Music: The Williams Brothers - Miss This World
I sometimes can't believe I'm here, in my pretty apartment on the hill with the woods behind me, and my daughter and my kitty and my big bed and even a fireplace (which I don't really know how to use, but it's there adding great atmosphere...).
But then I realize that it's okay, because things that are too good to be true, usually are. The other shoe is sure to drop sometime soon. But I'm really enjoying this wonderful life while I have it. I've waited a long, long time for this. It's thrilling to be able to look out a window at the trees and the sky, or step out on the balcony and look at the stars.
I'm missing too much work due to my migraines. Some days I can't even get out of bed, and medicine doesn't help, even though I take anything and everything to try and get rid of the pain. I'm sure my liver is on the way to being permanently damaged. I went to the doctor Friday and I'm finally being referred to a neurologist. Who knows if they can do anything for me? Is it all in my head? (ha ha - funny joke)
The point is... If I don't go to work, then I don't make any money, and I can't pay any bills. How can I live? Here? Mom and D can only carry me so far...
Wouldn't it be great if all the people I ever lent money to in my life would pay me back? I fantasize about that sometimes. People keep telling me I need to develop the ability to say 'no' when people ask for money, but I just can't... If they need it and I have it, I will share it. That's what He said to do...
I found a lump and I need to schedule a mammogram... I'm pretty worried. I just have a feeling, like, I dodged a bullet in December when I lucked out and found a great surgeon and didn't have to get a hysterectomy and didn't have cancer then, that now maybe I won't be so lucky. Okay, maybe I'm more than worried, maybe I'm terrified.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
And on, and on...
Music: The Weepies - The World Spins Madly On
I've been here over a year now, and I have to say that one of my favorite things about living here is the ride home from work. I've only moved about five miles away, but it's a huge difference... Now I drive home through the park and up and around the back way, up and up the hill, with the trees and the streams and the winding roads. In the past year I've seen deer and chipmunks and enjoyed the seasons change like I never have before.
The absolute best was in the days after the ice storm, when the way home was transformed into an icy sparkly wonderland. And the tree out front was bent completely over by the weight of the ice, the top of it touching the ground. I didn't think it would ever recover, but it has, now standing as tall and skinny as ever.
I'm really happy here. I can see the woods from my bedroom window, and hear the bullfrogs at night.
The peace is only sometimes shattered by the temperamental teenage girl who also lives here. My sweet baby girl turned into a beautiful fifteen-year old (sixteen this month, gulp!) with a (gulp!!!) boyfriend in this past year...hmmm...any correlation between this and my headaches?
So that's who we are now, me, my beautiful daughter, and my wonderful kittycat who just adores me and sort of, you know, hisses, at everyone else, including my poor boyfriend who keeps plying her with treats trying to get himself in there. Our happy family...
I've been here over a year now, and I have to say that one of my favorite things about living here is the ride home from work. I've only moved about five miles away, but it's a huge difference... Now I drive home through the park and up and around the back way, up and up the hill, with the trees and the streams and the winding roads. In the past year I've seen deer and chipmunks and enjoyed the seasons change like I never have before.
The absolute best was in the days after the ice storm, when the way home was transformed into an icy sparkly wonderland. And the tree out front was bent completely over by the weight of the ice, the top of it touching the ground. I didn't think it would ever recover, but it has, now standing as tall and skinny as ever.
I'm really happy here. I can see the woods from my bedroom window, and hear the bullfrogs at night.
The peace is only sometimes shattered by the temperamental teenage girl who also lives here. My sweet baby girl turned into a beautiful fifteen-year old (sixteen this month, gulp!) with a (gulp!!!) boyfriend in this past year...hmmm...any correlation between this and my headaches?
So that's who we are now, me, my beautiful daughter, and my wonderful kittycat who just adores me and sort of, you know, hisses, at everyone else, including my poor boyfriend who keeps plying her with treats trying to get himself in there. Our happy family...
Friday, July 4, 2008
Green Green Green
Music: Paramore - Pressure
I'm flipping through the channels, shivering under the blankets with me, myself, and my migraine, and suddenly on the TV there's green grass and bam!, I'm hypnotized because it's Wimbledon and it doesn't matter that I haven't watched tennis in a year...what is it about that green?
I went to work yesterday, headache and all. They were happy to see me.
It was the first time I'd left the house in six days.
Gotta go...headache, hurting, pain...back to bed...
I'm flipping through the channels, shivering under the blankets with me, myself, and my migraine, and suddenly on the TV there's green grass and bam!, I'm hypnotized because it's Wimbledon and it doesn't matter that I haven't watched tennis in a year...what is it about that green?
I went to work yesterday, headache and all. They were happy to see me.
It was the first time I'd left the house in six days.
Gotta go...headache, hurting, pain...back to bed...
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Second Chance...
Music: Solomon Burke - Cry To Me
It's 3 a.m. and I'm suffering through another marathon migraine... I really, really hope that this migraine is what is bringing on this terrible melancholy I'm feeling tonight. I mean, I take medicine for this, I'm supposed to be in a nice vague happy daze all the time.
Instead, I'm melancholy and jittery and stuck in despair and I can't stand myself and thinking about the horrible things I've done in the past.
All I have to say is, thank goodness for my cat. It's hard to remember that you're stuck in despair when the kitty cat just tried her best to get between you and the keyboard, and, failing that, sat up on the desk, scratched behind her right ear and sent fur flying, then leapt to the bed and is now laying on her pillow (yes, the pillow next to my pillow), imploring me to come to bed and stop this 3 a.m. nonsense.
Bossy kitty. G'night.
It's 3 a.m. and I'm suffering through another marathon migraine... I really, really hope that this migraine is what is bringing on this terrible melancholy I'm feeling tonight. I mean, I take medicine for this, I'm supposed to be in a nice vague happy daze all the time.
Instead, I'm melancholy and jittery and stuck in despair and I can't stand myself and thinking about the horrible things I've done in the past.
All I have to say is, thank goodness for my cat. It's hard to remember that you're stuck in despair when the kitty cat just tried her best to get between you and the keyboard, and, failing that, sat up on the desk, scratched behind her right ear and sent fur flying, then leapt to the bed and is now laying on her pillow (yes, the pillow next to my pillow), imploring me to come to bed and stop this 3 a.m. nonsense.
Bossy kitty. G'night.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Outside
I've moved and I no longer have a purple door...
But now I live on a hill and there's woods behind me and the view is so wonderful.
My daughter, my kitty and I are living here in varying degrees of contentment.
I'm very happy here, but it's been almost two months and it's still not. quite. home.
All daughter needs is her phone, her laptop, her iPod, and her sketchpads, and she's her usual surly mean self.
Well, surly and mean to ME, anyway... all of her nice and sweet-ness is used on her friends.
I thought my kitty was settling in fine, until this week when she went pee-pee TWICE on my bedroom floor. I had to reread all my cat books, and now I'm worried that she's depressed about the move.
She HAS been meowing a lot, lately. And asking for a lot of extra treats.
What? You think that I've spoiled her?
Absolutely... she deserves it! She's way nicer than the other adolescent who lives here.
I'm tired now...
It took a lot out of me to write this little bit.
I think the anti-depressants I take are the reason I can't write anymore.
But now I live on a hill and there's woods behind me and the view is so wonderful.
My daughter, my kitty and I are living here in varying degrees of contentment.
I'm very happy here, but it's been almost two months and it's still not. quite. home.
All daughter needs is her phone, her laptop, her iPod, and her sketchpads, and she's her usual surly mean self.
Well, surly and mean to ME, anyway... all of her nice and sweet-ness is used on her friends.
I thought my kitty was settling in fine, until this week when she went pee-pee TWICE on my bedroom floor. I had to reread all my cat books, and now I'm worried that she's depressed about the move.
She HAS been meowing a lot, lately. And asking for a lot of extra treats.
What? You think that I've spoiled her?
Absolutely... she deserves it! She's way nicer than the other adolescent who lives here.
I'm tired now...
It took a lot out of me to write this little bit.
I think the anti-depressants I take are the reason I can't write anymore.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
how things fall
I got DSL and so went to free AOL... and now I love my fast access but HATE free AOL. That's the biggest reason why I never get to check my email anymore or update my journal or keep up with my dear friends' journals... I want my regular AOL back but I don't want to give up fast music downloading to get it..
I had taken my daughter out of the small private Christian school she'd gone to for elementary and middle school and put her in a big public high school for ninth grade, positive I'd made a good decision, and WOW, I was way wrong on that one. By December she was on her way to failing every class except History, and she was begging to go back to the school that she formerly couldn't wait to get away from. She witnessed fights and other icky things and would come home every day just kind of shell-shocked...poor thing.
Oh yeah...How did she get an 'A' in History? Well, let's see, first, the class read Lord of the Flies. And then, for the rest of the semester, the class watched 'Lost'.
Yes...that's correct. You heard me right. That was History class. They watched an episode of 'Lost' every morning.
Is it relevant that her History teacher also happened to be the football coach?
So...
During Christmas break, I made my decision to take her out that school and homeschool her instead, which is what I really wanted to do in the first place back in August but I allowed myself to be talked out of it. It really isn't very practical because I do work 40 hours a week and I am a single mom but I just couldn't let her go on like that...
So what's going on now is that I'm really, really, really, really busy. And I'm trying to do way too much and I feel like I'm not getting anything done at all, and I'm worried that I'm not doing my daughter justice, and I worry that she's not getting enough exercise, and that she's not getting a good enough education, and that she's spending too much time online, and that I'm not spending enough 'just us' time with her, and that she resents me too much to ever get over it, and I worry worry worry all the time.
I take lots of medicine, and coincidentally, lots of Pepcid Complete (Cool Mint). That's my commercial for the evening.
I had taken my daughter out of the small private Christian school she'd gone to for elementary and middle school and put her in a big public high school for ninth grade, positive I'd made a good decision, and WOW, I was way wrong on that one. By December she was on her way to failing every class except History, and she was begging to go back to the school that she formerly couldn't wait to get away from. She witnessed fights and other icky things and would come home every day just kind of shell-shocked...poor thing.
Oh yeah...How did she get an 'A' in History? Well, let's see, first, the class read Lord of the Flies. And then, for the rest of the semester, the class watched 'Lost'.
Yes...that's correct. You heard me right. That was History class. They watched an episode of 'Lost' every morning.
Is it relevant that her History teacher also happened to be the football coach?
