehicle.
You hold up traffic to let a motorist you don't know into your lane.
You have never been to the Derby, but wouldn't miss the Oaks.  (4)
You call in sick to attend the Oaks and spot your boss - who also called in sick - at the next betting window. 
You think all the REAL hicks live in New Albany.
You think the only thing Southern Indiana is good for is buying pumpkins.
You've built a shrine to Rick Pitino in your basement.  (5)
You want another bridge built over the Ohio River, just so long as it doesn't cut through YOUR neighborhood.
You've experienced a "salt storm" after a two-inch snowfall.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Louisville.
disclaimers...: )...
(1) unless, of course, your team has recently won the national championship and lost the in-state game!
(2) and you occasionally pronounce it differently yourself, depending on your mood.  Right now, I'm pronouncing it like this: "LEWUHVUL".
(3) LOL at this one, I went to one of those 'chosen' schools listed and it's true, I'm insufferably proud of it!
(4) Come on, of course I've been to the Derby!  And worked the Derby a few times, too...but the Derby is an occasional thing, tempered by years of getting up the nerve to face the traffic, whereas the Oaks is a MUST, every year.
(5) It's depending on your blue/red affiliation as to whether you STILL have the shrine...
I don't...LOL!
I'm pretty sure we're going to Midnight Madness down in Lexington this Friday...I'm so excited!

Stand

I realized that it's been a while since I posted anything.  I've been terrifically busy, getting nothing done...
We survived the weekend...my weekends are so busy I almost long for Monday.
My daughter is feeling better.  Or so she says.  I'm still worrying about the headaches...she didn't complain all day Saturday, but tonight she said she had a headache again.
We went to Six Flags Saturday for the FrightFest.  Of course, she and I both are big scaredy-cats and wouldn't go in the Haunted House!  She rode some roller coasters, we played some games, and my boyfriend limped around with a grimace on his face (courtesy of rheumatoid arthritis - he's only 36!).  It was a great time!
We saw a beautiful tree this weekend in fall colors.  My daughter coined it "Sunset Red".
I walked around a corner and saw the huge wooden rollercoaster at an angle from which I had never seen it before...I was amazed by the beauty and symmetry of it.  It's wonderful that people can design such things.
One of my 5th-graders in Awana tonight finally was able to memorize the Old Testament books of the Bible.  She's been trying to do this since April, and has been unable to get past the first three...she has some learning disabilities and it just seemed an insurmountable task.  I did some research on a different way for her to learn it...the best suggestion I saw was divide it up, and let her say it in sections, and once she gets past a section, that's it and she never has to go back to it.  Tonight I sat down with her and it was absolutely amazing!  Just the simple act of dividing it up and going over it in bits clicked something inside of her brain, and she was able to breeze through it.  She was so proud of herself, and I was so proud of her!  I really love that part of working in Awana...
I'm a little apprehensive about going back to work tomorrow.  It's a combination of not being sure how my supervisor tookme taking three days off unexpectedly, and the fact that I haven't been there in so long...I've gotten used to staying home, and I really like it.  Also, while I've been off, I discovered 'Charmed' comes on at 9 a.m. every morning and I'm going to have to start videotaping it so I don't miss anything.  I may also set the timer to pick up DS9 while I'm at it...most of the TNG episodes I already have, at least.
Obviously, it only takes a few days for me to get completely addicted to the TV.
I still haven't got my ducks in a row, quite...I'm working on it.  I still have a nagging worry about my daughter...wondering if it will ever go away.  I didn't take my medicine today...forgot.
Saturday afternoon, before going to Six Flags, we stopped over at my nephew's soccer game.  It was hard-fought...exciting...and suddenly there seemed to be twice as many players on my nephew's team than on their opponents'!  They were scoring goals!  What's happening here?!
Wait...
Oh, I see, two of the other teams players are over there...they chased the butterfly to the edge of the field...they're jumping in the air...butterfly is gone now...they're giving it up and sauntering back to join the game.
There is nothing more fun than watching three-year-old boys and girls playing soccer!

