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I had a dream that Moma was still alive. I woke up and for a moment, I still believed it, and I was so relieved. That meant that the last year had been a terrible nightmare. Then I woke up, for real.
I still have that same sort of vague, floaty mentality I've always had. Will that ever change? It's so much easier to float than it is to hurt. When group therapy and the shrinks pinpointed me to a tee, it totally freaked me out. How'd they do that? How'd they know all that about me?
I wonder if anyone else gets tired of being who they are all the time... I wonder if anyone thinks I'm a big fake...or is that what everyone thinks?
Why is life so hard sometimes?
Okay, wait...is it LIFE that's so hard, or HUMAN LIFE that's so hard?
Because plants are alive, but I refuse to believe that they have a hard life.
I'm also assuming that all human life is hard, when maybe it's just MY human life (as opposed to my non-human life!). I would ask the question, Why is MY life so hard sometimes?, but it just doesn't sound right. I KNOW life is hard for EVERYONE sometimes.
Is the answer that most common..."Because if it were easy, everyone would do it!" Of course not! Everyone does do it!
It can't be the 'Job' thing (as in Book of, not employment)...can it? We ALL can't be Job.
I don't know...
Maybe life is so hard sometimes to show what an amazing gift it really is. Life hurts but it can also be glorious, and it's always REAL.