So...
During Christmas break, I made my decision to take her out that school and homeschool her instead, which is what I really wanted to do in the first place back in August but I allowed myself to be talked out of it. It really isn't very practical because I do work 40 hours a week and I am a single mom but I just couldn't let her go on like that...
So what's going on now is that I'm really, really, really, really busy. And I'm trying to do way too much and I feel like I'm not getting anything done at all, and I'm worried that I'm not doing my daughter justice, and I worry that she's not getting enough exercise, and that she's not getting a good enough education, and that she's spending too much time online, and that I'm not spending enough 'just us' time with her, and that she resents me too much to ever get over it, and I worry worry worry all the time.
I take lots of medicine, and coincidentally, lots of Pepcid Complete (Cool Mint). That's my commercial for the evening.
Tuesday, September 5, 2006
yes... i'm still here...
I can't believe I flaked out and left my poor journal alone all this time...
But in my defense, I did THINK about writing here for the past two months...I just never made it that far...
I've been trying to keep up reading journals, but couldn't get up the gumption to write there, either.
What have I been doing?
(song change: Tell Laura I Love Her - Sha Na Na)
1. Dr.Will just got voted out of the Big Brother house and I'm devastated, even though I knew it was coming...(because I'm one of those internet losers who watch the live feeds)...I've been singing his praises for five years since BB2 and I can't believe boring whiny Erika took THE MAN down! (Janelle traded one puppet master for another...)
(song change: Hero - Nickelback)
2. D and I went to Nashville for the weekend and stayed at the magical hotel down there, and we went to the Opry... I've waited my whole life to go to the Grand Ole Opry, right? But we went to our seats in the balcony and it was really dark and I fell right asleep... ASLEEP!... D had to nudge me awake, like, fifteen times, I was so out of it.
I did wake up for VINCE GILL, though... He's such a cool guy...
(song change: My Name Is - Eminem)
3. I went back to work, finally, after two months on disability ... (sigh) ... Don't you love when you're not at work for two months and no one does your job and when you get back you can't even see your desk, because, NO JOKE, there are piles of work covering it three-feet deep?!
4. I took C to see the American Idols concert at the fair a couple weeks ago...it was only a tiny bit cheesy...okay, maybe moderately cheesy...but Chris Daughtry ROCKED the house, so I was happy. :)
(song change: He's Alive - Dolly Parton)
5. I got C's schooling figured out and all I can do now is wait and hope that things go well this year. I took her out of the private school she was going to and enrolled her in a HUGE public school down the road, and so far her freshman year of high school is working out very well. The size of the school is a plus...for the first time in her life she is blending into the crowd and not being singled out and made fun of all the time.
I wanted to homeschool her... I REALLY wanted to... but ultimately I didn't think I could do it because I'm a single mom who works 40 hours a week. I mean, I could have done it, but I don't know if I could have done it WELL.
I'm just trying not to second-guess myself... and I'm praying very hard that she'll be happier and healthier this year.
(song change: When It Don't Come Easy - Patty Griffin)
6. Like everyone else who watches Animal Planet, I can't believe Steve Irwin is gone. My heart goes out to Terri and their two children. It's just so sad.
(song change: While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles)
7. I think I've just summed up the last two months of my life...
8. My present state of mind is...dependent on whether I've taken my medicine or not. I'm trying to do better.
and...
9. D is wonderful... C is, um, teenager-ish (mean/nice/mean/nice...), but still wonderful... and Josie the Cat still rules the house.
Seriously, the kitty really does rule the house...she's very spoiled but soooo affectionate (to me, anyway...she has some issues with D...), and she's so soft and cuddly...I love my kitty.
(song change: Hero of the Day - Metallica)
10. grasping at straws now...what's one last thing so I can make ten?... oh yeah... I'm reading Ender's Game again...for the twentieth time or so. What did I ever do before I discovered this book? (circa the summer of 2000)?
For the last six years, I've tried to have everyone I know read this book at least once...
:)
I'm kind of annoying like that, sometimes...
(song change: Kentucky Rain - Elvis Presley)
I just looked at my song list and realized what a redneck I really am...closet redneck with a degree in Philosophy maybe...but a redneck nonetheless.
I AM from Kentucky, you know...
But in my defense, I did THINK about writing here for the past two months...I just never made it that far...
I've been trying to keep up reading journals, but couldn't get up the gumption to write there, either.
What have I been doing?
(song change: Tell Laura I Love Her - Sha Na Na)
1. Dr.Will just got voted out of the Big Brother house and I'm devastated, even though I knew it was coming...(because I'm one of those internet losers who watch the live feeds)...I've been singing his praises for five years since BB2 and I can't believe boring whiny Erika took THE MAN down! (Janelle traded one puppet master for another...)
(song change: Hero - Nickelback)
2. D and I went to Nashville for the weekend and stayed at the magical hotel down there, and we went to the Opry... I've waited my whole life to go to the Grand Ole Opry, right? But we went to our seats in the balcony and it was really dark and I fell right asleep... ASLEEP!... D had to nudge me awake, like, fifteen times, I was so out of it.
I did wake up for VINCE GILL, though... He's such a cool guy...
(song change: My Name Is - Eminem)
3. I went back to work, finally, after two months on disability ... (sigh) ... Don't you love when you're not at work for two months and no one does your job and when you get back you can't even see your desk, because, NO JOKE, there are piles of work covering it three-feet deep?!
4. I took C to see the American Idols concert at the fair a couple weeks ago...it was only a tiny bit cheesy...okay, maybe moderately cheesy...but Chris Daughtry ROCKED the house, so I was happy. :)
(song change: He's Alive - Dolly Parton)
5. I got C's schooling figured out and all I can do now is wait and hope that things go well this year. I took her out of the private school she was going to and enrolled her in a HUGE public school down the road, and so far her freshman year of high school is working out very well. The size of the school is a plus...for the first time in her life she is blending into the crowd and not being singled out and made fun of all the time.
I wanted to homeschool her... I REALLY wanted to... but ultimately I didn't think I could do it because I'm a single mom who works 40 hours a week. I mean, I could have done it, but I don't know if I could have done it WELL.
I'm just trying not to second-guess myself... and I'm praying very hard that she'll be happier and healthier this year.
(song change: When It Don't Come Easy - Patty Griffin)
6. Like everyone else who watches Animal Planet, I can't believe Steve Irwin is gone. My heart goes out to Terri and their two children. It's just so sad.
(song change: While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles)
7. I think I've just summed up the last two months of my life...
8. My present state of mind is...dependent on whether I've taken my medicine or not. I'm trying to do better.
and...
9. D is wonderful... C is, um, teenager-ish (mean/nice/mean/nice...), but still wonderful... and Josie the Cat still rules the house.
Seriously, the kitty really does rule the house...she's very spoiled but soooo affectionate (to me, anyway...she has some issues with D...), and she's so soft and cuddly...I love my kitty.
(song change: Hero of the Day - Metallica)
10. grasping at straws now...what's one last thing so I can make ten?... oh yeah... I'm reading Ender's Game again...for the twentieth time or so. What did I ever do before I discovered this book? (circa the summer of 2000)?
For the last six years, I've tried to have everyone I know read this book at least once...
:)
I'm kind of annoying like that, sometimes...
(song change: Kentucky Rain - Elvis Presley)
I just looked at my song list and realized what a redneck I really am...closet redneck with a degree in Philosophy maybe...but a redneck nonetheless.
I AM from Kentucky, you know...
Friday, July 7, 2006
None...
Thursday my mother told me that I "should never have been a mother." She said that I should look at C's room and at the way C is and it's obvious, I should never have been a mother.
I've spent the last two days in a strange state...I can't explain it. Hearing my mother say something so hurtful, and so hateful, to me was devastating.
At first I was asking myself, did I deserve that? I really don't think I did...that was just a really mean thing to say to me.
Then I started asking myself if she was right...
As a single mom to a child with a disability like C has, I ask myself every single day if I'm doing okay...I question every single decision I make. I know I've made some wrong ones. But I really don't think I've been a bad mom.
But my mom thinks I have been. And I can't do anything more than I already do. I'm just me.
She broke me when she said that.
I've spent the last two days in a strange state...I can't explain it. Hearing my mother say something so hurtful, and so hateful, to me was devastating.
At first I was asking myself, did I deserve that? I really don't think I did...that was just a really mean thing to say to me.
Then I started asking myself if she was right...
As a single mom to a child with a disability like C has, I ask myself every single day if I'm doing okay...I question every single decision I make. I know I've made some wrong ones. But I really don't think I've been a bad mom.
But my mom thinks I have been. And I can't do anything more than I already do. I'm just me.
She broke me when she said that.
Tuesday, July 4, 2006
Happy Fourth...
My brother wanted me to make a CD to play during the $400 family fireworks show tonight...his special request was a 'Star Wars / Patriotic' CD, with the emphasis on the 'Star Wars'.
Didn't work...I played around with the playlist for two days, and mostly 'Star Wars' meant mostly BORING for 99% of our guests who would not be Star Wars fans. I eliminated all but four songs from various Star Wars soundtracks, put a few Star Wars sound clips in, and the rest were some of my favorite patriotic songs.
I had to, regrettably, leave out Jimi Hendrix' version of the Star-Spangled Banner...I was told the senior citizens wouldn't appreciate it...
Playlist:
1. The Star-Spangled Banner - Whitney Houston
2. Sound Effect - 'Star Wars' Lightsaber
3. 'Star Wars' Main Theme
4. Sound Effect - 'Star Wars'...You must learn the ways of the force...
5. Song of the Patriot - Johnny Cash
6. America: Why I Love Her - John Wayne
7. 'Star Wars' Anakin v. Obi-Wan ('Revenge of the Sith' Soundtrack)
8. Sound Effect - 'Star Wars' Darth Vader breathing
9. Fourth of July - Shooter Jennings
10. America - Waylon Jennings
11. Some Gave All - Billy Ray Cyrus
12. America the Beautiful - Ray Charles
13. 'Star Wars' Duel of the Fates ('The Phantom Menace' Soundtrack)
14. Sound Effect - 'Star Wars' Do or do not, there is no try...
15. 'Top Gun' Anthem
16. God Bless the USA - Lee Greenwood
17. Coming to America - Neil Diamond
18. 'Superman' Theme
19. Ragged Old Flag - Johnny Cash
20. If I Can Dream - Elvis Presley
21. America the Beautiful - Willie Nelson
22. 'Star Wars' Yoda's Death ('Return of the Jedi' Soundtrack)
23. Sound Effect - 'Star Wars' If you strike me down...
24. Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning) - Alan Jackson
25. God Bless America - Celine Dion
I spent most of my time inside...my hand is killing me. I'm calling the doctor tomorrow, I think I have some nerve damage in my middle and ring fingers.