Curious sense of inertia

I can't get moving...
I've gotten back into playing Solitaire, Vegas style.  I'm currently -$653.  I just need one more hand, one more hand, so I don't lose my house...
My daughter didn't go to school Tuesday, or Wednesday.  I stayed home with her, even though I didn't have any days left at work.  Who needs a job?
She went back to school today and I thought, okay, why not take another day off (and really be poor)?  This way, I can get rid of some stuff in her room!  I can never get rid of anything in there while she's home, because she absolutely NEEDS everything she has.  She has stuff in there she hasn't looked at in ten years.  So I got a garbage bag for all the McDonald's toys and scrap paper, and a box to put books in.  She has the same book problem I do, too many books and too little space.
I was really getting somewhere, too, but then I got a call from school to go pick her up, still sick.  So I go get her, bring her back home, and WWIII starts when she realizes I've messed with her books. ! ! ! 
I don't know what I was thinking.  I'm very possessive of my books, and, guess what, so is she!
She was very mad at me.
85% of the books that I had packed to go to Salvation Army are now back on the shelves.  She begrudgingly let me have the other 15%, only because they are books that she either had duplicates of, or never finished because she didn't like them..
I hope she feels better tomorrow...I'm a little worried because she's complaining of a headache, and that's rare for her, especially off and on for two days now.  I hear tummy ache often, but not headache.  I'm taking her to the doctor tomorrow if she still doesn't feel well in the morning.
Otherwise, things are going okay...still having some problems but I'm working through them.  I have a beautiful daughter, and wonderful family and friends.  I'm very blessed and thankful to be here!
 

Thanks, Gordo

Faith 7
Gemini 5
American hero...
Always cool...
 The Mercury 7: From left to right, Scott Carpenter, Gordon Cooper, John Glenn, Gus Grissom, Walter Schirra, Alan Shepard, and Deke Slayton.
For an exaggerated Gordo, read The Right Stuff by Tom Wolfe (or see him portrayed by Dennis Quaid in the movie of the same name!)...
For the real Gordo, read his fascinating autobiography, Leap of Faith: An Astronaut's Journey into the Unknown, published in 2000.
Yes, he really did take a little nap while waiting out the interminable countdown on the last Mercury flight.  Cool, I tell you!
He lived a full and amazing life.  I'll always appreciate what he did for the space program.  Though his life extended far beyond his astronaut years, here is what he wrote just a few years ago, in the final words of his autobiography:
"I was asked recently what I would do if an alien spacecraft landed in my backyard and offered me a ride.  "Would you go or stay, Gordo?"
"Stepping aboard a ship from a distant world could result in something more than an afternoon joyride, I know.  If there is interdimensional travel - and I believe there is - I could return to "Earth time" and find my loved ones and friends long deceased.
"I love my wife and daughters, and I enjoy spending time with my friends and old flying buddies, and I would miss them all.  But I'm still an astronaut at heart.
"I'm going."
Gordon Cooper, NASA Mercury Pioneer, Dies

Dawn is breaking

When we first moved to Germany, I was ten years old, and, as an Army brat, used to moving.  What I wasn't used to was living somewhere where my grandmother wasn't just a weekend visit away...she was a whole ocean away!  I thought I would die of homesickness - in this case, home meant my grandparents.
The first little town I lived in...

That's me in the apron and white hat...the town held a parade and invited some of the Americans living on their economy to participate.  My brother is holding one of the flags, my mom is the Indian, and my dad is the cowboy.
We were quite geeky.  Maybe we still are...

Much the same...

The pile is still on top of my monitor...it's kind of leaning over, like it will fall any minute.
I used to live in a city in Germany that had a leaning tower.  The story goes that way back when the tower was being built, there was a drought and so wine instead of water was used to mix the mortar being used to build the tower, and therefore the mortar wasn't as strong as it should be...

It was quite fun to tour the tower.  You would climb and climb stairs to get to the top, and by the time you got up there the tilt was very pronounced and it was very hard to stand up! 
I still miss the little city where I spent part of my growing up years.  I don't know if I'll ever get to go back there.  We lived by a vineyard, where we used to ride our bikes in the summer, and go sledding in the winter.  I would go to school in the winter and, riding in the bus across the new bridge over the Main River, see great sheets of it frozen...when we came back to Louisville in 1986 the Ohio River was so huge, I've never seen it frozen over....
We used to pick plums from our neighbor's yards, and would then get promptly scolded by old German women.  We had schnitzel for dinner almost every night...it was a treat when our parents would take us out to eat and we could get hamburgers and fries...or pommes frites as we called them there.  An even bigger treat was the occasional trip to the big city of Wurzburg, where we could go to McDonald's!
I came back to the States when I was almost thirteen years old...having spent my crucial growing up years in a different country, it was major culture shock!
to be continued...

The earth is round...

I'm trying to catch up on journals and my stupid computer keeps kicking me off, so I'm giving up for the night and will try again tomorrow...sometime...
I know that there are people who are very neat and don't have a procrastinating problem or a packrat problem - I even know some people like that.  I wish I was like that.  The reason I bring this up is because my whole bedroom is beyond belief.  I keep the rest of the house looking really great, but for some reason I cannot extend that to this room.  I have stacks and stacks of papers, folders, books, CDs...everywhere!  I also don't understand why my desk at home looks like this, while my desk at work is extremely well organized.
For a small illustration, we'll just note what's on top of my computer monitor (from bottom up):
2 really thick folders (I have no idea what's in them), 6 or 7 cards and drawings, another folder, book (boy meets girl by Meg Cabot), 2 magazines, book (Holocaust Poetry), lots more papers, including instruction booklets, bills, etc. etc., another book (Bridget Jones:The Edge of Reason by Helen Fielding), lots more papers, a packet of school pictures, another book (The Folk of the Fringe by Orson Scott Card), a packet of Y softball pictures, another magazine, and a ton of bills.
I measured it with a ruler - that stack is EIGHT inches tall!  My daughter knocked it off the other day, and it fell into another stack on the desk, and then both stacks fell onto the stack on the floor.  I made her pick it all up and she complained the whole time..."Why do you have stuff on top of your monitor?", and "Why does your desk look like this?", and "Throw some of this stuff away!"
(sigh)
I'm pretty sure this mess happened when, a couple months ago, I rearranged in here and moved the filing cabinet into the closet.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.  Only now, all the stuff that's supposed to go in there is actually sitting in piles everywhere else, because it's so hard to put it back!
I have to be up in less than five hours...no days off for the rest of the year...maybe I'll straighten this up in January, when I have time...at least the rest of the house looks good! LOL

Peace, quiet, blessings untold

Monday was a very bad day here...we've had bad days every day for three weeks, so I was getting used to it.  Then I went to Open House on Monday night, and, wow, did I wish I was somewhere else.  The past three weeks of drama have definitely showed up at school, too.  All her teachers showed me their records, in which my beautiful girl's grades started out A, A, then...nothing.  That's right - weeks worth of assignments not even turned in. 
I KNEW something was up, when she came home every day saying she had no homework!
And then Tuesday morning was bad, also...and I just knew I had to do something different.  I've already done different things ... I took her to our doctor ... then I took her to a different doctor ... they're evaluating different things and I'm really hopeful about it.  But in the meantime, I felt like she was drowning and I needed to do something NOW, instead of waiting for the evaluating to be done with.  I was just so tired of, and worried about, the same terrible events happening every morning and evening...
So I didn't go to work Tuesday.  I took her to school, went back home, picked her back up from school at 3.
I did the same thing Wednesday, and Thursday (today).
I've realized quite a few things, in these three days off.
1.  There are all kinds of great TV programs on during the day.  I normally get to watch only one thing throughout the week, so I had a hard time tearing myself away from the TV.  'Charmed', 'MacGuyver', 'Full House' (!), and lots and lots of classic Trek, TNG, DS9...I noticed from the TV Guide that 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Buffy' were also on, but unfortunately I don't get those channels - it's a good thing I have those series already on tape and DVD!  I'm a TV fanatic, and it's been a long time...
2.  I've been so busy I haven't had time for basic things.  Like vacuuming.  It was a great relief to be able to do such simple, yet mandatory, stuff...
3.  When you get back home after dropping her off at school, that's a really good time for a nap.
4.  The main thing is, I realized the effect that my working so much has had on her.  I've seen many different things happen over the past few days, the most important of which is that my daughter blossoms under my constant attention and encouragement.  The reason I took the last three days off was to spend every waking moment with her...joined at the hip, so to speak.  Picked her up from school...heard the day's good and bad things...got home and sat down with her to do her homework - lots and lots and lots of make-up work to do this week!  It was kind of like she was in prison, but she seemed so happy.
We've had two full drama-free days, and I KNOW it's because of all the care and attention I lavished on her.  There are a few problems, now.  A 12-year old shouldn't have to be constantly monitored and lavished with attention...but I'm sure the counseling will help with that.  Another problem is that I have to go back to work tomorrow, and she will once again be with less patient people until I get off.  I'm really worried about that one.  The worst thing, of course, is that I get home around 6 p.m., and there's just not a lot of quality time, when it's just three hours to get homework, supper, and bath...
It's obvious that I have to do something different...I don't know how...we'll work it out, somehow...
I do know that I'm feeling so much better since I went to the doctor myself, and I'm still feeling hope that things can work out, and I've so enjoyed and appreciated the past few days of peace and laughter. 