The space shuttle lifted off! It was beautiful...
p.s. I've told everyone I know about how Laura Ingalls Wilder spent one Independence Day in De Smet, SD...because nobody I know (except for me) has read her books. The most significant part to me has always been where everyone at the celebration in town is able to recite the Declaration of Independence.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Insomnia...
I just cannot sleep...At first I thought it was because I was addicted to those stupid Lortabs. So I quit taking them and then I still couldn't sleep, so I thought maybe it was withdrawal...but it's been a couple of days now...so I guess maybe it's just a permanent condition. Or maybe it's because I'm so uncomfortable from the pain.
Yeah, that could be it. :)
I did get the cast taken off and the stitches taken out finally on Monday...physical therapy has commenced in earnest again and my life is happy just YAY! all over...
This is one of my favorite songs ever, it's been one of my comfort songs for about twenty years now...gosh I'm getting old...we all are...
The clues to a mild little depression are all around me...the utter disarray and clutter of my house, the unreturned phone calls, the unopened mail and the canceled doctor appointments... I don't know if it's because of the surgery, or if the surgery was just a convenient excuse. If people hadn't been coming around to help me out, I'm not sure that the laundry or dishes would have been done.
I wasn't too far gone to make sure that my daughter and my kitty got fed.
Now I have three weeks left before I have to go back to work and it's like I've been given an ultimatum...get your life in order, get your mind in order, OR ELSE.
I close my eyes at night and try to go to sleep and all I see is a big jumble of all the stuff that I need to do and have failed to do in my life, stuff that I will never do and stuff that I will never get done and stuff that I will never hope to do and stuff that I BETTER do before July 10...
I don't think I can ever go to sleep.
Yeah, that could be it. :)
I did get the cast taken off and the stitches taken out finally on Monday...physical therapy has commenced in earnest again and my life is happy just YAY! all over...
This is one of my favorite songs ever, it's been one of my comfort songs for about twenty years now...gosh I'm getting old...we all are...
The clues to a mild little depression are all around me...the utter disarray and clutter of my house, the unreturned phone calls, the unopened mail and the canceled doctor appointments... I don't know if it's because of the surgery, or if the surgery was just a convenient excuse. If people hadn't been coming around to help me out, I'm not sure that the laundry or dishes would have been done.
I wasn't too far gone to make sure that my daughter and my kitty got fed.
Now I have three weeks left before I have to go back to work and it's like I've been given an ultimatum...get your life in order, get your mind in order, OR ELSE.
I close my eyes at night and try to go to sleep and all I see is a big jumble of all the stuff that I need to do and have failed to do in my life, stuff that I will never do and stuff that I will never get done and stuff that I will never hope to do and stuff that I BETTER do before July 10...
I don't think I can ever go to sleep.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
remembering...
The World War II Memorial wasn't there the last time I visited D.C. It's at the end of the pool between the straight line from the Lincoln Memorial to the Washington Monument.
It fits as if it has always been there.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
lost entry...
am i falling for this again?...
i put my heart and soul into an entry, clicked save, and it disappeared into aol no man's land...
what was it about? something about the cast and stitches on my hand, and how it's affected my typing ability, and how i'm using my hand anyway even though i'm not supposed to and even though it hurts really bad, and we had major drama today and i'm tired of it and i'm having trouble getting out of bed, and how i'm falling into a deep black hole of depression again even though my medicine is supposed to prevent that and that might be a clue that it might need to be changed, and i ran out of heart medicine and oh yeah i was going to go back to bed and get under the covers and not come out again until things got much much better
and then of course my plans got foiled by stupid aol losing my stupid entry.
so i restarted my computer, took a walk into the living room and rescued my kitty and put her where she belongs (you know, in bed with me)
and wrote this
and whether this one works or not, I really am going to sleep now. Tomorrow's Father's Day and we have to honor my grandpa. I also have to call my dad. Father's Day makes me uncomfortable for my daughter's sake...she doesn't have a father, never has had one...I don't know how she feels about it. I feel terrible about it.
i put my heart and soul into an entry, clicked save, and it disappeared into aol no man's land...
what was it about? something about the cast and stitches on my hand, and how it's affected my typing ability, and how i'm using my hand anyway even though i'm not supposed to and even though it hurts really bad, and we had major drama today and i'm tired of it and i'm having trouble getting out of bed, and how i'm falling into a deep black hole of depression again even though my medicine is supposed to prevent that and that might be a clue that it might need to be changed, and i ran out of heart medicine and oh yeah i was going to go back to bed and get under the covers and not come out again until things got much much better
and then of course my plans got foiled by stupid aol losing my stupid entry.
so i restarted my computer, took a walk into the living room and rescued my kitty and put her where she belongs (you know, in bed with me)
and wrote this
and whether this one works or not, I really am going to sleep now. Tomorrow's Father's Day and we have to honor my grandpa. I also have to call my dad. Father's Day makes me uncomfortable for my daughter's sake...she doesn't have a father, never has had one...I don't know how she feels about it. I feel terrible about it.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
how old?
We were on the first day of our journey to D.C....
On the tour bus traveling through the mountains...
I was gazing out the window, listening to my iPod, when I noticed C and one of the moms looking at me expectantly...
I pressed pause just in time to hear my daughter explain,
"No, that's not my sister, that's my mom."
Oh.
The very next day, we're in DC...we've just visited the White House (really truly we got the background checks and the representative approval and apparently I'm not a criminal because my background check came through okay because I visited the White House!) and the FDR Memorial and Arlington and we're eating lunch across the street from the National Archives and I'm just dying to go over there and look at the Constitution and the Declaration real quick...
So I go over to the tour guide and ask her if we have time to go over there really quick and she says no...and she is kind of mean and really short with me!
And I said okay...I'm not a southern woman for nothing...I just turned on the charm and explained why I thought we'd have time...
And she said again, no, and then she said, "You'll need to ask your mom if you have time later."
Oh.
It must be my hair. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong.
I called C 'Sis' the rest of the trip. She didn't think it was funny, AT ALL.
On the tour bus traveling through the mountains...
I was gazing out the window, listening to my iPod, when I noticed C and one of the moms looking at me expectantly...
I pressed pause just in time to hear my daughter explain,
"No, that's not my sister, that's my mom."
Oh.
The very next day, we're in DC...we've just visited the White House (really truly we got the background checks and the representative approval and apparently I'm not a criminal because my background check came through okay because I visited the White House!) and the FDR Memorial and Arlington and we're eating lunch across the street from the National Archives and I'm just dying to go over there and look at the Constitution and the Declaration real quick...
So I go over to the tour guide and ask her if we have time to go over there really quick and she says no...and she is kind of mean and really short with me!
And I said okay...I'm not a southern woman for nothing...I just turned on the charm and explained why I thought we'd have time...
And she said again, no, and then she said, "You'll need to ask your mom if you have time later."
Oh.
It must be my hair. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong.
I called C 'Sis' the rest of the trip. She didn't think it was funny, AT ALL.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
a dc tale...
It was our last stop in Washington D.C, before we started our journey back home. We were in Union Station...everyone else on the trip was getting their last minute souvenir shopping done. C and I were sitting at one of the coffee shops biding the time until we could get back on the bus.
But one of the moms stopped by and asked me to go with her to help pick out a T-shirt...
So we traipse off to this little but VERY pricey souvenir shop in the middle of Union Station. Pricey and CROWDED...
So C spills her chocolate coffee all over her shirt and the floor...oops...
"Oh no, I can't get back on the bus looking like this, I have to buy a new shirt!"
So she picks out a souvenir T-shirt...
By the time she gets up to the register she realizes that she's been holding the new shirt against the shirt she's wearing that she spilled coffee all over and now the new shirt that she hasn't bought yet is ruined...
She explains to the lady at the counter who looks at her in disbelief since she already spilled coffee on the floor...then the lady swallows and says "that's okay, just pick out a new one"...
So C picks out a new shirt and all is well until money is being exchanged and C swings her foot and it crashes against the bottom shelf underneath the counter and the shelf falls and about fifteen souvenir GLASS MUGS crash spectacularly to the floor.
And the store falls into complete silence and there's little pieces of glass all over the floor.
I'm just staring at the counter lady waiting for her to call the police on me, afraid that this is one disaster too many for her to take.
But I have to hand it to these DC people, she just gulped, and picked up her radio, and muttered into it, and then said to me very quickly,"it's okay, it happens all the time"...but even clueless me could hear the PLEASE LEAVE NOW subtext beneath her words.
I've never moved that quickly in my life.
But C does have a really cute T-shirt now...
But one of the moms stopped by and asked me to go with her to help pick out a T-shirt...
So we traipse off to this little but VERY pricey souvenir shop in the middle of Union Station. Pricey and CROWDED...
So C spills her chocolate coffee all over her shirt and the floor...oops...
"Oh no, I can't get back on the bus looking like this, I have to buy a new shirt!"
So she picks out a souvenir T-shirt...
By the time she gets up to the register she realizes that she's been holding the new shirt against the shirt she's wearing that she spilled coffee all over and now the new shirt that she hasn't bought yet is ruined...
She explains to the lady at the counter who looks at her in disbelief since she already spilled coffee on the floor...then the lady swallows and says "that's okay, just pick out a new one"...
So C picks out a new shirt and all is well until money is being exchanged and C swings her foot and it crashes against the bottom shelf underneath the counter and the shelf falls and about fifteen souvenir GLASS MUGS crash spectacularly to the floor.
And the store falls into complete silence and there's little pieces of glass all over the floor.
I'm just staring at the counter lady waiting for her to call the police on me, afraid that this is one disaster too many for her to take.
But I have to hand it to these DC people, she just gulped, and picked up her radio, and muttered into it, and then said to me very quickly,"it's okay, it happens all the time"...but even clueless me could hear the PLEASE LEAVE NOW subtext beneath her words.
I've never moved that quickly in my life.
But C does have a really cute T-shirt now...
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
not today...