Why are these quizzes so disconcerting?

  You have Purple Wings! Lost and Confused, when your wings are purple, it's difficult to see ahead because the fog is clouding your vision. You can never decide easily, and even the simplest choices are difficult to take. A quiet, kind person, you have a very sharp mind and can do anything if you set your mind to it. But something probably very sad happened in your life, and now, you question anything. Lost in your trance and afraid to peek outside your box, right now your life is very frustrating. But, don't forget this very important thing: Purple is made from blue and red, and with just a little bit of pushing, you can go back. What color are your wings? brought to you by Quizilla (Thanks to Angel and Danielle, for the link...)

Wedding music...

Weekend Assignment #24
I've never had a wedding,
And since I don't dance, I've never picked out a first song...
I can tell you what it wouldn't be:
It wouldn't be Def Leppard's 'Love Bites'...
It wouldn't be Nazareth's 'Love Hurts'...
It wouldn't be Elvis Presley's 'Suspicious Minds'...
It wouldn't be Simon and Garfunkel's "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"...
and it really wouldn't be Billy Idol's 'Dancing With Myself'...
Now that I've had time to think about it, here are songs that it would be:
It would be 'The Way You Look Tonight' by Tony Bennett...
It would be 'Everybody Loves Somebody' by Dean Martin...
It would be 'You Send Me' by Sam Cooke...
It would be 'My Love is Deeper' by Randy Travis...
and it most definitely would be 'My Everything' by Barry White!

Feeling...hope?

Well...
(I say that word a lot.  And I've lived in Kentucky since I moved back here in '86...so it's not just, "Well".  Instead, it has a definite twang in there, kind of like, "Weyellllll"... LOL!)
We made it to Thursday.  I'm feeling very hopeful now, and very thankful.  It doesn't necessarily mean the drama is going away, right away...but it does mean that I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
We didn't go to school or work today since we were at the doctor's office most of the day.  I may still go in...I can't stand to think of all the work piling up on my desk for me to do tomorrow...and also, being as how I left early Tuesday, AND Wednesday (more drama), AND I'm out right now, I think it would probably be a good idea...but I'm just so happy to be relaxing at home for the first time in what seems like such a long time...what a dilemma!
Oh, who am I kidding, no way am I going to go in there this late, it's an approved day off and I'm going to take advantage of it!  Plus I'm catching my daughter at her best time, the middle of the day...
And this way I can go to the Y early and get back in time for 'Survivor'.  Not that I'm addicted, or anything.
We've had other quiet times this week, immediately followed by bad times, so I don't know why I'm treating this time differently, except that it IS, and I feel it, and I KNOW it.  It will take some time, but things WILL BE fine again.

No need...

Last night went well...
This morning went well...
I really thought I might get through the day without any drama.  Right up until about 4 p.m. today when I got called at work...
So I had to leave work early...
Hopefully I still have a job...hopefully my supervisor doesn't think less of me because I walked out of there crying...hopefully we'll make it to Thursday in one piece...that's about all I can hope for, I think, because nothing else is working.  I can try to convince myself that it's okay, because tonight went well, but... see above...
I'm just getting so tired.  And I wish there was more than just me.
Wishing is fun, except for when it doesn't help you feel better.

My personal time capsule...

Scalzi' s Weekend Assignment #23: A Personal Time Capsule
100 years from now, your great-great-great-grandchild has been assigned to write a school report on your life and times. Help him or her by putting five things in a time capsule. The five things could include something personal or something that typifies the times we live in. One catch: It can't include a version of your AOL Journal (because that would be too easy, that's why).
Extra Credit: Put something in the box that would believe would be completely puzzling -- something they'd look at and say, "What the heck is this?"
Okay, here it is:
1. Our family history, complete with pictures:
It’s taken a lot of time and research to get know what we know about our family history…it would have been so much easier if, 100 years ago, my great-great-grandmother had put some information in a time capsule for me!
2. A catalog of American music:
Including bluegrass, country, soul, folk, jazz, rock & roll, rap …
3. A copy of the Constitution of the United States:
We’re a baby country yet we have the world’s oldest living constitution…it’s vitally important to our way of life and our freedom.
4. The history of space exploration up to the year 2004:
If we’re on Mars by then, it’ll be a nice relic. If the space program has fallen by the wayside by then, it’ll be an example of the long lost dreams of millions of people.
5. Books:
How can I choose just one? If pressed, I’ll have to choose the ‘Little House’ series by Laura Ingalls Wilder, nothing can beat this look into the American frontier of the 1880s…it shouldn’t be forgotten.
Extra Credit:
My copy of the original soundtrack to ‘Star Trek: The Motion Picture’ on 8-track.  It's very special to me... :)

This day will always be a Tuesday...

It's been three years...yet every time I find myself experiencing a beautiful day, with clear blue skies and perfect temperature, I always think back to another day that started out beautiful. 
I had to go to work at noon that day...at the time I worked for the corporate office of our company's airline.  Security was very high.
A week later, I transferred to the building I work in now.  For a long time, as I was taking the stairs in and out every day, I would think of other people, in other stairwells and other buildings, who might not have made it out. 
I wonder how long this date will make us stop, and think, and pray... I hope forever.

Such is...

I think I will start writing journal entries while I'm at work, and posting them when I get home...things are so much better at work than they are at home.  At least lately, they are.  
Of course, now that I've said that I'll probably get fired next week...  
(Of course I wouldn't write while I was at WORK, I meant while I was on BREAK at work.  I would never ever treat my job in such a way!  Shocked at the assumption!)  ;)  
I work in a high-rise building, but I work on the third floor, so I always take the stairs.  
a)  Because every little bit helps, and  
b)  Because I hate that strange vibe you get in elevators when there's more than just you.  
But one day, for some reason, I got on the elevator instead of taking the stairs.  A man was already standing in there.  I pressed '3', and it didn't light up.  I pressed '3' again.  And again.  And stared at the number panel, dumbfounded.  Why didn't it light up?  Why didn't the door close?  
And finally the man said, "Uh, ma'am, you do know that we're already on the third floor, right?..."   ...  
(sigh) Things like that happen to me all the time, unfortunately...
...
........................................................................................  

I don't get to go back to work until Monday...I'd run away this weekend, but of course I'd have to take the family with me!

Whose life is this?

Mine?
Surely this is not My Life.
Where did I go wrong?
There are things that are good right now.
But the bad things, they're just...they overshadow everything else.
My family is a wreck this week.  Famllies seem to be put on this earth to bring you your greatest happiness...and greatest aggravation...joy...pain...
I guess I need Montel to help me sort it all out.

Two nights in a row? no way...