I've tried really hard to clean out my email in the last couple of days, at the expense of my arm, which is still in a cast after the surgery I had less than two weeks ago...it's kind of throbbing and in pain. I'm trying to cool it on the Lortabs, though, because I was kind of 'yearning' for them last night...I'm terrified of becoming an addict.
Since January I've had two surgeries and missed tons of work and took a mini-vacation to Nashville and a bigger mini-vacation to Washington D.C (for daughter's field trip). The doctor told me I had a minor heart condition which explained why I was feeling so sick all the time and put me on all this different medication in addition to what I was already taking. The new medication made me feel even worse but apparently 'the benefits outweigh the risks' or something like that. My daughter squeaked through eighth grade and managed to pass all her classes...barely, but not with grades good enough to get into any of the high schools she wanted to go to, and we don't want her to go back to the private school she was going to.
So it's June and what I haven't done is find a school for my daughter. I'm having money issues from when I was off work. And even though I'm on eight million different medications, I still don't feel very well...
Everyone's mad at me all the time. Well, by everyone. I mean my daughter, who is mad at the world - I think it's a teenager thing; my mother - who is just mad at me, constantly and always, ever, ever, and ever, I can't do anything right; and my grandmother - who is mad at me and my mother, because we are always mad at each other. Did I mention that all of us live in two houses, right next door to each other? This four generations of women very close in age, blood, AND proximity thing is about to kill me...
It's too bad I had to come back to my journal to whine and complain...I probably should have taken that Lortab after all, I probably would have been a lot happier!
But D is still as strong and kind as ever...and my daughter is healthy and growing and sure togrow out of this mean streak some day soon :)...and my dear sweet adorable kitty is still the cutest little thing ever. Well, maybe not so little anymore, we took her to vet and she weighed 12 lbs 8 ounces...she's very long and tall and furry, kind of like a horse...she's way bigger than the dogs across the street...but she's still the cutest!
Since January I've had two surgeries and missed tons of work and took a mini-vacation to Nashville and a bigger mini-vacation to Washington D.C (for daughter's field trip). The doctor told me I had a minor heart condition which explained why I was feeling so sick all the time and put me on all this different medication in addition to what I was already taking. The new medication made me feel even worse but apparently 'the benefits outweigh the risks' or something like that. My daughter squeaked through eighth grade and managed to pass all her classes...barely, but not with grades good enough to get into any of the high schools she wanted to go to, and we don't want her to go back to the private school she was going to.
So it's June and what I haven't done is find a school for my daughter. I'm having money issues from when I was off work. And even though I'm on eight million different medications, I still don't feel very well...
Everyone's mad at me all the time. Well, by everyone. I mean my daughter, who is mad at the world - I think it's a teenager thing; my mother - who is just mad at me, constantly and always, ever, ever, and ever, I can't do anything right; and my grandmother - who is mad at me and my mother, because we are always mad at each other. Did I mention that all of us live in two houses, right next door to each other? This four generations of women very close in age, blood, AND proximity thing is about to kill me...
It's too bad I had to come back to my journal to whine and complain...I probably should have taken that Lortab after all, I probably would have been a lot happier!
But D is still as strong and kind as ever...and my daughter is healthy and growing and sure togrow out of this mean streak some day soon :)...and my dear sweet adorable kitty is still the cutest little thing ever. Well, maybe not so little anymore, we took her to vet and she weighed 12 lbs 8 ounces...she's very long and tall and furry, kind of like a horse...she's way bigger than the dogs across the street...but she's still the cutest!
Saturday, April 29, 2006
i've seen the shark...
I've gone private...
or at least I think I have. It doesn't say 'private journal' underneath my thing like it does on other journals...
and how do I add additional people?
I'm very confused...
EDIT! Oh wow...talk about immediate gratification...I hit save and poof! like magic, the words 'Private journal' are right up there where they're supposed to be, along with the words 'add readers'...
It's all very exciting.
or at least I think I have. It doesn't say 'private journal' underneath my thing like it does on other journals...
and how do I add additional people?
I'm very confused...
EDIT! Oh wow...talk about immediate gratification...I hit save and poof! like magic, the words 'Private journal' are right up there where they're supposed to be, along with the words 'add readers'...
It's all very exciting.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
I miss this...I mean, I REALLY miss this...
Even though I haven't written in over a month, I still create entries in my head...all the time... We went on the eighth-grade field trip to Washington D.C. last week, and oh! the things I (mentally) wrote about it!
The biggest obstacle is the surgery I had on my hand...I'm still in physical therapy twice a week and it's still pretty uncomfortable for me to sit here and type. I had no idea the recovery for this would take so long! And the doctor scheduled my second surgery for June 2...yay...
I'm trying to catch up on reading and commenting, at least...
Baby steps...
I miss this...
The biggest obstacle is the surgery I had on my hand...I'm still in physical therapy twice a week and it's still pretty uncomfortable for me to sit here and type. I had no idea the recovery for this would take so long! And the doctor scheduled my second surgery for June 2...yay...
I'm trying to catch up on reading and commenting, at least...
Baby steps...
I miss this...
Saturday, March 4, 2006
trying to find a way...
My kitty is sleeping, curled up on the floor beside me...
I just had some Tagalongs and a diet Pepsi... There may be a better time of year than Girl Scout Cookie time, but right now I can't think of it.
I've had lots of time for reflection since I've been off work...and lots of time for sleeping. Sleeping and reflecting...
My daughter's grades and behavior have improved by great leaps and bounds since I've been off work. It makes me so ashamed. Obviously, a lot of her problems could have been alleviated by me spending more time with her instead of at work. She needs me...I don't know how come I didn't see it.
When I go back, I'll have to cut out any overtime, EVER...I'll also have to make sure I start going in early so I can get off early and be home with her. This is easy stuff that I could and should have done before now. I'm also going to look into transferring to a job with different hours...enough said...
We just watched 'Elizabethtown' tonight...it's so strange typing that name out in full because, around here, we just call it E-town. I vaguely remember when the movie was being filmed here in Loo-uh-vul because there were sightings of the beautiful people all around town...
And now I feel bad for not paying more attention when they were filming, or when it came out in theaters, because the movie ROCKS...and not just because it has Mr.Beautiful Orlando Bloom himself in it!
This movie has everything that I love...it showcases my beautiful city and state and all the wonderful people who live here...it has awesome music...and it dictates the importance of The Road Trip. It's MY perfect movie...
It even had Derby glasses.
I just had some Tagalongs and a diet Pepsi... There may be a better time of year than Girl Scout Cookie time, but right now I can't think of it.
I've had lots of time for reflection since I've been off work...and lots of time for sleeping. Sleeping and reflecting...
My daughter's grades and behavior have improved by great leaps and bounds since I've been off work. It makes me so ashamed. Obviously, a lot of her problems could have been alleviated by me spending more time with her instead of at work. She needs me...I don't know how come I didn't see it.
When I go back, I'll have to cut out any overtime, EVER...I'll also have to make sure I start going in early so I can get off early and be home with her. This is easy stuff that I could and should have done before now. I'm also going to look into transferring to a job with different hours...enough said...
We just watched 'Elizabethtown' tonight...it's so strange typing that name out in full because, around here, we just call it E-town. I vaguely remember when the movie was being filmed here in Loo-uh-vul because there were sightings of the beautiful people all around town...
And now I feel bad for not paying more attention when they were filming, or when it came out in theaters, because the movie ROCKS...and not just because it has Mr.Beautiful Orlando Bloom himself in it!
This movie has everything that I love...it showcases my beautiful city and state and all the wonderful people who live here...it has awesome music...and it dictates the importance of The Road Trip. It's MY perfect movie...
It even had Derby glasses.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
aimlessly...
In the summer of 1998, I was laid off my job and spent the entire summer out of work...
So what did I do that summer?...The first time I had ever not worked since I was old enough to hold a job?...
Well, during the day, I enjoyed being able to spend my daughter's summer vacation with her.
And at night until early morning, I was online...EVERY NIGHT, ONLINE...on good old AOL, playing Trivia, lurking in newsgroups, and IM-ing with my big brother...
I remember that summer fondly! But then of course, August came and I went back to work.
But I had forgotten how much I really enjoyed totally wasting my time online, until now, when I'm off work again and can't seem to tear myself away from the computer.
So is the computer an efficient time-saver, or a total time-sucker?
:)
Today I reached my discomfort level with my stupid cast and had my mom take it off and redo everything. The physical therapist last week had split it open so it was only in a half-cast, and something about the way she re-wrapped it was just killing me...
So when my mom finally got to the inner wrappings, you could see the indentations in my skin where the p.t. had wrapped it too tight. No wonder it was bothering me so much! Then I felt stupid for waiting so long before doing something about it...
But the incision is looking really good, no infection, and the bruising and swelling is down. Yay! And now I have it rewrapped and I am soooooo much more comfortable...thanks to Doctor Mom!
:)
My daughter's middle school field trip this year is to Washington DC...and against my better judgment I sent the deposit in for us to go. I really can't afford it this year, but I talked myself into it because it'll be much less expensive going with a group as opposed to going alone.
(But the problem with going with a group is...you know, THE GROUP.)
This'll be my third visit to DC...it's been almost twenty years...I'm so excited! Abraham Lincoln, here I come...
So what did I do that summer?...The first time I had ever not worked since I was old enough to hold a job?...
Well, during the day, I enjoyed being able to spend my daughter's summer vacation with her.
And at night until early morning, I was online...EVERY NIGHT, ONLINE...on good old AOL, playing Trivia, lurking in newsgroups, and IM-ing with my big brother...
I remember that summer fondly! But then of course, August came and I went back to work.
But I had forgotten how much I really enjoyed totally wasting my time online, until now, when I'm off work again and can't seem to tear myself away from the computer.
So is the computer an efficient time-saver, or a total time-sucker?
:)
Today I reached my discomfort level with my stupid cast and had my mom take it off and redo everything. The physical therapist last week had split it open so it was only in a half-cast, and something about the way she re-wrapped it was just killing me...
So when my mom finally got to the inner wrappings, you could see the indentations in my skin where the p.t. had wrapped it too tight. No wonder it was bothering me so much! Then I felt stupid for waiting so long before doing something about it...
But the incision is looking really good, no infection, and the bruising and swelling is down. Yay! And now I have it rewrapped and I am soooooo much more comfortable...thanks to Doctor Mom!