I was so motivated, too, until Right Now when I realized that I just don't have an entry available...
Some people I'm thinking of right now:
Donna & Steve got their papers and are hoping to travel to China to get their daughter within the next 10 days - it all depends on clearing up the last of the red tape, if they miss this window it will probably push back the trip for over a month, because no one can go there in October...Donna says Steve is ready to swim across the Pacific if he has to...
A good friend of mine has lost her job and is having other family problems and is very discouraged right now.  She's such a great person, I hate to see her so down.
My grandpa doesn't really want to see the farm go and isn't looking forward to it.  I really think that all the work he puts into it helps keep him young...I hope he'll find many other projects to work on.
Not much of an entry...too tired to write or spin...enjoying the cool weather, gentle rain, and soft breezes that the remnants of Frances has brought us...hard to reconcile it...I'm going back to the dentist tomorrow, that's always fun...I'm going to get up before six a.m. so we don't have another morning like this morning, when I ruined my daughter's school day from the very beginning...had a good workout at the Y today - a year ago I would never have believed that those words could come out of my mouth!...now my playlist has shifted and is playing, of all things, "Me and Little Andy" by Dolly Parton...and I'm pretty sure I'll be haunted by Donny and Marie all night long :)...
and how in the world did it get to be 1:27 a.m.?

Goodbye, farm

Goodbye, place of good memories...goodbye, safe haven...goodbye, perfect place for midnight stargazing.
We went down to my grandparents' farm today for a Labor Day picnic and they broke the news to us - they're putting the farm up for sale.
(When we got down there, everyone was outside, enjoying the day...all except for my daughter who had gone down there with them last night.  Where was she?  She's my daughter, of course - inside the house, reading a book, soaking up the air conditioning!)
As my mother so gracefully put it, my grandparents are not getting any younger, and they just can't keep up two places anymore.  I just wish I had the money to buy it from them.  What really breaks my heart is the 65 acres of woodland they have...because no doubt whoever buys it will not see it as 65 acres of beautiful untouched forest...they'll only see the value of the woods as potential lumber.
I'll miss seeing my grandpa as king of all this land...I'll miss seeing deer come right up to the back porch at dusk and dawn...I'll miss the black sky and getting to see millions of stars and the Milky Way, things that my orange-horizoned city never lets me see...
I'll miss the particular grove in the woods that, for some reason, has a lot of evergreen trees and that soft, springy moss that grows beneath, it's the only place like that in the woods and so is very special...I'll miss the field in the clearing that some previous owners made, about which I alternate fantasizing about the house that I would build there, or the baseball field it would be perfect for...
I'll miss having a place to run to when life gets too overwhelming.
I'm so thankful that I knew the place, and I'm thankful for the peace it's given me.
Field of Dreams:

Woo hoo! It's Sunday...

And my daughter just left town with my grandparents to spend the night at their farm -
Free time! Free time! Whatever will I do?
I’m thinking that maybe I’ll start cataloging my books and weeding some out of my bookshelves to make room for the piles of books on my desk and on the floor. I have to do this every so often because I just don’t have enough room, and I hate it! I don’t want to part with ANY of them…
I’m also thinking maybe I’ll try to do the weekend assignment for a change – the problem is that all my favorite pictures are of my daughter, and I just don’t feel comfortable right now posting her picture, so I’ll have to find something else I like…we’ll see…
I just saw the movie ‘Love Actually’, and it is wonderful.
Hey! My daughter’s gone, and I can watch whatever I want on TV, or take a nap, or go out for a jog…wait, I can go out, period, wherever I want…
I just don’t know what to do with myself, it’s like the reverse of when you were a teenager and your parents went out of town (LOL)…
I’m off now, to try and be irresponsible for a few minutes, it’ll be hard but I’ll give it my best shot!
***
p.s.  D's birthday went very well...apparently it doesn't matter what I get him, he loves it, and me, regardless.  :)

No more jittery, let's go to frantic...