:)
My daughter's middle school field trip this year is to Washington DC...and against my better judgment I sent the deposit in for us to go. I really can't afford it this year, but I talked myself into it because it'll be much less expensive going with a group as opposed to going alone.
(But the problem with going with a group is...you know, THE GROUP.)
This'll be my third visit to DC...it's been almost twenty years...I'm so excited! Abraham Lincoln, here I come...
Monday, February 20, 2006
wandering...
It's like I've been away for so long I forgot how to do things.
Anyway, Julie sent this to me and I haven't done one of these in a while...I like these...
Four Things:Cut and paste this email to a new one.
Just answer each question with the appropriate 4 answers of your own...
A.Four jobs you have had in your life:
1.) Fast food restaurant
2.) Answering service
3.) Truck assembly line (for five whole weeks)
4.) Key Entry admin (that was my favorite...)
B.Four movies you could watch over and over:
1.) Apollo 13
2.) The Princess Bride
3.) The Shawshank Redemption (but only Michelle's edited version)
4.) Kill Bill (this is a fairly new addition but I haven't got sick of watching it over and over yet, so I think it will stand...)
C.Four places you have lived:
1.) Louisville, KY
2.) Fort Campbell, KY
3.) Obernburg, Germany
4.) Kitzingen, Germany
D.Four TV shows you love to watch:
1.) Survivor
2.) Charmed
3.) Animal Cops
4.) MASH (I know it's not current, but I can't think of any other current shows that I MUST watch!)
E.Four places you have been on vacation:
1.) London, England
2.) Colorado Springs, Colorado
3.) Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
4.) Gatlinburg, Tennessee
F.Four websites you visit daily:
1.) searchbug.com (for work)
2.) UPS.com (for work)
3.) courier-journal.com (Louisville's newspaper)
4.) freetranslation.com (for work)
G.Four of your favorite foods:
1.) JIF Crunchy peanut butter
2.) Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
3.) chocolate...chocolate...chocolate
4.) Anything that my grandma cooks
H.Four places you'd rather be right now:
1.) I'm pretty happy here...
2.) Although I would like to be in a place where my hand isn't hurting and in a cast anymore, it's really cramping my style...
3.) And a place where my daughter hasn't turned into a TEENAGER...
4.) The most beautiful places I've ever visited (outside of my own beautiful state of Kentucky! :) are Wyoming and Austria, I still dream of going back there...
I.Four of your favorite things to do:
1.) Reading
2.) Music
3.) DVDs
4.) Petting my kitty
J.Four of your favorite drinks (alcoholic or non....ANYTHING):
1.) Diet Pepsi
2.) Diet Pepsi
3.) Diet Pepsi
4.) Big Red
Anyway, Julie sent this to me and I haven't done one of these in a while...I like these...
Four Things:Cut and paste this email to a new one.
Just answer each question with the appropriate 4 answers of your own...
A.Four jobs you have had in your life:
1.) Fast food restaurant
2.) Answering service
3.) Truck assembly line (for five whole weeks)
4.) Key Entry admin (that was my favorite...)
B.Four movies you could watch over and over:
1.) Apollo 13
2.) The Princess Bride
3.) The Shawshank Redemption (but only Michelle's edited version)
4.) Kill Bill (this is a fairly new addition but I haven't got sick of watching it over and over yet, so I think it will stand...)
C.Four places you have lived:
1.) Louisville, KY
2.) Fort Campbell, KY
3.) Obernburg, Germany
4.) Kitzingen, Germany
D.Four TV shows you love to watch:
1.) Survivor
2.) Charmed
3.) Animal Cops
4.) MASH (I know it's not current, but I can't think of any other current shows that I MUST watch!)
E.Four places you have been on vacation:
1.) London, England
2.) Colorado Springs, Colorado
3.) Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
4.) Gatlinburg, Tennessee
F.Four websites you visit daily:
1.) searchbug.com (for work)
2.) UPS.com (for work)
3.) courier-journal.com (Louisville's newspaper)
4.) freetranslation.com (for work)
G.Four of your favorite foods:
1.) JIF Crunchy peanut butter
2.) Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
3.) chocolate...chocolate...chocolate
4.) Anything that my grandma cooks
H.Four places you'd rather be right now:
1.) I'm pretty happy here...
2.) Although I would like to be in a place where my hand isn't hurting and in a cast anymore, it's really cramping my style...
3.) And a place where my daughter hasn't turned into a TEENAGER...
4.) The most beautiful places I've ever visited (outside of my own beautiful state of Kentucky! :) are Wyoming and Austria, I still dream of going back there...
I.Four of your favorite things to do:
1.) Reading
2.) Music
3.) DVDs
4.) Petting my kitty
J.Four of your favorite drinks (alcoholic or non....ANYTHING):
1.) Diet Pepsi
2.) Diet Pepsi
3.) Diet Pepsi
4.) Big Red
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
slighty loopy...
...that is my mood at two in the morning when I'm so tired and I'm vicodined up...
I don't know how much longer I'm supposed to be having pain from this Stupid Surgery but I've had quite enough, thank you...I planned on a nice vacation from work but instead all I've done is sleep, and pain, and sleep, and pain...what's up with that?!
One good thing...D and my mom and my grandma are all taking turns driving my daughter to school and back, and picking up anything I need at the store...they're not letting me drive at all. Mom says it's because I'm still on pain meds and it would be too awkward one-handed anyway. D is WAY less tactful and says the actual truth, that I'm a bad driver under NORMAL circumstances, and there's no way they can let me drive now...
Well...they can laugh at me and my bad driving all they want...I have a few weeks off of taking my daughter to school every day and getting in our regularly scheduled morning drive/fight, that means life is sooo much better!
Going to bed now...kitty's on my pillow...she's so sweet!
I don't know how much longer I'm supposed to be having pain from this Stupid Surgery but I've had quite enough, thank you...I planned on a nice vacation from work but instead all I've done is sleep, and pain, and sleep, and pain...what's up with that?!
One good thing...D and my mom and my grandma are all taking turns driving my daughter to school and back, and picking up anything I need at the store...they're not letting me drive at all. Mom says it's because I'm still on pain meds and it would be too awkward one-handed anyway. D is WAY less tactful and says the actual truth, that I'm a bad driver under NORMAL circumstances, and there's no way they can let me drive now...
Well...they can laugh at me and my bad driving all they want...I have a few weeks off of taking my daughter to school every day and getting in our regularly scheduled morning drive/fight, that means life is sooo much better!
Going to bed now...kitty's on my pillow...she's so sweet!
Saturday, February 11, 2006
very exciting...
Had the surgery Friday morning... I've been in a drug-induced haze since then, except for now. My hand was hurting so much that I took two of the Vicodins instead of just one and now I find myself wide awake. But feeling no pain...
I have the next two weeks off work and I'm really excited about catching up with my journaling, one-handed and all...
I had no idea how much my job and the upcoming surgery was stressing me out, until now, with the surgery in the past and I don't have to worry about work for a while. Pain and all, I am SO HAPPY right now...even with the resident thirteen-year old drama queen in the house...
Except that I'm not allowed to pick up my kitty right now...but she's still sleeping with me, so I guess we're still good!
I have the next two weeks off work and I'm really excited about catching up with my journaling, one-handed and all...
I had no idea how much my job and the upcoming surgery was stressing me out, until now, with the surgery in the past and I don't have to worry about work for a while. Pain and all, I am SO HAPPY right now...even with the resident thirteen-year old drama queen in the house...
Except that I'm not allowed to pick up my kitty right now...but she's still sleeping with me, so I guess we're still good!
Wednesday, February 1, 2006
Why so long...
12.45 am...
Kitty is curled up on my bed, asleep...
I'm having total pain and discomfort in both hands...
My surgery was originally scheduled for my right hand first. But then a couple of weeks ago a cyst appeared on my left hand, which put that ahead of the right in terms of pain, so at my pre-op appointment Monday I switched hands on them.
Just a few misgivings about the late switch, because as I went from one testing room to the other, they would say, "Okay, WHICH hand?"
I'm picturing waking up in recovery with BOTH hands done at the same time...or NO hands at all...
I had to go to physical therapy...I'm of the opinion that physical therapists are MEAN. She's showing me the exercises that I'll need to do after my surgery and she's making me copy her and I'm in so much pain and then she asks me that stupid question..."On a level of 1 to 10, how much does it hurt?"
I don't normally curse, but I really wanted to scream at her..."13, you %!#$!, is that what you want to hear?!"
I've totally slacked on my journals...I swear I'm trying to catch up. It's just so hard to type when your fingers are numb and you can't move your wrists because it hurts so bad.
I'm turning thirty-three on the 7th and then I'm having surgery on the 10th. I'm OLD and I'm falling apart.
I'm going to cuddle my kitty now...she's soooo cute! She doesn't care that mommy is old...she loves me!
(Well really, I'm the one that feeds her, of course she loves me!)
Kitty is curled up on my bed, asleep...
I'm having total pain and discomfort in both hands...
My surgery was originally scheduled for my right hand first. But then a couple of weeks ago a cyst appeared on my left hand, which put that ahead of the right in terms of pain, so at my pre-op appointment Monday I switched hands on them.
Just a few misgivings about the late switch, because as I went from one testing room to the other, they would say, "Okay, WHICH hand?"
I'm picturing waking up in recovery with BOTH hands done at the same time...or NO hands at all...
I had to go to physical therapy...I'm of the opinion that physical therapists are MEAN. She's showing me the exercises that I'll need to do after my surgery and she's making me copy her and I'm in so much pain and then she asks me that stupid question..."On a level of 1 to 10, how much does it hurt?"
I don't normally curse, but I really wanted to scream at her..."13, you %!#$!, is that what you want to hear?!"
I've totally slacked on my journals...I swear I'm trying to catch up. It's just so hard to type when your fingers are numb and you can't move your wrists because it hurts so bad.
I'm turning thirty-three on the 7th and then I'm having surgery on the 10th. I'm OLD and I'm falling apart.
I'm going to cuddle my kitty now...she's soooo cute! She doesn't care that mommy is old...she loves me!
(Well really, I'm the one that feeds her, of course she loves me!)
Sunday, January 15, 2006
A ray of sunshine, that's me...
My wrists hurt. My arms and elbows, too.
My hands and fingers are numb.I'm having surgery on my right hand on February 10.Who's going to do the vacuuming? Who will clean out the kitty's litterbox? Who will wash the dishes?The fact that I'm going to have to depend on my 13-year old daughter to do all this stuff is really, REALLY depressing...(sigh)You know, for being the sixteenth largest city in the US, Louisville really is like a small town...I'm listening to the afternoon anchor on the popular local news radio station this week...I happen to work with his sister. He's talking to the sports guy who comes on after him...the sports guy is married to someone I graduated from high school with. And then they start talking about the hot news item this week, who happens to be a friend of mine.Everyone in this town knows everyone else, I think...Anyway... my friend, who is also a well-known local radio guy, has been accused of faking his terminal illness, AND of mishandling funds for a charity that he set up.I am so frustrated with the media for implying this stuff...I'm even more frustrated with myself for letting a little kernel of doubt slip in to my mind at some time during the week...I must have let my guard down for a minute.Regardless, I KNOW my friend is a good person and I hate the fact that the media is making him out to be a monster. The media wasn't around for the MONTHS that he went through so many tests and doctors to find out what was wrong with him, before he was diagnosed. The media hasn't seen him have to walk with a cane...When I was laid off back in 1998, I wanted to go back to my previous employer. The only reason I have a job there today is because of my friend, who worked his second job in my company's HR department at the time and made sure that I knew about the opportunities open there, and made sure that my employer knew about my application there.I feel like kicking somebody...I really hate the media right now.(SIGH)I took the kitty to be groomed Saturday. This was the first time we've ever done that, and I'm not sure if we ever will again. We made our appointment at 11 a.m. and thought we would get to wait while they groomed her, but nooo...we had to leave her there and wait for them to call my cell phone and tell us when they were done.They didn't call us until 2:40 p.m. We walked in the door of the grooming place at 2:41 p.m.Yes, my daughter and I had been sitting in the parking lot just waiting for them to call us, for the last hour.I think we have a serious leaving-kitty-anxiety problem!
Sunday, January 8, 2006
oh...how long has it been?...
I have so many things I want to say...but I never seem to be able to get online anymore...
It's almost like my life is getting in my way...but, you know, "WHAT LIFE?!"
I work too much overtime. Who knew that getting a raise at work also meant more responsibility and more, you know, work?
My daughter is all mean and moody and teenager-y...mean mean mean (that's what she calls me all the time, but we know who's really the mean one here, and it's the one with all the teen hormones and the slamming-door issues...),
(Well, she's mostly moody except for when she does that Jekyll/Hyde thing and turns into my sweet wonderful daughter again for a few hours a day, how many years does this schizophrenic-teen-act last, anyway, and then I can have the sweet wonderful girl back for good?)
So, let's see...work...daughter...what else?
D is his regular self...C is about to drive him crazy but he doesn't freak out like I do, he is actually able to relate to her in a calm, reasonable manner and get through to her.
D is awesome and I don't appreciate him like I should, I need to work on that.
What else?...
KITTY!
My kitty is SOOOOO BIG. She is not even a year old yet and she is the biggest cat any of us have ever seen. The fact that she's so big and that she has such fluffy long hair makes us think that she's partly Maine Coon.
Here she is, taking up both of my pillows (and yes, I do have Goofy pillows, stop laughing!):
It's almost like my life is getting in my way...but, you know, "WHAT LIFE?!"
I work too much overtime. Who knew that getting a raise at work also meant more responsibility and more, you know, work?
My daughter is all mean and moody and teenager-y...mean mean mean (that's what she calls me all the time, but we know who's really the mean one here, and it's the one with all the teen hormones and the slamming-door issues...),
(Well, she's mostly moody except for when she does that Jekyll/Hyde thing and turns into my sweet wonderful daughter again for a few hours a day, how many years does this schizophrenic-teen-act last, anyway, and then I can have the sweet wonderful girl back for good?)
So, let's see...work...daughter...what else?
D is his regular self...C is about to drive him crazy but he doesn't freak out like I do, he is actually able to relate to her in a calm, reasonable manner and get through to her.
D is awesome and I don't appreciate him like I should, I need to work on that.
What else?...
KITTY!
My kitty is SOOOOO BIG. She is not even a year old yet and she is the biggest cat any of us have ever seen. The fact that she's so big and that she has such fluffy long hair makes us think that she's partly Maine Coon.
Here she is, taking up both of my pillows (and yes, I do have Goofy pillows, stop laughing!):
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Back, again...
The ads up there are a little disconcerting...I see them move out of the corner of my eye and it makes me jump.
But I just can't work up the kind of outrage about the ads that would compel me to leave AOL and go somewhere else...
Because I am LAZY. Or, SELF-CENTERED. Or, I just DON'T CARE about some things, like stupid ads on my journal on a service that I PAY FOR (okay, maybe I care a little bit).
I care about my daughter. I care about getting my daughter through eighth grade in one piece, mentally and physically. I care about seeing her grow up into a beautiful, strong woman, and I care about making sure she doesn't lose her way.
I care about our environment and our earth. I care about animals...since I now have a pet it's scary, how much I care about animals. Or maybe the scary thing is that I never thought much about them before.
I care about space exploration. I care about books.
I care about all of our soldiers in the military.
I care about my life...or, I'm trying to.
So, I guess my point is that I'm staying put. The stupid ads are just not high on my list of things to care about right now.
Though I will throw in a couple more STUPID ADS, STUPID ADS, for good measure...
But I just can't work up the kind of outrage about the ads that would compel me to leave AOL and go somewhere else...
Because I am LAZY. Or, SELF-CENTERED. Or, I just DON'T CARE about some things, like stupid ads on my journal on a service that I PAY FOR (okay, maybe I care a little bit).
I care about my daughter. I care about getting my daughter through eighth grade in one piece, mentally and physically. I care about seeing her grow up into a beautiful, strong woman, and I care about making sure she doesn't lose her way.
I care about our environment and our earth. I care about animals...since I now have a pet it's scary, how much I care about animals. Or maybe the scary thing is that I never thought much about them before.
I care about space exploration. I care about books.
I care about all of our soldiers in the military.
I care about my life...or, I'm trying to.
So, I guess my point is that I'm staying put. The stupid ads are just not high on my list of things to care about right now.
Though I will throw in a couple more STUPID ADS, STUPID ADS, for good measure...
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Oh, come on...
I watched the Country Music awards tonight ONLY because I wanted to see my boy Elton and my girl Dolly sing together...
Apparently, the producers of the show knew that this was the only reason I would watch, so I kept hearing, "Coming up, Elton and Dolly...", and I kept falling for it, until there was only ten minutes left to the show and they FINALLY came on stage!
Which is worse, TV producers and their diabolical plans to keep you glued to your screen...or people like me, who are so utterly predictable?
'Imagine' Elton and Dolly together...somehow not quite what I expected, but they both make so happy...so it's all good...
Favorite song by Dolly Parton: 'Coat of Many Colors'
Favorite song by Elton John: 'Michelle's Song', of course!
(Heh, I just used this nifty new spell check thing...AOL is just getting sooo high tech...it unfortunately just told me I was spelling my name wrong...who knew?)
Apparently, the producers of the show knew that this was the only reason I would watch, so I kept hearing, "Coming up, Elton and Dolly...", and I kept falling for it, until there was only ten minutes left to the show and they FINALLY came on stage!
Which is worse, TV producers and their diabolical plans to keep you glued to your screen...or people like me, who are so utterly predictable?
'Imagine' Elton and Dolly together...somehow not quite what I expected, but they both make so happy...so it's all good...
Favorite song by Dolly Parton: 'Coat of Many Colors'
Favorite song by Elton John: 'Michelle's Song', of course!
(Heh, I just used this nifty new spell check thing...AOL is just getting sooo high tech...it unfortunately just told me I was spelling my name wrong...who knew?)
Monday, November 14, 2005
Suitors...
My sweet little kitty has a suitor. Or should I say, an admirer?
Or should I say, a stalker?
Mr.Morris, the orange tabby from down the street, seems to have developed a HUGE crush on my sweet Josie.
I know when he's around because Josie, instead of resting peacefully on her windowsill, starts trilling and hiding and peeking out from behind the curtains. That means HE is out there...sitting on our front porch...just STARING at her through the window.
It's very creepy!
Go away, Mr.Morris! My sweet little eight-month old kitty is NOT allowed out of the house, and she's too young to date anyway!
And she's been fixed so I know she isn't sending out any, you know, SIGNALS or anything...
He's out there AGAIN! Just sitting there with a lovestruck look on his face...
I swear, I can almost see my kitty blushing...
Or should I say, a stalker?
Mr.Morris, the orange tabby from down the street, seems to have developed a HUGE crush on my sweet Josie.
I know when he's around because Josie, instead of resting peacefully on her windowsill, starts trilling and hiding and peeking out from behind the curtains. That means HE is out there...sitting on our front porch...just STARING at her through the window.
It's very creepy!
Go away, Mr.Morris! My sweet little eight-month old kitty is NOT allowed out of the house, and she's too young to date anyway!
And she's been fixed so I know she isn't sending out any, you know, SIGNALS or anything...
He's out there AGAIN! Just sitting there with a lovestruck look on his face...
I swear, I can almost see my kitty blushing...
Sunday, November 13, 2005
I was always here...
So much drama, all the time... God save me from the thirteen-year old girl...
(sigh) ... enough said ... let's move on ...
I won a $200 airline gift certificate at work Friday. Wow! I never win anything, I couldn't believe it...
Now my daughter, my mother, and my boyfriend all think that I should take them with me wherever I go.
I'm leaning toward going BY MYSELF...
BY MYSELF...
and do I really have to come back?
:)
On second thought, I won't go by myself. I'll take MY KITTY with me!
(sigh) ... enough said ... let's move on ...
I won a $200 airline gift certificate at work Friday. Wow! I never win anything, I couldn't believe it...
Now my daughter, my mother, and my boyfriend all think that I should take them with me wherever I go.
I'm leaning toward going BY MYSELF...
BY MYSELF...
and do I really have to come back?
:)
On second thought, I won't go by myself. I'll take MY KITTY with me!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Drowning in blue...
I left the house this evening for a quick trip to drop my RX off at Walgreens...then to get gas, pick up dinner, and go back home...
Dropped my prescription off. Everything went bad after that...
I ran out of gas in the gas station parking lot. If only my car had made it just a couple more feet to the pump...
So there I sat, stranded at the gas station...And of course, there must be a run on gas or something, because cars were lined up all around...and everyone was giving me dirty looks for not getting my car out of the way...