Well, it's 12:01 a.m. and officially D's birthday ... OMG it's his BIRTHDAY!  I haven't been shopping, I haven't baked a cake, I haven't made any plans! 
I'm deluding myself into thinking it's really not that bad.  I should get off work tomorrow way before he does... I'll buy cake mix and stuff in the morning.  I wonder if I have time to bake before I go to work?
I haven't bought his present yet, either.  What do you get for someone who doesn't really have any interests, and mostly only works all the time?  Twice a year I have  this dilemma...
(groan)
You know how you start off Monday and think, wow, I have a whole week to get all this stuff done?
And then Thursday night comes and you think, OMG, what did I do all week?!  Where have I been?!
(Answer: Work.  Y.  Daughter's school.  Daughter's doctor's office.  Daughter's volleyball games.  Church.  Walgreens.  Work.  Work.  Work.  Work.  And, of course, computer.) 
I'll pull it all together, though, just wait and see...

Thoughts should have a subject?

Scalzi has written a couple of entries about these guys and so I had to check them out...definitely worth it...
I wish AOL would expand the 'mood' list up there.  Is jittery a mood?  Or is that just a by-product of the Diet Pepsi I just drank?  I wonder if my personality would be different if I didn't drink 5 or 6 Diet Pepsis a day...
I went to my daughter's volleyball game yesterday and they won (yay!) ... it made me think back to my school days and what I did ... which is to say, nothing.  No sports whatsoever...I was completely uninterested in physically exerting myself when I could be reading a book.  She's lucky, she likes to read and she also likes to play, I'm so impressed!
I got into a fracas over the phone today with one of our customers.  He was yelling and wouldn't stop so I had to raise my voice to talk over him, then finally I had to say "Goodbye" and just hang up.  Immediately applause came from all around me, along with comments like, "I didn't know who that was talking...", and "I didn't know you could talk that loud."  I'm normally a very VERY soft-spoken person...my phone conversations with strangers usually consist of 1) someone confusing me with my with a 10-year old (I have a little voice), or 2) someone saying, "I can't HEAR you, SPEAK UP."
It was a little embarrassing...I blushed...
I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight (well, midnight is not really early, I guess), I have to be up at six a.m., I haven't been getting much sleep ...
Probably, drinking Diet Pepsis before bed doesn't help much...

There's a spider in the corner and I'm afraid...

We're at a standoff right now.
My nephew spent the night Friday night and we had great fun.  Unfortunately, he didn't pester my daughter as much as usual...they actually got along for once.  It was not nearly as entertaining (LOL!).
We ventured out to the State Fair again last night, this time to see a free concert. 
Some background:
1.  I love free concerts at the fair.  They're held in the old Cardinal Stadium, always at eight p.m. as the sun goes down...
2.  My grandparents (they do figure into this story) went to three concerts this week.  All country music concerts.  You have never seen a bigger country music fan in the world than my grandmother.  I cannot stress this enough.  And let's emphasize the word 'fan' here, as in 'fanatic'.  She is one of those crazy people who duck under barricades and goes knocking on George Jones's front door.  My heroic grandfather is not a fanatic...he's a mere fan...but in love with my grandmother so he always goes with her!
So we get to the fairgrounds, traipse inside and sit down, and I remember that my grandparents are supposed to be there.  I told D that I knew where they would be sitting - guaranteed, down in the first section, and even though it might be reserved seating, that's still where they would be.
I called my grandma's cell phone, and sure enough, that's where they were...she pointed at landmarks for me to find them by, I located them way down there, my grandma already making people move over so we could sit with them (my grandma is a force to be reckoned with, believe me).
So this is how D and I came to be on a kind of double date with my grandparents (aged 74 and 70, though you wouldn't have known it by the way they acted at this concert!).
So, two things I'll always remember about this concert:
First, I'll always remember how thankful I was to be standing there having fun with my grandparents...
Secondly, I'll always remember how I went into a concert not really knowing anything about RANDY TRAVIS, except that I knew he was a legend and so I wanted to see him...and went away from the concert a duly minted Randy Travis fan and determined to learn the words to his songs so that next time I see him in concert I can sing along like everyone else was.
I mean, WOW!, talk about putting on a great show.  Who knew?  I guess he's learned something in his 20+ years of touring...
I love when concerts surprise you.