I called D, no answer. My grandparents, no answer. My brother, no answer. D again, no answer. I called home to let C know what happened, and she is, of course, online, so I couldn't get through. Finally, I called my mom at work...there was nothing she could do, of course, being at work, but she could at least listen to me cry out of frustration.
She told me to try to push the car. I tried, but I couldn't get it over the hump. She told me to go in and ask for help. I told her that I only saw one worker in there, who was extremely busy with the hundred people who decided to get gas between 7 and 8 p.m. tonight. She said ask a customer for help...
I couldn't possibly have done that...First, because I'm shy...Second, because they were all giving me dirty looks since I was blocking everything...and Third, because I live in a melting pot neighborhood and I swear I didn't hear anyone that could speak enough English to understand me, and my Spanish doesn't extend beyond numbers...
Finally, someone approached my window and asked if I need help. Guess who? Out of all the hundred MEN that came in and out of the gas station parking lot and heard me trying to start my car, after twenty minutes, it's the one and only WOMAN customer who comes and offers help...
So the two of us WOMEN were able to push my car over the hump and out of the way...
Go, girl power...who needs guys anyway?!
...
I left work early yesterday because I was SICK, and didn't go to work today...I went to the doctor and he gave me an antibiotic and told me to stay out of work until Monday.
But then I wouldn't be able to go to Midnight Madness on Friday, and I couldn't possibly miss that...so I'm going to try very hard to get all better tomorrow.
Very hard.
...
I took my daughter out of school last week and told her she wouldn't go back if she didn't want to. I then received opposition from all sides, including...
My mom, who kind of agreed with me, but says it was too sudden...
My grandma, who told me I was ruining my daughter's chance for a good education...
D, who told me that I should have at least made her stay in until fall break (which starts this Monday)...
The really bad part was that, on the very same day, C had her first appointment with her new therapist. Dr. W said that homeschooling would make his job infinitely more difficult...because the last thing socially 'immature' children need is to be completely isolated...etc etc etc.
Well, I hardly think being 'isolated' for a few months would make a huge difference, but anyway...
C and I discussed it and she agreed to go back to school for one more day, so that she wouldn't have an absence on her record, while we went in and spoke with the principal about our issues.
New principal this year. She's really nice.
The next day, C informed me she was going to stay at school after all...mean kids and all...because she wants to go on the eighth grade field trip to Washington D.C.
She's serious, too.
I had no idea a field trip could carry this much weight.
(I should, though, because I still remember my eighth grade field trip...we went to Space Camp...so, so cool...)
So what do I do? She's still miserable, but she actually WANTS to stay.
So I let her go back this week...the principal said she would make some changes and...she actually did...Principal called the ringleaders down to her office individually and 'talked' with them...Principal changed the rules at lunchroom and C can now sit wherever she wants...
Things have been marginally better since then. It encourages me to see these changes being made, just for my daughter. I was looking forward to homeschooling her, but also a little apprehensive about what it meant for my daughter getting into a good high school next year, and how effective I would be at it, seeing that I work full time.
So I guess now I'm just going to wait and see. I hate when life gets like this, and you have no idea what is the best thing to do...
...
Did I say, 'Who needs guys anyway?'
I take it back...this weekend, D paid to get my brakes fixed...$280. I guess I do need my guy! :)
...
So far in the last two weeks, I've had to get the fuel pump replaced and the brakes fixed. The brake people said I need four new tires, too. I'm supposed to try and get those Friday before going to LEXINGTON for MIDNIGHT MADNESS.
All this for a car that is barely three years old.
(sigh)
It's a Ford Focus. Be warned...
Dropped my prescription off. Everything went bad after that...
I ran out of gas in the gas station parking lot. If only my car had made it just a couple more feet to the pump...
So there I sat, stranded at the gas station...And of course, there must be a run on gas or something, because cars were lined up all around...and everyone was giving me dirty looks for not getting my car out of the way...
I called D, no answer. My grandparents, no answer. My brother, no answer. D again, no answer. I called home to let C know what happened, and she is, of course, online, so I couldn't get through. Finally, I called my mom at work...there was nothing she could do, of course, being at work, but she could at least listen to me cry out of frustration.
She told me to try to push the car. I tried, but I couldn't get it over the hump. She told me to go in and ask for help. I told her that I only saw one worker in there, who was extremely busy with the hundred people who decided to get gas between 7 and 8 p.m. tonight. She said ask a customer for help...
I couldn't possibly have done that...First, because I'm shy...Second, because they were all giving me dirty looks since I was blocking everything...and Third, because I live in a melting pot neighborhood and I swear I didn't hear anyone that could speak enough English to understand me, and my Spanish doesn't extend beyond numbers...
Finally, someone approached my window and asked if I need help. Guess who? Out of all the hundred MEN that came in and out of the gas station parking lot and heard me trying to start my car, after twenty minutes, it's the one and only WOMAN customer who comes and offers help...
So the two of us WOMEN were able to push my car over the hump and out of the way...
Go, girl power...who needs guys anyway?!
...
I left work early yesterday because I was SICK, and didn't go to work today...I went to the doctor and he gave me an antibiotic and told me to stay out of work until Monday.
But then I wouldn't be able to go to Midnight Madness on Friday, and I couldn't possibly miss that...so I'm going to try very hard to get all better tomorrow.
Very hard.
...
I took my daughter out of school last week and told her she wouldn't go back if she didn't want to. I then received opposition from all sides, including...
My mom, who kind of agreed with me, but says it was too sudden...
My grandma, who told me I was ruining my daughter's chance for a good education...
D, who told me that I should have at least made her stay in until fall break (which starts this Monday)...
The really bad part was that, on the very same day, C had her first appointment with her new therapist. Dr. W said that homeschooling would make his job infinitely more difficult...because the last thing socially 'immature' children need is to be completely isolated...etc etc etc.
Well, I hardly think being 'isolated' for a few months would make a huge difference, but anyway...
C and I discussed it and she agreed to go back to school for one more day, so that she wouldn't have an absence on her record, while we went in and spoke with the principal about our issues.
New principal this year. She's really nice.
The next day, C informed me she was going to stay at school after all...mean kids and all...because she wants to go on the eighth grade field trip to Washington D.C.
She's serious, too.
I had no idea a field trip could carry this much weight.
(I should, though, because I still remember my eighth grade field trip...we went to Space Camp...so, so cool...)
So what do I do? She's still miserable, but she actually WANTS to stay.
So I let her go back this week...the principal said she would make some changes and...she actually did...Principal called the ringleaders down to her office individually and 'talked' with them...Principal changed the rules at lunchroom and C can now sit wherever she wants...
Things have been marginally better since then. It encourages me to see these changes being made, just for my daughter. I was looking forward to homeschooling her, but also a little apprehensive about what it meant for my daughter getting into a good high school next year, and how effective I would be at it, seeing that I work full time.
So I guess now I'm just going to wait and see. I hate when life gets like this, and you have no idea what is the best thing to do...
...
Did I say, 'Who needs guys anyway?'
I take it back...this weekend, D paid to get my brakes fixed...$280. I guess I do need my guy! :)
...
So far in the last two weeks, I've had to get the fuel pump replaced and the brakes fixed. The brake people said I need four new tires, too. I'm supposed to try and get those Friday before going to LEXINGTON for MIDNIGHT MADNESS.
All this for a car that is barely three years old.
(sigh)
It's a Ford Focus. Be warned...
Tuesday, October 4, 2005
I had a subject...but I lost it...
I've cried a couple of times today.
Most recently, watching Animal Planet's 'Heart of a Lioness'...I can't believe I got hooked into watching it, right to its devastating end...
Dumb show...
The first time I cried was at work today, after hearing over the phone the latest terrible thing that happened at my daughter's school today...
My daughter has never had an easy time of it at school...for some reason the boys and the bullies have decided she's an easy target, and they make her life miserable, every day. But she's been able to stand it because she's had a few friends in the past...
It seems that since school started this year, though, her friends are gone, and she now has no protection from the TERRIBLE kids that are in her class...
Every day, she comes home with worse and worse stories...
Last week, when a girl hit her and cursed at her and threatened her, seemed to be the point of no return. When she came home with this one, I called the school but the principal was already gone...and before I could call them the next morning, C called me and left a message on my work voicemail that the principal already knew about what happened and took care of it.
Turns out that a teacher saw what happened and the girl ended up getting expelled.
But, if anything, things got worse for C, and it seems to have triggered a total disregard for human decency when it comes to how the kids are treating my daughter. They LOCKED her out of a room? They called her a WHAT?
She has an important eighth grade test thing at school tomorrow, and then I'm picking her up after it's over, and I'm never taking her back.
Never.
The really funny thing is that this is a private school, and so I'm actually paying them to have my daughter treated this way. And you have to sign a form when you register that, if for any reason your child is withdrawn from the school, you still have to pay for the whole year.
I will fight to the end before they get any more of my money.
Right now, I'm looking at homeschooling her for the rest of the year, as I've already bought all the books...
But I'm just at a loss, and so sad. She got all A's and B's on her report card last week, which is the best she's done in a year and a half. Her teachers are wonderful. I'm afraid that, academically, this will hurt her.
Her soul is more important to me right now, though. NO ONE could survive in an environment like that.
Crying again...
I guess we'll see what happens.
Most recently, watching Animal Planet's 'Heart of a Lioness'...I can't believe I got hooked into watching it, right to its devastating end...
Dumb show...
The first time I cried was at work today, after hearing over the phone the latest terrible thing that happened at my daughter's school today...
My daughter has never had an easy time of it at school...for some reason the boys and the bullies have decided she's an easy target, and they make her life miserable, every day. But she's been able to stand it because she's had a few friends in the past...
It seems that since school started this year, though, her friends are gone, and she now has no protection from the TERRIBLE kids that are in her class...
Every day, she comes home with worse and worse stories...
Last week, when a girl hit her and cursed at her and threatened her, seemed to be the point of no return. When she came home with this one, I called the school but the principal was already gone...and before I could call them the next morning, C called me and left a message on my work voicemail that the principal already knew about what happened and took care of it.
Turns out that a teacher saw what happened and the girl ended up getting expelled.
But, if anything, things got worse for C, and it seems to have triggered a total disregard for human decency when it comes to how the kids are treating my daughter. They LOCKED her out of a room? They called her a WHAT?
She has an important eighth grade test thing at school tomorrow, and then I'm picking her up after it's over, and I'm never taking her back.
Never.
The really funny thing is that this is a private school, and so I'm actually paying them to have my daughter treated this way. And you have to sign a form when you register that, if for any reason your child is withdrawn from the school, you still have to pay for the whole year.
I will fight to the end before they get any more of my money.
Right now, I'm looking at homeschooling her for the rest of the year, as I've already bought all the books...
But I'm just at a loss, and so sad. She got all A's and B's on her report card last week, which is the best she's done in a year and a half. Her teachers are wonderful. I'm afraid that, academically, this will hurt her.
Her soul is more important to me right now, though. NO ONE could survive in an environment like that.
Crying again...
I guess we'll see what happens.
Saturday, October 1, 2005
It's time to go back...
John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #79: Chicago!:The last time I went to Chicago, I posted an entry on it here...
I love THE LAKE...I love the Chicago River, and the way that it winds through the city...I love the Planetarium, and the dolphin show at the Shedd Aquarium...
I love learning the history of Chicago, and that there's so much of it...I love being in a city that was nearly burned to the ground but never gave up, and instead rebuilt itself a thousand times better...I love the architecture and the skyline and especially the Hancock Observatory...
I love that I can see where the Haymarket affair happened...I love that I can stand at the old Water Tower...
I REALLY love the Chicago Cubs.
And the zoo there is amazing, and FREE...
My favorite thing about Chicago is the fact that, while I've visited other big cities, it's only in Chicago that I feel like I'm at home. More than anywhere else, it truly is America's City...
That's why the 'America Windows' couldn't possibly have been anywhere else!
I love THE LAKE...I love the Chicago River, and the way that it winds through the city...I love the Planetarium, and the dolphin show at the Shedd Aquarium...
I love learning the history of Chicago, and that there's so much of it...I love being in a city that was nearly burned to the ground but never gave up, and instead rebuilt itself a thousand times better...I love the architecture and the skyline and especially the Hancock Observatory...
I love that I can see where the Haymarket affair happened...I love that I can stand at the old Water Tower...
I REALLY love the Chicago Cubs.
And the zoo there is amazing, and FREE...
My favorite thing about Chicago is the fact that, while I've visited other big cities, it's only in Chicago that I feel like I'm at home. More than anywhere else, it truly is America's City...
That's why the 'America Windows' couldn't possibly have been anywhere else!
Monday, September 26, 2005
Clueless...
I still don't have my car back...it's currently being held hostage by the car place, at least through tomorrow...
It's been quite fun getting around town...
My sister-in-law has come to pick me up every morning, we take my daughter to school and then she takes me on to work...
My mom comes to pick me up at work and takes me home...except Friday, because D got off early and he wanted to pick me up instead...
Tomorrow, I have a dentist appointment in the middle of the day, so my grandma will come pick me up at work early and take me to my dentist...
I REALLY like not having to drive, I could totally get used to being chauffered around town and having this door-to-door service!
But what I like even better is the fact that I have this wonderful family and these wonderful friends who are helping without hesitating, because that's what family does...
In this period of my life, it took my car breaking down to remind me that I am not alone...SO MANY people are here for me...I wish everyone could be as blessed as I am. What's $819 and a little less freedom compared to this kind of assurance?
:)
It's been quite fun getting around town...
My sister-in-law has come to pick me up every morning, we take my daughter to school and then she takes me on to work...
My mom comes to pick me up at work and takes me home...except Friday, because D got off early and he wanted to pick me up instead...
Tomorrow, I have a dentist appointment in the middle of the day, so my grandma will come pick me up at work early and take me to my dentist...
I REALLY like not having to drive, I could totally get used to being chauffered around town and having this door-to-door service!
But what I like even better is the fact that I have this wonderful family and these wonderful friends who are helping without hesitating, because that's what family does...
In this period of my life, it took my car breaking down to remind me that I am not alone...SO MANY people are here for me...I wish everyone could be as blessed as I am. What's $819 and a little less freedom compared to this kind of assurance?
:)
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Ugh...
I opened up the door to set out some garbage...
turned on the porch light...
and on my front porch there were AT LEAST eight baby slugs scattered around...
Gross! Ick! Ugh! Yuck! EWWW!
Maybe they appeared because of the rain?
I hate this house! I hate the crickets, and the slugs, and the mold...and did I mention the crickets?
At least now my cute little kitty can protect me from the crickets that get in the house...I love my kitty...
turned on the porch light...
and on my front porch there were AT LEAST eight baby slugs scattered around...
Gross! Ick! Ugh! Yuck! EWWW!
Maybe they appeared because of the rain?
I hate this house! I hate the crickets, and the slugs, and the mold...and did I mention the crickets?
At least now my cute little kitty can protect me from the crickets that get in the house...I love my kitty...
Friday, September 23, 2005
Locked in a vault with a TV and my favorite shows...
Could there be anything better?
Patrick's Sunday Seven, Episode 3:
You will be locked in a tape vault for six months and you can only have seven choices of television programs to watch. Name the seven shows - present or past - that you'd want to make sure were accessible by your remote control. Don't worry about listing them in any particular order...just pick seven you wouldn't want to be without for six months.
Here's my seven:
1. All the different incarnations of Star Trek...is it cheating to list them separately, or is it cheating to lump them all as one show? Regardless, give me 'ST: Deep Space Nine', 'ST: The Next Generation', 'Star Trek' (the original series), 'ST: Voyager', and 'ST: Enterprise', and I am one happy girl...
2. 'Buffy'...
3. 'Charmed'...
4. 'The Pretender'...(ssshhhhh! Don't interrupt my fantasy, please...)
5. 'MASH'... this is my most recent discovery...I avoided watching this when I was growing up - I was an Army brat and I already had quite enough of Army life, thank you...I only started watching it in the past couple of years because of D's addiction to it and, wow!, why didn't I know before what a great show it was?!
6. 'Survivor'...don't you like to record the whole season and then, after the winner is announced, go back and watch it from a different perspective and see masterminds at work? ... What, no one else does this? Oh...
7. I don't know what to put for #7!!! So, when the time comes and I'm put in the vault, I will close my eyes and pick between 'Alias', 'CSI', and 'MacGyver'...I'm thinking 'MacGyver' will win!
Patrick's Sunday Seven, Episode 3:
You will be locked in a tape vault for six months and you can only have seven choices of television programs to watch. Name the seven shows - present or past - that you'd want to make sure were accessible by your remote control. Don't worry about listing them in any particular order...just pick seven you wouldn't want to be without for six months.
Here's my seven:
1. All the different incarnations of Star Trek...is it cheating to list them separately, or is it cheating to lump them all as one show? Regardless, give me 'ST: Deep Space Nine', 'ST: The Next Generation', 'Star Trek' (the original series), 'ST: Voyager', and 'ST: Enterprise', and I am one happy girl...
2. 'Buffy'...
3. 'Charmed'...
4. 'The Pretender'...(ssshhhhh! Don't interrupt my fantasy, please...)
5. 'MASH'... this is my most recent discovery...I avoided watching this when I was growing up - I was an Army brat and I already had quite enough of Army life, thank you...I only started watching it in the past couple of years because of D's addiction to it and, wow!, why didn't I know before what a great show it was?!
6. 'Survivor'...don't you like to record the whole season and then, after the winner is announced, go back and watch it from a different perspective and see masterminds at work? ... What, no one else does this? Oh...
7. I don't know what to put for #7!!! So, when the time comes and I'm put in the vault, I will close my eyes and pick between 'Alias', 'CSI', and 'MacGyver'...I'm thinking 'MacGyver' will win!
Fuel pump...
Fuel pump gone bad...
$819...
$819 to fix a car that is three years and one month old...
$819...
The mechanic gives me the price like it's no big deal...
Like I HAVE $819 just lying around in case my car needed to get fixed!
My sister-in-law took me to work yesterday, and my mom picked me up. Maybe in about a month, I'll have saved enough on gas to be able to pay to get my stupid car back...
:(
$819...
$819 to fix a car that is three years and one month old...
$819...
The mechanic gives me the price like it's no big deal...
Like I HAVE $819 just lying around in case my car needed to get fixed!
My sister-in-law took me to work yesterday, and my mom picked me up. Maybe in about a month, I'll have saved enough on gas to be able to pay to get my stupid car back...
:(
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
!@#$%^^&*!
My car broke today.
Of course, right AFTER the 3-year/36000 mile warranty goes out on it...how do they plan that?
D came and rescued me of course (my hero, my knight, my love), but my poor car was towed off in the opposite direction to the dealer. I don't even want to think about how much it's going to cost to get it fixed...
BUMMER!
I have lots more to discuss, but my throat hurts and I'm depressed and I really just want to go to sleep...
At least my kitty is still. so. sweet...
Of course, right AFTER the 3-year/36000 mile warranty goes out on it...how do they plan that?
D came and rescued me of course (my hero, my knight, my love), but my poor car was towed off in the opposite direction to the dealer. I don't even want to think about how much it's going to cost to get it fixed...
BUMMER!
I have lots more to discuss, but my throat hurts and I'm depressed and I really just want to go to sleep...
At least my kitty is still. so. sweet...
Thursday, September 8, 2005
Adolescence (sigh)...Can I hang on?
We're late for school and work in the morning because my daughter can't put the kitty down. She's late going to bed at night because she can't put the kitty down. The poor kitty has to grab her sleep where she can...the minute C leaves the house, I swear I can see the kitty heave a big sigh of relief...
But seriously, my daughter at 13 is sooo much harder to deal with than she was at 12. How many more years of this do I have to survive? I looked in the mirror the other day and nearly died, I suddenly have WRINKLES, thanks to her...
For the last month all I've done is work, get into arguments with my teenage (oh. my. goodness) daughter, and play with my sweet adorable kitty...at least MY KITTY doesn't talk back to me!
Here she is:
My innocent little kitty, who NEVER gets in trouble... :)
But seriously, my daughter at 13 is sooo much harder to deal with than she was at 12. How many more years of this do I have to survive? I looked in the mirror the other day and nearly died, I suddenly have WRINKLES, thanks to her...
For the last month all I've done is work, get into arguments with my teenage (oh. my. goodness) daughter, and play with my sweet adorable kitty...at least MY KITTY doesn't talk back to me!
Here she is:
My innocent little kitty, who NEVER gets in trouble... :)
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